My boyfriend told me I should limit my spending

[Anonymous 1]

He says he's worried about the amount of money I've been spending during the pandemic. I've redone a lot of things in my house. I've bought a ton of new clothes. I have also bought a lot of random stuff. I went from working 50-90 hours a week to sitting at home doing pretty much nothing. I'm bored and decided to do some enjoyable things for myself.

I told him that my spending was fine and everything was okay. He tried to lecture me more which is when I told him to mind his own business. I don't try and police what he buys or how he spends his money because it is simply not my place. He should give me the same respect.

I would understand if I was asking him for money and then buying random stuff with it but that isn't the case. I would never ask him for money.

The whole thing irritated me.

[Pjmm]

Perhaps he's just concerned. So long as you have savings and can pay your bills that's fine. Do you live with him and share expenses?

[Anonymous 2]

If bills are paid and you have savings I say buy whatever your heart desires. You can't take money with you when you die.

[Anonymous 3]

You sound like me! I've bought a ton of new clothes, storage solutions, bedding, etc. I'm just so bored!!

My husband actually made a comment a couple of days ago when the doorbell rang. He asked "Are you expecting anything?" and I replied "Always!". He followed up with "You need to slow down on that soon..." and I almost got upset, but then he clarified... he just meant because we're leaving the country soon and won't be home to receive packages!

Back to you, as long as he doesn't have a genuine reason to be concerned, you're right, it's none of his business.

[Anonymous 1]

Perhaps he's just concerned. So long as you have savings and can pay your bills that's fine. Do you live with him and share expenses?

We don't live together. If he was just concerned then me telling him everything was fine should have been enough. I don't need another adult lecturing me on my own finances.

[Momto2boys973]

Well... he may be concerned for you. Shopping can become and addiction and by your own admission you’re buying random stuff because you’re bored. It is a red flag. I’m not saying that you have a problem, I don’t know you or your shopping habits. But he does and if he sees signs of something potentially problematic, maybe you should do some thinking if he doesn’t have a point.

[Pjmm]

Perhaps he's just concerned. So long as you have savings and can pay your bills that's fine. Do you live with him and share expenses?

We don't live together. If he was just concerned then me telling him everything was fine should have been enough. I don't need another adult lecturing me on my own finances.

Then just ask him to drop the subject. If he continues harping, walk away or tell him discussion's over. I was married to a spendthrift so I'd probably be like him, telling you to be careful.

[Anonymous 1]

Well... he may be concerned for you. Shopping can become and addiction and by your own admission you’re buying random stuff because you’re bored. It is a red flag. I’m not saying that you have a problem, I don’t know you or your shopping habits. But he does and if he sees signs of something potentially problematic, maybe you should do some thinking if he doesn’t have a point.

I don't usually have time to shop for stuff and now I have all the time in the world. Buying stuff when you have more time isn't a red flag. Shopping to the point where you are broke might be a red flag but I'm nowhere even close to that.

[Valentina327]

He's probably afraid you're going to end up hitting him up for a loan! LOL

Seriously though, he might genuinely be worried about you and how you're doing. There's a lot of people mentally struggling with all of what's going on today, and a radical change in habits often is a sign that someone is having a hard time mentally. Once is enough though - another word and he gets smothered with one of your new dresses!

[Momto2boys973]

Shopping can be a problem even without going broke. Just as drinking can be a problem without a DUI or any other issues. It’s probably the fact that you’re fulfilling your days with shopping what’s worrying him, not that you’ll end up broke.
As I said, I don’t know you. But he does. If he’s concerned there must be a reason. Maybe just don’t be that quick to dismiss what he’s saying, that’s all.

Well... he may be concerned for you. Shopping can become and addiction and by your own admission you’re buying random stuff because you’re bored. It is a red flag. I’m not saying that you have a problem, I don’t know you or your shopping habits. But he does and if he sees signs of something potentially problematic, maybe you should do some thinking if he doesn’t have a point.

I don't usually have time to shop for stuff and now I have all the time in the world. Buying stuff when you have more time isn't a red flag. Shopping to the point where you are broke might be a red flag but I'm nowhere even close to that.