BM isn't letting my step kids to to school

[Anonymous 9]

He can't file an emergency order? That usually gets you in front of a judge in 48 hours. I'd think children being deprived of their education would count as an emergency.

They are NOT being deprived of an education just because they aren't going to a brick and mortar building. Online schooling is still getting an education.

It's not the same as going to a school, first. There's a huge aspect of social interaction that's missing, which a parent that's homeschooling will have to put effort into making a plan to insure they have that. School is where we learn how to interact in society as adults.

Second, most random people aren't necessarily qualified to take on educating their children. There's a difference between someone who wants to home school their kids and someone just keeping them home out of fear. Homeschooling takes preparation.

Someone who truly believes in homeschooling is going to put forth the effort and go the extra mile. They're going to research and know what they're doing. They're going to prepare a whole program.

Someone just suddenly keeping them home may not be capable of putting in the same effort. There are many people that believe the school should be responsible for everything, so they have the attitude that the online learning should just be a "set it and forget it" type of mechanism. There's a lot of parents that aren't even that diligent about helping with homework.

A child's education is going to suffer unless they have a fully engaged, committed parent overseeing things. Homeschooling is a lot of work. A parent doing this by default isn't as likely to put forth the same effort as a parent actually committed to and believing in the process with a solid plan in place.

It will not hurt them to stay safe and do online school for either part of the year or the full year. It's one year. It's a parent's job to make sure their kids are social. I know tons of people who do online homeschooling and the parents are not required to teach the children, they have virtual classes with a real teacher and other children. It's really not that hard.
It also seems her children are old enough to figure out how to socialize on their own. But you are also not talking about this BM personally, you are trying to lump her into your own opinions on what you think every homeschool family looks likes.

[xsxpxixdxexrxsx]

I wouldn't do half days either, talk about a pain in the ass.
I feel for your SD though, my older kids want to go back too. I'm ok with them going, it's my kindergartner and first grader I'm worried about. If the older kids go back to school though, I might as well send them all to school because if the older kids bring it home it's going to burn through our house like wildfire anyway.. I've had a whole plan for how to deal with the situation if it should come up lol

[Valentina327]

They are NOT being deprived of an education just because they aren't going to a brick and mortar building. Online schooling is still getting an education.

It's not the same as going to a school, first. There's a huge aspect of social interaction that's missing, which a parent that's homeschooling will have to put effort into making a plan to insure they have that. School is where we learn how to interact in society as adults.

Second, most random people aren't necessarily qualified to take on educating their children. There's a difference between someone who wants to home school their kids and someone just keeping them home out of fear. Homeschooling takes preparation.

Someone who truly believes in homeschooling is going to put forth the effort and go the extra mile. They're going to research and know what they're doing. They're going to prepare a whole program.

Someone just suddenly keeping them home may not be capable of putting in the same effort. There are many people that believe the school should be responsible for everything, so they have the attitude that the online learning should just be a "set it and forget it" type of mechanism. There's a lot of parents that aren't even that diligent about helping with homework.

A child's education is going to suffer unless they have a fully engaged, committed parent overseeing things. Homeschooling is a lot of work. A parent doing this by default isn't as likely to put forth the same effort as a parent actually committed to and believing in the process with a solid plan in place.

It will not hurt them to stay safe and do online school for either part of the year or the full year. It's one year. It's a parent's job to make sure their kids are social. I know tons of people who do online homeschooling and the parents are not required to teach the children, they have virtual classes with a real teacher and other children. It's really not that hard.
It also seems her children are old enough to figure out how to socialize on their own. But you are also not talking about this BM personally, you are trying to lump her into your own opinions on what you think every homeschool family looks likes.

And none of us here do know this woman individually, including yourself. When there's a post made about anyone on here all that we're ever able to speak in is generalizations/averages/norms.

What's your point?

[Valentina327]

I agree with everything you said. But man! I feel so bad for anyone with kids in school these days. What a pain in the ass! I honestly don't know what I'd do (as a parent) and I"m glad that I didn't have to make this sort of a decision. I was the kid who loved school. I'd want to be there. And I probably would have felt really ripped off if I would have been denied that in-school socialization and activity in my junior and senior year. Honestly, I think if this would have happened when I was in school and either of my parents told me that I couldn't go to school, I would probably have defied them and gone anyway! I could just see me hiring an attorney to plea my case! lol. But on the other hand...I have a young niece who had been hospitalized for weeks with this Covid-19. TBH, I'm surprised she is still with us.

For whatever reason, Covid-19 doesn't affect every person the same way. And I know that some have alluded to it not really affecting children but I've seen differently. I've seen it take a very active/athletic young girl and almost snatch her life. So...I don't what the answer is. I think all we can do is the best we can do. Do your own research, weigh the risks, and decide from their. The "choice" will be different for everyone. This sucks!

They are NOT being deprived of an education just because they aren't going to a brick and mortar building. Online schooling is still getting an education.

It's not the same as going to a school, first. There's a huge aspect of social interaction that's missing, which a parent that's homeschooling will have to put effort into making a plan to insure they have that. School is where we learn how to interact in society as adults.

Second, most random people aren't necessarily qualified to take on educating their children. There's a difference between someone who wants to home school their kids and someone just keeping them home out of fear. Homeschooling takes preparation.

Someone who truly believes in homeschooling is going to put forth the effort and go the extra mile. They're going to research and know what they're doing. They're going to prepare a whole program.

Someone just suddenly keeping them home may not be capable of putting in the same effort. There are many people that believe the school should be responsible for everything, so they have the attitude that the online learning should just be a "set it and forget it" type of mechanism. There's a lot of parents that aren't even that diligent about helping with homework.

A child's education is going to suffer unless they have a fully engaged, committed parent overseeing things. Homeschooling is a lot of work. A parent doing this by default isn't as likely to put forth the same effort as a parent actually committed to and believing in the process with a solid plan in place.

I am so sorry to hear about your niece #10. There's nothing worse than seeing the kids sick and hospitalized. I'm truly hoping she makes a full recovery. ❤ This strain is definitely some evil beast.

[mcginnisc]

He can't file an emergency order? That usually gets you in front of a judge in 48 hours. I'd think children being deprived of their education would count as an emergency.

They are NOT being deprived of an education just because they aren't going to a brick and mortar building. Online schooling is still getting an education.

It's not the same as going to a school, first. There's a huge aspect of social interaction that's missing, which a parent that's homeschooling will have to put effort into making a plan to insure they have that. School is where we learn how to interact in society as adults.

Second, most random people aren't necessarily qualified to take on educating their children. There's a difference between someone who wants to home school their kids and someone just keeping them home out of fear. Homeschooling takes preparation.

Someone who truly believes in homeschooling is going to put forth the effort and go the extra mile. They're going to research and know what they're doing. They're going to prepare a whole program.

Someone just suddenly keeping them home may not be capable of putting in the same effort. There are many people that believe the school should be responsible for everything, so they have the attitude that the online learning should just be a "set it and forget it" type of mechanism. There's a lot of parents that aren't even that diligent about helping with homework.

A child's education is going to suffer unless they have a fully engaged, committed parent overseeing things. Homeschooling is a lot of work. A parent doing this by default isn't as likely to put forth the same effort as a parent actually committed to and believing in the process with a solid plan in place.

Val-
Just stop. Seriously. What the schools are offering is NOT homeschooling. So, you absolutely cannot compare them. The majority of schools have an online option- meaning the teachers are teaching via online. Full stop. It is basically the same as being in the classroom as the parents are NOT involved. It is a perfectly viable option. As far as socialization goes- there has not been any for anyone for 6 months.. everyone has lived with it and it is not all of a sudden be a detriment to their adult lives because for maybe one year, their *norm* was interrupted. That argument is asinine.
It is a ton more work for the teachers to do the virtual option. My friends are *all* doing it as our county is fully virtual with the exception of private schools. They have been working on this virtual teaching experience for months now to get ready for school to now start delayed on the 17th as today was supposed to be the first day back. They had to prepare lesson plans for virtual teaching as well as FTF.
As someone that homeschools it really bugs me when I read peoples' comments that have no experience with it at all and just make assumptions.

[hockeymom87]

Yeah that isn't true. No one is custodial over the other with BM and DH. Same with me and my ex husband. It is equal.

Which address do they use as their primary address for school? That is the "custodial" parent.

I feel like many in this post are confusing legal and physical custody. Even in situations where one parent has primary physical custody, both parents usually share joint legal custody. Legal custody is the ability to make decisions for your children about medical care, education, religion, etc. In this instance, if teenagers wanted to go to school and dad was supportive, a mediator or judge might well side with dad and teens unless someone in the family had a comorbidity or the family was in a Covid hotspot.

I know when I was growing up and my parents had joint 50/50 custody both my parents could make legal and medical decisions. Neither one had primary custody. I had both address listed. If I was sick the school would ask me who to call

[Anonymous 10]

That's so cute! I can just picture a little Valentina saying that!

Your story reminds me of how my daughter was about school! School would just end and the Staples flyers would flood our house weekly. Those flyers tantalized the crap out of her! She'd drive me nuts until I agreed to head to Staples so that she could do her BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING...in JUNE!

She loved school...and all those school supplies really revved her up! lol

I was a "Little Goody Two Shoes" when I was in school. But I loved school. So, if I were one of these kids and I was a junior or senior in high school, I'd be getting myself to school one way or another despite what ANYBODY said. I actually think that if either parent called the school and told them not to allow the kids to attend, the school would ignore them! LOL I think they'd let the kid in!

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that if a court was involved, the court favored the child's wants!

He can't file an emergency order? That usually gets you in front of a judge in 48 hours. I'd think children being deprived of their education would count as an emergency.

LOL
When I was in grammar school I used to be ready to go back right after Christmas, while break was still going. I still remember being in about second grade asking my ma when I could go back. I must have asked a few too many times, and my mother in exasperation says to me "They're not there! Do you want to go to school with the janitor?!" To which I of course responded with "yes!"

I would have probably found a way to get to school too if I was any older teen and my parents were trying to hold me back.

You bring up an interesting point - I wonder what would happen if a kid went but their parents didn't want them to. What is a school able to do? An interesting inversion of the usual rebellion!

[hockeymom87]

He can certainly have an opinion, but no, she is the custodial parent and should be the one to decide. My husband and I are going round and round regarding our own children and one of us will “win” and the other will simply have been heard.

op said they have 50/50

Even with 50/50 one parent is the primary parent, meaning the kids use that parents address as their main address.

In the 90s when my parents had 50/50 I would get mail at both addresses and the school had both addresses listed and both my parents would get stuff from the schools.

[Anonymous 10]

Thanks, Valentina.

I agree with everything you said. But man! I feel so bad for anyone with kids in school these days. What a pain in the ass! I honestly don't know what I'd do (as a parent) and I"m glad that I didn't have to make this sort of a decision. I was the kid who loved school. I'd want to be there. And I probably would have felt really ripped off if I would have been denied that in-school socialization and activity in my junior and senior year. Honestly, I think if this would have happened when I was in school and either of my parents told me that I couldn't go to school, I would probably have defied them and gone anyway! I could just see me hiring an attorney to plea my case! lol. But on the other hand...I have a young niece who had been hospitalized for weeks with this Covid-19. TBH, I'm surprised she is still with us.

For whatever reason, Covid-19 doesn't affect every person the same way. And I know that some have alluded to it not really affecting children but I've seen differently. I've seen it take a very active/athletic young girl and almost snatch her life. So...I don't what the answer is. I think all we can do is the best we can do. Do your own research, weigh the risks, and decide from their. The "choice" will be different for everyone. This sucks!

It's not the same as going to a school, first. There's a huge aspect of social interaction that's missing, which a parent that's homeschooling will have to put effort into making a plan to insure they have that. School is where we learn how to interact in society as adults.

Second, most random people aren't necessarily qualified to take on educating their children. There's a difference between someone who wants to home school their kids and someone just keeping them home out of fear. Homeschooling takes preparation.

Someone who truly believes in homeschooling is going to put forth the effort and go the extra mile. They're going to research and know what they're doing. They're going to prepare a whole program.

Someone just suddenly keeping them home may not be capable of putting in the same effort. There are many people that believe the school should be responsible for everything, so they have the attitude that the online learning should just be a "set it and forget it" type of mechanism. There's a lot of parents that aren't even that diligent about helping with homework.

A child's education is going to suffer unless they have a fully engaged, committed parent overseeing things. Homeschooling is a lot of work. A parent doing this by default isn't as likely to put forth the same effort as a parent actually committed to and believing in the process with a solid plan in place.

I am so sorry to hear about your niece #10. There's nothing worse than seeing the kids sick and hospitalized. I'm truly hoping she makes a full recovery. ❤ This strain is definitely some evil beast.

[Anonymous 10]

I appreciate the value of home schooling. But I honestly have no way of knowing that virtual schooling is just as good as home schooling. I would think that in some instances it might be and depending upon the parent involved, in other instances, it might not be. I thought that's what Valentina was trying to say.

They are NOT being deprived of an education just because they aren't going to a brick and mortar building. Online schooling is still getting an education.

It's not the same as going to a school, first. There's a huge aspect of social interaction that's missing, which a parent that's homeschooling will have to put effort into making a plan to insure they have that. School is where we learn how to interact in society as adults.

Second, most random people aren't necessarily qualified to take on educating their children. There's a difference between someone who wants to home school their kids and someone just keeping them home out of fear. Homeschooling takes preparation.

Someone who truly believes in homeschooling is going to put forth the effort and go the extra mile. They're going to research and know what they're doing. They're going to prepare a whole program.

Someone just suddenly keeping them home may not be capable of putting in the same effort. There are many people that believe the school should be responsible for everything, so they have the attitude that the online learning should just be a "set it and forget it" type of mechanism. There's a lot of parents that aren't even that diligent about helping with homework.

A child's education is going to suffer unless they have a fully engaged, committed parent overseeing things. Homeschooling is a lot of work. A parent doing this by default isn't as likely to put forth the same effort as a parent actually committed to and believing in the process with a solid plan in place.

Val-
Just stop. Seriously. What the schools are offering is NOT homeschooling. So, you absolutely cannot compare them. The majority of schools have an online option- meaning the teachers are teaching via online. Full stop. It is basically the same as being in the classroom as the parents are NOT involved. It is a perfectly viable option. As far as socialization goes- there has not been any for anyone for 6 months.. everyone has lived with it and it is not all of a sudden be a detriment to their adult lives because for maybe one year, their *norm* was interrupted. That argument is asinine.
It is a ton more work for the teachers to do the virtual option. My friends are *all* doing it as our county is fully virtual with the exception of private schools. They have been working on this virtual teaching experience for months now to get ready for school to now start delayed on the 17th as today was supposed to be the first day back. They had to prepare lesson plans for virtual teaching as well as FTF.
As someone that homeschools it really bugs me when I read peoples' comments that have no experience with it at all and just make assumptions.