Joint finances?

caustib
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We have a joint account for household expenses and separate accounts for day to day spending. We have joint credit card accounts that get paid from the household account. All of our savings accounts are joint.
Anonymous 4

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When we married, we co-mingled all cash accounts and re-titled the house to include my name. I couldn't imagine us having separate accounts.
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Traci_Momof2
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We've always had joint finances since the day we got married. Seems a hell of a lot easier to me. If you keep everything separate, then how do you pay for joint expenses such as rent/mortgage, utilities, family vacations. Who pays for what for the kids? What about even the little shit like food and such? Am I supposed to yell at my husband for eating the Oreo's that I bought with my own money? Do husband and wife each have their own shelf in the fridge?

People say they keep their finances separate to have less fighting. To my mind, it just seems like it would cause more fighting and more problems. If I don't trust him enough to combine my finances with him, I don't trust him enough to marry him.
Anonymous 5

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DH and I have everything joint and it works well for us. Before I met and married DH, my live in boyfriend and I got a joint account. That ended quickly when he started questioning me on why I spent $35 on a small bottle of conditioner. For the record, we were very financially comfortable so there was no budgetary reason to question it.
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Poietes wrote:
Fri Jul 31, 2020 9:02 am
Everything is joint, we are marriage that’s what marriage is. Except obviously his business accounts are his own.
That's what marriage is? Lol

I've been married over 40 years and we have separate bank accounts. So having joint accounts isn't what marriage is at all.
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Valentina327
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I think what works the best is each having an account for their own spending and then a third joint account where you both put in for bills.

I tried that combination thing with my ex. One person swipes their debit card then doesn't tell the other one, then you go to write out a check for the electric bill and the cash is gone. It makes for some annoyed phone calls! LOL
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Valentina327
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Anonymous 5 wrote:
Fri Jul 31, 2020 4:01 pm
DH and I have everything joint and it works well for us. Before I met and married DH, my live in boyfriend and I got a joint account. That ended quickly when he started questioning me on why I spent $35 on a small bottle of conditioner. For the record, we were very financially comfortable so there was no budgetary reason to question it.
I have to be honest, I'd probably ask you about that too! LOL
Anonymous 4

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If I saw a $35 transaction on our account, I wouldn't question it. But if I had learned that it was for conditioner, it might raise my eyebrows. $35. for conditioner??? That stuff better be made out of gold.

Many years ago, when DH and I started a budget, one of the things we budgeted for was "play money" for each of us. It's only $50.00 a month for each of us, but each of us can spend that money on whatever we want...no questions asked. I stash mine until it becomes BIG MONEY and then I party with the girls. 🍸🍹🍷🥂 LOL.
Valentina327 wrote:
Fri Jul 31, 2020 6:08 pm
Anonymous 5 wrote:
Fri Jul 31, 2020 4:01 pm
DH and I have everything joint and it works well for us. Before I met and married DH, my live in boyfriend and I got a joint account. That ended quickly when he started questioning me on why I spent $35 on a small bottle of conditioner. For the record, we were very financially comfortable so there was no budgetary reason to question it.
I have to be honest, I'd probably ask you about that too! LOL
Blue_Prelude
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We have separate accounts, but we both have access to them.
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Traci_Momof2
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Valentina327 wrote:
Fri Jul 31, 2020 6:06 pm
I think what works the best is each having an account for their own spending and then a third joint account where you both put in for bills.

I tried that combination thing with my ex. One person swipes their debit card then doesn't tell the other one, then you go to write out a check for the electric bill and the cash is gone. It makes for some annoyed phone calls! LOL
That's why we use a credit card for daily expenses. If one person swipes the credit card for, say gas, the money is still in the checking account to pay the electric bill. Then the credit card bill is paid off when the statement comes. If the credit card bill comes higher than typical then we just say "credit card was high this month, we both need to tighten up on our daily spending". But money never actually comes out of the checking account until one of us (these days me) sits down to pay all the bills.

Plus the concept of swiping a debit card is cringy to me. We've had our credit card number stolen from gas pumps or what not multiple times over the years. The credit card company handles it very well and we've never had to pay money, even temporarily, for charges that aren't ours. I can't even imagine having my debit card to my bank accounts stolen in that way. {{shudder}}
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