I can't believe he said that to me

Emmasmom
Duchess
Duchess
Posts: 1558
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:16 am

Unread post

Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:04 pm
Emmasmom wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 8:02 pm
Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 7:53 pm Yeah, see here's the thing...it's not fair to get mad at a kid for doing what he has been taught is acceptable. So don't take it personally or immediately connect personal characteristics to the behavior (like rude or spoiled)

Instead, teach him that this is not the way you ask WHEN YOU ARE SPEAKING TO ME. Reward and show gratitude for appropriate behavior. And withhold pizza rolls until he gets there.
hes not been taught that. I dont know where you got that from. I'm not asking parenting advice either. I knew how to handle it and did handle it. I was just stunned that he said that to me. He didn't get any pizza rolls for the day and he spent time in the corner. After he got out of the corner, he was much better acting.
I think I was reacting to the replies more than anything...seems a bunch of people here would have stopped the world and kicked him off. As for not being taught that...do you hang out with Mom and Dad? Or just Mom? Because my image was of Dad standing in exactly that spot and saying those words. And THAT is how you teach a kid it's okay.

Although the seeing it on TV idea also has a lot of merit. If he's been exposed to media in which people behave this way and are rewarded, even if only with a canned laugh track, it's enough to encourage the kid to give it a go.
They are our best couple friend and we have been friends for 17 years. He has not been raised like that.
User avatar
Linda_Runs
Donated
Donated
Regent
Regent
Posts: 3836
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2019 9:38 am
Location: Nut House

Unread post

Emmasmom wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:26 pm
Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:04 pm
Emmasmom wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 8:02 pm

hes not been taught that. I dont know where you got that from. I'm not asking parenting advice either. I knew how to handle it and did handle it. I was just stunned that he said that to me. He didn't get any pizza rolls for the day and he spent time in the corner. After he got out of the corner, he was much better acting.
I think I was reacting to the replies more than anything...seems a bunch of people here would have stopped the world and kicked him off. As for not being taught that...do you hang out with Mom and Dad? Or just Mom? Because my image was of Dad standing in exactly that spot and saying those words. And THAT is how you teach a kid it's okay.

Although the seeing it on TV idea also has a lot of merit. If he's been exposed to media in which people behave this way and are rewarded, even if only with a canned laugh track, it's enough to encourage the kid to give it a go.
They are our best couple friend and we have been friends for 17 years. He has not been raised like that.
This is so true with many kids. Like mine, most kids are raised to not talk back or disrespect their parents and other adults. Even the best brought up kids have the ability to because they are kids.

We allow sarcasm. I am as sarcastic as they come, so how could I be surprised when my kids are. But there is a difference between sarcasm and disrespect. When I first read the initial post here it ruffled my feathers as a mom but then again, I wasn't the one actually hearing this child so I could understand the nuance in his voice. That is important too. When my two have said something like this kid did, my first response is a simple, "Excuse me. Would you like to rephrase that." 99.9 percent of the time that is the end of it.
User avatar
agander2017
Monkey's Mama
Princess Royal
Princess Royal
Posts: 5958
Joined: Wed May 23, 2018 11:11 am
Location: Lost in my own mind. Enter at your own risk.

Unread post

At 9 years old, I would have told him if he can't ask nicely, and behave, that he could go without those pizza rolls.

Then again, at 9 years old, I would think he can use a microwave and make them himself.
Image

Image
Deleted User 670

Unread post

Emmasmom wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 2:16 pm this summer I am watching a very good friends kids. Their son is 8. I watch them every summer and usually the kids are good. This year, the kid is so mouthy. Everything i say he talks back.

At 9 he told me to make him pizza rolls. I said no, thats not how you talk to someone. He looked right at me and said "I think you need to remember who's house this is." I was stunned. I'm at their house today
I would have said "hang on a minute while I call your mom and you can explain why I'm putting you in a time out."
PoplarGrove
Donated
Donated
Regent
Regent
Posts: 2820
Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 2:38 pm

Unread post

That's about the age kids start to go through another series of "test your limits". That doesn't mean it's acceptable but a discussion with his parents and you will probably set him straight. That like of "you need to remember whose house this is" has some sort of ring to me so I'm guessing he got it from one of the crappy preteen shows in syndication.

When my now 12 year old started that at about 9 years old I explained to her that while we see people acting that way on television that doesn't mean it's the way we should act. About a month after the episode she pulled it again and I changed all the streaming services passwords. After a week of no television for the three youngest children the 9 year old learned what was acceptable to say and what wasn't.
Emmasmom
Duchess
Duchess
Posts: 1558
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:16 am

Unread post

Linda_Runs wrote: Wed Jun 10, 2020 8:22 am
Emmasmom wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:26 pm
Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:04 pm

I think I was reacting to the replies more than anything...seems a bunch of people here would have stopped the world and kicked him off. As for not being taught that...do you hang out with Mom and Dad? Or just Mom? Because my image was of Dad standing in exactly that spot and saying those words. And THAT is how you teach a kid it's okay.

Although the seeing it on TV idea also has a lot of merit. If he's been exposed to media in which people behave this way and are rewarded, even if only with a canned laugh track, it's enough to encourage the kid to give it a go.
They are our best couple friend and we have been friends for 17 years. He has not been raised like that.
This is so true with many kids. Like mine, most kids are raised to not talk back or disrespect their parents and other adults. Even the best brought up kids have the ability to because they are kids.

We allow sarcasm. I am as sarcastic as they come, so how could I be surprised when my kids are. But there is a difference between sarcasm and disrespect. When I first read the initial post here it ruffled my feathers as a mom but then again, I wasn't the one actually hearing this child so I could understand the nuance in his voice. That is important too. When my two have said something like this kid did, my first response is a simple, "Excuse me. Would you like to rephrase that." 99.9 percent of the time that is the end of it.
I'm the same. Very sarcastic but by the look on his face, he was serious and trying to be the big guy. The parents made him write me an apology letter and tell me he's sorry this morning. He hugged me very tightly and I could tell he was very sorry. I told him thank you and that we could just start fresh today
Emmasmom
Duchess
Duchess
Posts: 1558
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:16 am

Unread post

PoplarGrove wrote: Wed Jun 10, 2020 10:32 am That's about the age kids start to go through another series of "test your limits". That doesn't mean it's acceptable but a discussion with his parents and you will probably set him straight. That like of "you need to remember whose house this is" has some sort of ring to me so I'm guessing he got it from one of the crappy preteen shows in syndication.

When my now 12 year old started that at about 9 years old I explained to her that while we see people acting that way on television that doesn't mean it's the way we should act. About a month after the episode she pulled it again and I changed all the streaming services passwords. After a week of no television for the three youngest children the 9 year old learned what was acceptable to say and what wasn't.
I think thats it. He was testing the waters and now he's learned that that shit doesn't fly
Locked Previous topicNext topic