Fat shamed by a doctor

[Anonymous 1]

This happened in January
DH found a doctor in this state who he is comfortable with managing his diabetes. He wanted myself and our children to be under the same doctor so I pushed myself to go through with a "first patient talking" appointment with her knowing that I prefer male doctors and dentists.

What happened? After looking at my paperwork, she seemed angry that she couldn't scold me (seems to me her style/ dictator/paternalistic/ rude) on my life style. I don't smoke, drink at all, take any drugs legal or illegal, eat healthy (my choice is vegan.) Yes, I am 3 lbs over my bmi but I am exercising, eating small portions, no desserts, and eating healthy etc.

She immediately told me (in a hateful way) that obviously eating vegan isn't helping my health obviously since my bmi is 25. She said that I need to start eating meat and stop stuffing my face! Yes, I am typing word for word what she said! She hands me the food pyramid chart and says start eating meat and stop stuffing your face.

She went on to accuse me of living on "vegan" junk food only and didn't stop her bitchy judgemental rant to me there!
She then demanded to know if I was sexually active. I told her that topic was off limits. She can stay out my bedroom and I will stay out of hers is my motto. She decided that I must have sexual diseases. She decided that I needed testing for the diseases that she decided that I had and a pregnancy test. No, married for 24 years. I am only 3 lbs over my bmi at this point in time. As I said, I am adjusting to my metabolism slowing down due to my age.
I could type a book on how horrible the experience was at the appointment. It became even worse. She preached to me what I failure I was and how horrible it was that I was three pounds over my bmi.

The grand finale was her taking my blood pressure, surprise (not) it was high! I was not pleased with the horrible experience and of course it would be high! She lectured me on that and I said to her, "Of course, it is high. I am sitting here and I don't want to be here. I do not find this visit helpful and I am angry." I left.
My daughter and teen son are not going to have her as our doctor but dh is staying with her for now.
I have a list of male doctors I will explore. (I am a child abuse survivor and my female birth parent was the worst of the abusers.) I like other women in general but feel more comfortable for my dentist and doctors to be males.

The doctor visit triggers some bad memories from childhood abuse but I am determined to not let a unprofessional, uninformed doctor frustrate and discourage my ongoing quest for my best possible health that is in my control!
I can lose the three pounds and will continue not eating the standard American food diet. I like not having the migraines that I had when I used to eat like "most people in the us."
I suspect that doctor feels insecure about her weight, and not getting enough fruits and vegetables in her diet possible and projected her feelings into my situation.
I didn't attack her back with my words because I am classy, educated, and strive to be a good nonjudgmental person with a live and let live attitude.

I am 3 lbs away from being in a safe bmi zone and I eat very healthy and exercise. I am close to being 50 and didn't state to her that I wasn't actively working on good health (losing the 3 lbs.) I didn't appreciate being accused of "pigging out on vegan junk food" based on no evidence and it is untrue.
She seems to view first appointments as lecture and not listen sessions. I did not care for her approach. I hope I can find another doctor that is good with type two diabetes care for dh and he will change from her! He has only been to one appointment. She didn't attack him for having a plant based diet or tell him to start eating meat immediately! I was sitting right there.
Maybe, I remind her of someone who was judgmental about the vegan thing in the past and she lashed out at me for it. I don't know where her anger came from because I am not hard to get along with at all! Also, I am not the "patient" type who comes in not caring about their health, who isn't wiling to strive to be at their best health! I do so many things that are "right."

Do you know what scares me? If she does that with "most" patients, she could drive someone with eating disorder into binge eating or starvation! Or a suicidal person to hurt themselves.
I am strong emotionally and know the issue is her and she is not a could fit to be my partner in health.
I just worry about the damage that doctor is doing to people who aren't as strong, generally confident, informed and determined as myself!
My weight is under control and I am a work in progress dealing with being 47 (metabolism slowing down) I am adapting more exercise and doing things "right."

Thank you for letting me vent about the bad experience! I feel better now!

[Anonymous 2]

I feel dubious about your story because I can't imagine a doctor behaving that way.

[Traci_Momof2]

My DH was once fat shamed by a doctor and it was a horrible experience for him. And he's way more than 3lbs over ideal BMI. But here's the thing. He knows he's obese. IME, people who are overweight or obese know that they are in that condition. It's not a secret to them. And shaming is NOT the way to get them to do something about it. All that the shaming does is further crush self-confidence and self-esteem and cause them to emotionally eat which just makes the weight even worse. And such is the cycle.

Doctors who can't figure that out aren't worth the time and energy.

[LiveWhatULove]

I am sorry of your perception of the visit, it sounds rather dreadful.

[KendallsMom]

Wow.

[Deleted User 1577]

It isn’t fat shaming when the F***ing doctor tells you to lose weight. And yes, I have had a doctor tell me to lose weight.

[MistressMonster]

This happened in January
DH found a doctor in this state who he is comfortable with managing his diabetes. He wanted myself and our children to be under the same doctor so I pushed myself to go through with a "first patient talking" appointment with her knowing that I prefer male doctors and dentists.

What happened? After looking at my paperwork, she seemed angry that she couldn't scold me (seems to me her style/ dictator/paternalistic/ rude) on my life style. I don't smoke, drink at all, take any drugs legal or illegal, eat healthy (my choice is vegan.) Yes, I am 3 lbs over my bmi but I am exercising, eating small portions, no desserts, and eating healthy etc.

She immediately told me (in a hateful way) that obviously eating vegan isn't helping my health obviously since my bmi is 25. She said that I need to start eating meat and stop stuffing my face! Yes, I am typing word for word what she said! She hands me the food pyramid chart and says start eating meat and stop stuffing your face.

She went on to accuse me of living on "vegan" junk food only and didn't stop her bitchy judgemental rant to me there!
She then demanded to know if I was sexually active. I told her that topic was off limits. She can stay out my bedroom and I will stay out of hers is my motto. She decided that I must have sexual diseases. She decided that I needed testing for the diseases that she decided that I had and a pregnancy test. No, married for 24 years. I am only 3 lbs over my bmi at this point in time. As I said, I am adjusting to my metabolism slowing down due to my age.
I could type a book on how horrible the experience was at the appointment. It became even worse. She preached to me what I failure I was and how horrible it was that I was three pounds over my bmi.

The grand finale was her taking my blood pressure, surprise (not) it was high! I was not pleased with the horrible experience and of course it would be high! She lectured me on that and I said to her, "Of course, it is high. I am sitting here and I don't want to be here. I do not find this visit helpful and I am angry." I left.
My daughter and teen son are not going to have her as our doctor but dh is staying with her for now.
I have a list of male doctors I will explore. (I am a child abuse survivor and my female birth parent was the worst of the abusers.) I like other women in general but feel more comfortable for my dentist and doctors to be males.

The doctor visit triggers some bad memories from childhood abuse but I am determined to not let a unprofessional, uninformed doctor frustrate and discourage my ongoing quest for my best possible health that is in my control!
I can lose the three pounds and will continue not eating the standard American food diet. I like not having the migraines that I had when I used to eat like "most people in the us."
I suspect that doctor feels insecure about her weight, and not getting enough fruits and vegetables in her diet possible and projected her feelings into my situation.
I didn't attack her back with my words because I am classy, educated, and strive to be a good nonjudgmental person with a live and let live attitude.

I am 3 lbs away from being in a safe bmi zone and I eat very healthy and exercise. I am close to being 50 and didn't state to her that I wasn't actively working on good health (losing the 3 lbs.) I didn't appreciate being accused of "pigging out on vegan junk food" based on no evidence and it is untrue.
She seems to view first appointments as lecture and not listen sessions. I did not care for her approach. I hope I can find another doctor that is good with type two diabetes care for dh and he will change from her! He has only been to one appointment. She didn't attack him for having a plant based diet or tell him to start eating meat immediately! I was sitting right there.
Maybe, I remind her of someone who was judgmental about the vegan thing in the past and she lashed out at me for it. I don't know where her anger came from because I am not hard to get along with at all! Also, I am not the "patient" type who comes in not caring about their health, who isn't wiling to strive to be at their best health! I do so many things that are "right."

Do you know what scares me? If she does that with "most" patients, she could drive someone with eating disorder into binge eating or starvation! Or a suicidal person to hurt themselves.
I am strong emotionally and know the issue is her and she is not a could fit to be my partner in health.
I just worry about the damage that doctor is doing to people who aren't as strong, generally confident, informed and determined as myself!
My weight is under control and I am a work in progress dealing with being 47 (metabolism slowing down) I am adapting more exercise and doing things "right."

Thank you for letting me vent about the bad experience! I feel better now!

I don't believe this at all.

[Anonymous 3]

I have never heard of a "first patient talking" appointment.
I just want to know what "vegan junk food" is.

This happened in January
DH found a doctor in this state who he is comfortable with managing his diabetes. He wanted myself and our children to be under the same doctor so I pushed myself to go through with a "first patient talking" appointment with her knowing that I prefer male doctors and dentists.

What happened? After looking at my paperwork, she seemed angry that she couldn't scold me (seems to me her style/ dictator/paternalistic/ rude) on my life style. I don't smoke, drink at all, take any drugs legal or illegal, eat healthy (my choice is vegan.) Yes, I am 3 lbs over my bmi but I am exercising, eating small portions, no desserts, and eating healthy etc.

She immediately told me (in a hateful way) that obviously eating vegan isn't helping my health obviously since my bmi is 25. She said that I need to start eating meat and stop stuffing my face! Yes, I am typing word for word what she said! She hands me the food pyramid chart and says start eating meat and stop stuffing your face.

She went on to accuse me of living on "vegan" junk food only and didn't stop her bitchy judgemental rant to me there!
She then demanded to know if I was sexually active. I told her that topic was off limits. She can stay out my bedroom and I will stay out of hers is my motto. She decided that I must have sexual diseases. She decided that I needed testing for the diseases that she decided that I had and a pregnancy test. No, married for 24 years. I am only 3 lbs over my bmi at this point in time. As I said, I am adjusting to my metabolism slowing down due to my age.
I could type a book on how horrible the experience was at the appointment. It became even worse. She preached to me what I failure I was and how horrible it was that I was three pounds over my bmi.

The grand finale was her taking my blood pressure, surprise (not) it was high! I was not pleased with the horrible experience and of course it would be high! She lectured me on that and I said to her, "Of course, it is high. I am sitting here and I don't want to be here. I do not find this visit helpful and I am angry." I left.
My daughter and teen son are not going to have her as our doctor but dh is staying with her for now.
I have a list of male doctors I will explore. (I am a child abuse survivor and my female birth parent was the worst of the abusers.) I like other women in general but feel more comfortable for my dentist and doctors to be males.

The doctor visit triggers some bad memories from childhood abuse but I am determined to not let a unprofessional, uninformed doctor frustrate and discourage my ongoing quest for my best possible health that is in my control!
I can lose the three pounds and will continue not eating the standard American food diet. I like not having the migraines that I had when I used to eat like "most people in the us."
I suspect that doctor feels insecure about her weight, and not getting enough fruits and vegetables in her diet possible and projected her feelings into my situation.
I didn't attack her back with my words because I am classy, educated, and strive to be a good nonjudgmental person with a live and let live attitude.

I am 3 lbs away from being in a safe bmi zone and I eat very healthy and exercise. I am close to being 50 and didn't state to her that I wasn't actively working on good health (losing the 3 lbs.) I didn't appreciate being accused of "pigging out on vegan junk food" based on no evidence and it is untrue.
She seems to view first appointments as lecture and not listen sessions. I did not care for her approach. I hope I can find another doctor that is good with type two diabetes care for dh and he will change from her! He has only been to one appointment. She didn't attack him for having a plant based diet or tell him to start eating meat immediately! I was sitting right there.
Maybe, I remind her of someone who was judgmental about the vegan thing in the past and she lashed out at me for it. I don't know where her anger came from because I am not hard to get along with at all! Also, I am not the "patient" type who comes in not caring about their health, who isn't wiling to strive to be at their best health! I do so many things that are "right."

Do you know what scares me? If she does that with "most" patients, she could drive someone with eating disorder into binge eating or starvation! Or a suicidal person to hurt themselves.
I am strong emotionally and know the issue is her and she is not a could fit to be my partner in health.
I just worry about the damage that doctor is doing to people who aren't as strong, generally confident, informed and determined as myself!
My weight is under control and I am a work in progress dealing with being 47 (metabolism slowing down) I am adapting more exercise and doing things "right."

Thank you for letting me vent about the bad experience! I feel better now!

[Anonymous 4]

LOL *slow

[Momto2boys973]

You and me both...

This happened in January
DH found a doctor in this state who he is comfortable with managing his diabetes. He wanted myself and our children to be under the same doctor so I pushed myself to go through with a "first patient talking" appointment with her knowing that I prefer male doctors and dentists.

What happened? After looking at my paperwork, she seemed angry that she couldn't scold me (seems to me her style/ dictator/paternalistic/ rude) on my life style. I don't smoke, drink at all, take any drugs legal or illegal, eat healthy (my choice is vegan.) Yes, I am 3 lbs over my bmi but I am exercising, eating small portions, no desserts, and eating healthy etc.

She immediately told me (in a hateful way) that obviously eating vegan isn't helping my health obviously since my bmi is 25. She said that I need to start eating meat and stop stuffing my face! Yes, I am typing word for word what she said! She hands me the food pyramid chart and says start eating meat and stop stuffing your face.

She went on to accuse me of living on "vegan" junk food only and didn't stop her bitchy judgemental rant to me there!
She then demanded to know if I was sexually active. I told her that topic was off limits. She can stay out my bedroom and I will stay out of hers is my motto. She decided that I must have sexual diseases. She decided that I needed testing for the diseases that she decided that I had and a pregnancy test. No, married for 24 years. I am only 3 lbs over my bmi at this point in time. As I said, I am adjusting to my metabolism slowing down due to my age.
I could type a book on how horrible the experience was at the appointment. It became even worse. She preached to me what I failure I was and how horrible it was that I was three pounds over my bmi.

The grand finale was her taking my blood pressure, surprise (not) it was high! I was not pleased with the horrible experience and of course it would be high! She lectured me on that and I said to her, "Of course, it is high. I am sitting here and I don't want to be here. I do not find this visit helpful and I am angry." I left.
My daughter and teen son are not going to have her as our doctor but dh is staying with her for now.
I have a list of male doctors I will explore. (I am a child abuse survivor and my female birth parent was the worst of the abusers.) I like other women in general but feel more comfortable for my dentist and doctors to be males.

The doctor visit triggers some bad memories from childhood abuse but I am determined to not let a unprofessional, uninformed doctor frustrate and discourage my ongoing quest for my best possible health that is in my control!
I can lose the three pounds and will continue not eating the standard American food diet. I like not having the migraines that I had when I used to eat like "most people in the us."
I suspect that doctor feels insecure about her weight, and not getting enough fruits and vegetables in her diet possible and projected her feelings into my situation.
I didn't attack her back with my words because I am classy, educated, and strive to be a good nonjudgmental person with a live and let live attitude.

I am 3 lbs away from being in a safe bmi zone and I eat very healthy and exercise. I am close to being 50 and didn't state to her that I wasn't actively working on good health (losing the 3 lbs.) I didn't appreciate being accused of "pigging out on vegan junk food" based on no evidence and it is untrue.
She seems to view first appointments as lecture and not listen sessions. I did not care for her approach. I hope I can find another doctor that is good with type two diabetes care for dh and he will change from her! He has only been to one appointment. She didn't attack him for having a plant based diet or tell him to start eating meat immediately! I was sitting right there.
Maybe, I remind her of someone who was judgmental about the vegan thing in the past and she lashed out at me for it. I don't know where her anger came from because I am not hard to get along with at all! Also, I am not the "patient" type who comes in not caring about their health, who isn't wiling to strive to be at their best health! I do so many things that are "right."

Do you know what scares me? If she does that with "most" patients, she could drive someone with eating disorder into binge eating or starvation! Or a suicidal person to hurt themselves.
I am strong emotionally and know the issue is her and she is not a could fit to be my partner in health.
I just worry about the damage that doctor is doing to people who aren't as strong, generally confident, informed and determined as myself!
My weight is under control and I am a work in progress dealing with being 47 (metabolism slowing down) I am adapting more exercise and doing things "right."

Thank you for letting me vent about the bad experience! I feel better now!

I don't believe this at all.