I am about to lose it on my kids

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mater-three
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My kids contribute and I’m about to lose it with them. They aren’t doing anything wrong; I’m just sick of having two grown adults in my house. I won’t kick them out though. They do pay rent.
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Linda_Runs
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mcginnisc wrote: Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:57 am
Linda_Runs wrote: Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:37 am I have read that 26 is the new 16.

In Canada, 34 percent of adult kids aged 20 to 34 were still living with their parents in 2016. In the larger cities like Toronto, that figure was up to 47 percent.
Oh no.. I told the minions that once they are in college/ graduated..that is it! Dh and I are retiring and moving to a retirement community that does not allow people under 55+ to live there. They can visit, but not live with us anymore. I informed them that we are raising functioning people in society and as such they need to have their crap together so that they don't become boomerangs. If it was a situation like now, fine..but, they would be doing *something* to help out...not just sitting on their thumbs.
I totally understand. I have friends with adult children, many who are boomerang adults. For what I gather, some moved back home because they are in between their completed education and finding employment in that profession; some have become unemployed due to circumstances beyond their control; and now with this virus, thousands of adult children are forced to move back home because their universities and residences have all shut down. You are correct that children should be doing something to help out, whether they are four or 24.
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Linda_Runs wrote: Mon Apr 06, 2020 8:11 am
mcginnisc wrote: Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:57 am
Linda_Runs wrote: Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:37 am I have read that 26 is the new 16.

In Canada, 34 percent of adult kids aged 20 to 34 were still living with their parents in 2016. In the larger cities like Toronto, that figure was up to 47 percent.
Oh no.. I told the minions that once they are in college/ graduated..that is it! Dh and I are retiring and moving to a retirement community that does not allow people under 55+ to live there. They can visit, but not live with us anymore. I informed them that we are raising functioning people in society and as such they need to have their crap together so that they don't become boomerangs. If it was a situation like now, fine..but, they would be doing *something* to help out...not just sitting on their thumbs.
I totally understand. I have friends with adult children, many who are boomerang adults. For what I gather, some moved back home because they are in between their completed education and finding employment in that profession; some have become unemployed due to circumstances beyond their control; and now with this virus, thousands of adult children are forced to move back home because their universities and residences have all shut down. You are correct that children should be doing something to help out, whether they are four or 24.
I moved back home with my parents at one point. My mother and I fought. She wanted me to help out but felt guilty for asking. Perhaps I took advantage like she said. I don't know it was so long ago. It's tough for both. My oldest and I both know this wasn't what we wanted, his being home. His dorm closed down and it is what it is. But I told him if push comes to shove you may need to help financially. He said I didn't offer because last year (he was home for the summer) when i came home you said don't worry about it. And I said yes I did but the time they are a- changing. I agree there needs to be agreement and everyone needs to help or go.
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agander2017
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You've clearly been letting them do this before now. You should have done something about it a long time ago.
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Linda_Runs wrote: Mon Apr 06, 2020 8:11 am
mcginnisc wrote: Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:57 am
Linda_Runs wrote: Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:37 am I have read that 26 is the new 16.

In Canada, 34 percent of adult kids aged 20 to 34 were still living with their parents in 2016. In the larger cities like Toronto, that figure was up to 47 percent.
Oh no.. I told the minions that once they are in college/ graduated..that is it! Dh and I are retiring and moving to a retirement community that does not allow people under 55+ to live there. They can visit, but not live with us anymore. I informed them that we are raising functioning people in society and as such they need to have their crap together so that they don't become boomerangs. If it was a situation like now, fine..but, they would be doing *something* to help out...not just sitting on their thumbs.
I totally understand. I have friends with adult children, many who are boomerang adults. For what I gather, some moved back home because they are in between their completed education and finding employment in that profession; some have become unemployed due to circumstances beyond their control; and now with this virus, thousands of adult children are forced to move back home because their universities and residences have all shut down. You are correct that children should be doing something to help out, whether they are four or 24.
That's what has happened here.
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They didn't start taking advantage of you until covid19 appeared?
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I wouldn’t kick them out, especially not during the current crisis, but I’d make it quite clear that they are expected to contribute. However, it seems like this has been going on for a long time. My expectations would’ve been set from the beginning.
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