Therapy doesn’t work

[Pjmm]

I'm not sure about depression, but I've suffered with anxiety all my life. Therapy never worked for me. As a matter of fact, talking to a therapist made me even more anxious.

I wish her the best.

It did me as well but at the time panic attacks weren't as widely known as now. I certainly didn't know what they were. But I only tried one therapist. It could have been better with others or with CBT. My son benefited from his. The girl might need something different or a different person.

[Anonymous 4]

Is she medicated? Contrary to what most here will tell you, antidepressants can make a huge improvement. It took a genetic testing to determine the right medicine but I’ve felt more human than I’ve ever felt before.

I am in therapy as well. My therapist is wonderful and a perfect fit for me. It took a while to find the right therapist. Two therapists isn’t really a lot. Therapy works but it’s hard work. Some people expect depression to just go away because they talk to a therapist. It doesn’t work like that.

Yep. I'm on anti-depressants and it does make a huge difference. I didn't want to go on them at first, but I'm glad I tried because I feel SO much better.

[LiveWhatULove]

I am sorry she is suffering. I wish you guys the best.

[Deleted User 670]

Is she on antidepressants? If not, she should be. They do work. But it may take a while to find the right one for her.

[Anonymous 5]

I feel your pain and your teen's. This was an issue that we struggled with for years in our house. I remember my dd complaining every time she left her therapist. She repeatedly said, "I don't know why you waste your money on this. I'm not getting anything out of it." And then, we tried a different therapist. And we tried yet another therapist. (I swear we tried at least 4 different ones before we found one that seemed to be a good fit for her.) But even when we did find that good fit, my dd frequently said, "This is a waste of time and money."

Somewhere in between trying those different therapists, she also started taking anxiety medicine. She continued to go to that good-fit therapist for at least 1.5 years. Then, she stopped going....because she was better. Four months passed, and she came to me and said, "I think I need to go back to the therapist. I never realized how much better I was feeling...UNTIL I STOPPED GOING." (The point is: They may be getting more out of the therapy than what they or even you realize.)

Consider trying a different therapist. Seek out recommendations from your friends who may also have children in therapy. The right fit matters. Good luck to you.

My teen suffers from depression and anxiety. She is home from college now because of the virus, so it helps to keep an eye on her, but I don’t know what to do. She has been dealing with it for a long time and hasn’t gotten better, and it’s really affecting her in all areas of her life. We’ve tried therapy and that didn’t help. She felt it was completely useless and honestly nothing came of it except thousands of dollars I spent on it. Which would be ok if it was actually helping. I’m just at a loss and don’t want to continue seeing her suffer.

[Anonymous 5]

I happen to agree with you. I don't know how old OP's teen is; but I remember everyone telling us that medicine wasn't a good idea for a young kid. I can't recall what age my dd started medicine (I'm thinking she was about 16). Once she was on medicine, she slowly began to be able to relax some. And now, years later, she's doing pretty darn well. She'll always be somewhat of an anxious person, I think. But at least now, she feels better and can enjoy life.

Is she on antidepressants? If not, she should be. They do work. But it may take a while to find the right one for her.

[Deleted User 670]

My kid's anxiety really started kicking in when she started middle school. It took me until she was in 10th grade to get her to try zoloft. She was convinced that antidepressants would fundamentally change her personality. However, once she got on zoloft she really started to enjoy life and school and realized how much anxiety was holding her back and that she was wrong about antidepressants changing who she was. I'd like to punch the person who told her that they would.

I know that sometimes doctors put patients on antipsychotics that are meant for bipolar depression or even schizophrenia. Because the previous antidepressant just doesn't seem to be working. And those certainly can have a dampening effect on one's emotions if given to the wrong person (ie does not have bipolar depression or schizophrenic). And even the wrong schizophrenic medication can affect someone who has schizophrenia badly. Everyone's biochemistry is different and until genetic testing for all medication is available and reasonably priced, prescribing the right antidepressant is more of an artwork and trial and error even if the prescribing doctor is a trained psychiatrist vs a GP.

I happen to agree with you. I don't know how old OP's teen is; but I remember everyone telling us that medicine wasn't a good idea for a young kid. I can't recall what age my dd started medicine (I'm thinking she was about 16). Once she was on medicine, she slowly began to be able to relax some. And now, years later, she's doing pretty darn well. She'll always be somewhat of an anxious person, I think. But at least now, she feels better and can enjoy life.

Is she on antidepressants? If not, she should be. They do work. But it may take a while to find the right one for her.

[Anonymous 5]

You and I have spoken before about this, I think. I'm so glad your dd is doing well and that she is now able to enjoy life. I can totally relate to what you said about wanting to punch the person who said what they said about the medicine. Being a parent is hard enough. To know what to do to help your kid can be so overwhelming and stressful. We certainly don't need people filling our kids' heads with things that they may not even be sure of. For us, it took years to get this right. But my God...seeing my kid happier and LIVING feels so good now! (I literally took a deep breath after typing that! It really was a lot of work and took a long time. Feeling very grateful to be where we are now!)

My kid's anxiety really started kicking in when she started middle school. It took me until she was in 10th grade to get her to try zoloft. She was convinced that antidepressants would fundamentally change her personality. However, once she got on zoloft she really started to enjoy life and school and realized how much anxiety was holding her back and that she was wrong about antidepressants changing who she was. I'd like to punch the person who told her that they would.

I know that sometimes doctors put patients on antipsychotics that are meant for bipolar depression or even schizophrenia. Because the previous antidepressant just doesn't seem to be working. And those certainly can have a dampening effect on one's emotions if given to the wrong person (ie does not have bipolar depression or schizophrenic). And even the wrong schizophrenic medication can affect someone who has schizophrenia badly. Everyone's biochemistry is different and until genetic testing for all medication is available and reasonably priced, prescribing the right antidepressant is more of an artwork and trial and error even if the prescribing doctor is a trained psychiatrist vs a GP.

I happen to agree with you. I don't know how old OP's teen is; but I remember everyone telling us that medicine wasn't a good idea for a young kid. I can't recall what age my dd started medicine (I'm thinking she was about 16). Once she was on medicine, she slowly began to be able to relax some. And now, years later, she's doing pretty darn well. She'll always be somewhat of an anxious person, I think. But at least now, she feels better and can enjoy life.

Is she on antidepressants? If not, she should be. They do work. But it may take a while to find the right one for her.

[Deleted User 670]

She really is doing so much better. Doing things on her own. A few years ago writing a paper that required researching would throw her into a panic. Even though she is a gifted writer. She would call me and ask me to help her find sources. That's not happening any more. I haven't had to google a single thing or offer any kind of help while she takes her online classes and writes her papers. She still gets anxiety but when it becomes more than her zoloft can handle, she'll take some GABA or hawthorne before she has a meltdown. She still has incidents that she could have handled better but because of her anxiety and her tendency to 'cut her nose off to spite her face' she doesn't always drop a crusade when she should and she goes tilting those damn windmills 'fighting for the principle'. *sigh* But she is getting better. She even referred to herself as an adult once when she was offering up way too much mouth over something and I asked how many adults were in the room and she included herself! She's been so riddled with anxiety about the whole uncertainty of being an adult that she would constantly say she's not ready to be an adult and not refer to her as an adult. She's a slow bloomer but she's getting there!

You and I have spoken before about this, I think. I'm so glad your dd is doing well and that she is now able to enjoy life. I can totally relate to what you said about wanting to punch the person who said what they said about the medicine. Being a parent is hard enough. To know what to do to help your kid can be so overwhelming and stressful. We certainly don't need people filling our kids' heads with things that they may not even be sure of. For us, it took years to get this right. But my God...seeing my kid happier and LIVING feels so good now! (I literally took a deep breath after typing that! It really was a lot of work and took a long time. Feeling very grateful to be where we are now!)

My kid's anxiety really started kicking in when she started middle school. It took me until she was in 10th grade to get her to try zoloft. She was convinced that antidepressants would fundamentally change her personality. However, once she got on zoloft she really started to enjoy life and school and realized how much anxiety was holding her back and that she was wrong about antidepressants changing who she was. I'd like to punch the person who told her that they would.

I know that sometimes doctors put patients on antipsychotics that are meant for bipolar depression or even schizophrenia. Because the previous antidepressant just doesn't seem to be working. And those certainly can have a dampening effect on one's emotions if given to the wrong person (ie does not have bipolar depression or schizophrenic). And even the wrong schizophrenic medication can affect someone who has schizophrenia badly. Everyone's biochemistry is different and until genetic testing for all medication is available and reasonably priced, prescribing the right antidepressant is more of an artwork and trial and error even if the prescribing doctor is a trained psychiatrist vs a GP.

I happen to agree with you. I don't know how old OP's teen is; but I remember everyone telling us that medicine wasn't a good idea for a young kid. I can't recall what age my dd started medicine (I'm thinking she was about 16). Once she was on medicine, she slowly began to be able to relax some. And now, years later, she's doing pretty darn well. She'll always be somewhat of an anxious person, I think. But at least now, she feels better and can enjoy life.

[Anonymous 5]

That's so great! And she's only going to get better, I'm sure. Her seeing herself as an adult is major progress, too! She's accepting responsibility for her own growth, health, and success. Her just being so in tune with herself is going to help her to move even closer towards being at peace. I wish her so much happiness and good health, Pink.

She really is doing so much better. Doing things on her own. A few years ago writing a paper that required researching would throw her into a panic. Even though she is a gifted writer. She would call me and ask me to help her find sources. That's not happening any more. I haven't had to google a single thing or offer any kind of help while she takes her online classes and writes her papers. She still gets anxiety but when it becomes more than her zoloft can handle, she'll take some GABA or hawthorne before she has a meltdown. She still has incidents that she could have handled better but because of her anxiety and her tendency to 'cut her nose off to spite her face' she doesn't always drop a crusade when she should and she goes tilting those damn windmills 'fighting for the principle'. *sigh* But she is getting better. She even referred to herself as an adult once when she was offering up way too much mouth over something and I asked how many adults were in the room and she included herself! She's been so riddled with anxiety about the whole uncertainty of being an adult that she would constantly say she's not ready to be an adult and not refer to her as an adult. She's a slow bloomer but she's getting there!

You and I have spoken before about this, I think. I'm so glad your dd is doing well and that she is now able to enjoy life. I can totally relate to what you said about wanting to punch the person who said what they said about the medicine. Being a parent is hard enough. To know what to do to help your kid can be so overwhelming and stressful. We certainly don't need people filling our kids' heads with things that they may not even be sure of. For us, it took years to get this right. But my God...seeing my kid happier and LIVING feels so good now! (I literally took a deep breath after typing that! It really was a lot of work and took a long time. Feeling very grateful to be where we are now!)

My kid's anxiety really started kicking in when she started middle school. It took me until she was in 10th grade to get her to try zoloft. She was convinced that antidepressants would fundamentally change her personality. However, once she got on zoloft she really started to enjoy life and school and realized how much anxiety was holding her back and that she was wrong about antidepressants changing who she was. I'd like to punch the person who told her that they would.

I know that sometimes doctors put patients on antipsychotics that are meant for bipolar depression or even schizophrenia. Because the previous antidepressant just doesn't seem to be working. And those certainly can have a dampening effect on one's emotions if given to the wrong person (ie does not have bipolar depression or schizophrenic). And even the wrong schizophrenic medication can affect someone who has schizophrenia badly. Everyone's biochemistry is different and until genetic testing for all medication is available and reasonably priced, prescribing the right antidepressant is more of an artwork and trial and error even if the prescribing doctor is a trained psychiatrist vs a GP.