Therapy doesn’t work

[Anonymous 6]

How was she diagnosed?

If she hasn't already had one, I would recommend a psychological evaluation. Insurance generally pays and probably in the time of coronavirus it is something that could be done remotely. My daughter was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ADHD soon after she entered college. Her evaluator said that it is not uncommon for young adults to start exhibiting symptoms when they leave home for the first time. A good evaluator would be able to recommend therapy, specific meds, or a combination. She could then take that evaluation to her primary health care provider and get his/her input on meds.

[mojogirl]

My teen suffers from depression and anxiety. She is home from college now because of the virus, so it helps to keep an eye on her, but I don’t know what to do. She has been dealing with it for a long time and hasn’t gotten better, and it’s really affecting her in all areas of her life. We’ve tried therapy and that didn’t help. She felt it was completely useless and honestly nothing came of it except thousands of dollars I spent on it. Which would be ok if it was actually helping. I’m just at a loss and don’t want to continue seeing her suffer.

If your newly home college student is a teen (19 is the highest) and all this is going on and you're having to keep eyes on her, there's more to the story.

Yeah, huh? If you're trying for the quintessential anon2 spot, try harder.

[Deleted User 203]

Maybe sit down and ask her what it is she wants and expects from therapy?

Does she want a cure-all? A "fix" to her problems and for it all to go away? Or does she just want to be able to talk out things with another person who will be honest and objective....things she doesn't feel comfortable saying to you or others?

If she's interested in other forms of therapy, check your local area to see if there's art or music therapies. If there is, maybe this will interest her.

She wants to not feel the way she does anymore. So I guess a fix to the problems which obviously won’t happen overnight, but this all has been going on for some time.

I'm so very sorry for her but also for you as a Mom. As a Mom of a child who struggles with not only mental health issues (depression, anxiety, PTSD, and also an eating disorder; she is getting help for all but it took her a while to want to, too) but physical ones, it hurts US too as we watch our child going through so many struggles. We feel helpless and want to "fix it" for them but we know better.

Have you looked into NAMI for her as well as you? For parents and caretakers of a child, even an adult child with mental health issues, NAMI can be full of support too.

https://nami.org

[Anonymous 1]

Is she on antidepressants? If not, she should be. They do work. But it may take a while to find the right one for her.

She’s tried a couple to no avail and swore them off because she wholeheartedly believes they don’t actually work and any results from them are due to the placebo effect.

[Anonymous 1]

I feel your pain and your teen's. This was an issue that we struggled with for years in our house. I remember my dd complaining every time she left her therapist. She repeatedly said, "I don't know why you waste your money on this. I'm not getting anything out of it." And then, we tried a different therapist. And we tried yet another therapist. (I swear we tried at least 4 different ones before we found one that seemed to be a good fit for her.) But even when we did find that good fit, my dd frequently said, "This is a waste of time and money."

Somewhere in between trying those different therapists, she also started taking anxiety medicine. She continued to go to that good-fit therapist for at least 1.5 years. Then, she stopped going....because she was better. Four months passed, and she came to me and said, "I think I need to go back to the therapist. I never realized how much better I was feeling...UNTIL I STOPPED GOING." (The point is: They may be getting more out of the therapy than what they or even you realize.)

Consider trying a different therapist. Seek out recommendations from your friends who may also have children in therapy. The right fit matters. Good luck to you.

My teen suffers from depression and anxiety. She is home from college now because of the virus, so it helps to keep an eye on her, but I don’t know what to do. She has been dealing with it for a long time and hasn’t gotten better, and it’s really affecting her in all areas of her life. We’ve tried therapy and that didn’t help. She felt it was completely useless and honestly nothing came of it except thousands of dollars I spent on it. Which would be ok if it was actually helping. I’m just at a loss and don’t want to continue seeing her suffer.

Thank you for your advice. She’s tried a few therapists with no luck. She thinks they are all useless and a waste of time and money. She doesn’t believe the currently available treatment for depression actually works based on these failed attempts for therapy and medication.

It is especially hard right now since she can’t meet with a therapist in person, plus money has been tight and therapy is incredibly expensive where we live.

[Anonymous 1]

Maybe sit down and ask her what it is she wants and expects from therapy?

Does she want a cure-all? A "fix" to her problems and for it all to go away? Or does she just want to be able to talk out things with another person who will be honest and objective....things she doesn't feel comfortable saying to you or others?

If she's interested in other forms of therapy, check your local area to see if there's art or music therapies. If there is, maybe this will interest her.

She wants to not feel the way she does anymore. So I guess a fix to the problems which obviously won’t happen overnight, but this all has been going on for some time.

I'm so very sorry for her but also for you as a Mom. As a Mom of a child who struggles with not only mental health issues (depression, anxiety, PTSD, and also an eating disorder; she is getting help for all but it took her a while to want to, too) but physical ones, it hurts US too as we watch our child going through so many struggles. We feel helpless and want to "fix it" for them but we know better.

Have you looked into NAMI for her as well as you? For parents and caretakers of a child, even an adult child with mental health issues, NAMI can be full of support too.

https://nami.org

Thanks for your input. It has been very difficult, especially now that she is cooped up in the house all the time and has no way of coping. It is so hard to see her suffer, I had hoped that by now she’d be better but it honestly just seems to be getting worse.

[Deleted User 670]

Is she on antidepressants? If not, she should be. They do work. But it may take a while to find the right one for her.

She’s tried a couple to no avail and swore them off because she wholeheartedly believes they don’t actually work and any results from them are due to the placebo effect.

Someone needs to convince her that she's wrong. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right one. Has she had a physical work up and full blood work to check for hypothyroidism; for deficiencies in iron, magnesium, zinc, iodine, selenium, b vitamins, folate, vitamin d, essential fatty acids? Because being hypothyroid and/or deficient in these nutrients can cause depression too. Another thing that can cause depression is intractable insomnia. I'm prone to depression. My trigger is lack of restorative sleep. If I go through a spate of very poor sleep, I will start to develop depression. I take a low dose of elavil (a tricyclic antidepressant that works on keeping serotonin circulating in the brain) to help me sleep and stay asleep at night. It keeps the depression away. I have spinal stenosis and the pain usually keeps me from sleeping well at night.

Since she suffers from anxiety, there are a couple of supplements that work on anxiety and show promise with depression. Inositol is a b vitamin. Studies have shown that 12 grams a day help with anxiety and can help with depression if taken consistently (ie daily) after 4 weeks. Inositol powder is slightly sweet and easily dissolved in warm liquids.
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/in ... s#section4

The amino acid GABA helps with anxiety too. My daughter takes it nightly to help her sleep and will take it when she's having an anxiety attack. I've taken it for my sciatica when it's unbearable. It helps with nerve pain too. Low levels of this amino acid have been linked to depression and anxiety. Researchers have found GABA to have a positive impact on anxiety.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... efits-gaba

[WickedPissah]

What makes her anxious?

I hear yoga therapy is useful. Not everyone can participate in traditional therapy.

[Deleted User 203]

She wants to not feel the way she does anymore. So I guess a fix to the problems which obviously won’t happen overnight, but this all has been going on for some time.

I'm so very sorry for her but also for you as a Mom. As a Mom of a child who struggles with not only mental health issues (depression, anxiety, PTSD, and also an eating disorder; she is getting help for all but it took her a while to want to, too) but physical ones, it hurts US too as we watch our child going through so many struggles. We feel helpless and want to "fix it" for them but we know better.

Have you looked into NAMI for her as well as you? For parents and caretakers of a child, even an adult child with mental health issues, NAMI can be full of support too.

https://nami.org

Thanks for your input. It has been very difficult, especially now that she is cooped up in the house all the time and has no way of coping. It is so hard to see her suffer, I had hoped that by now she’d be better but it honestly just seems to be getting worse.

You're very, very welcome.

Are there things she can do while cooped up....maybe change up her schedule some how....that might help? Do you think she'd been willing to?

It really is difficult to watch a child suffer and no matter their age.

My heart and prayers go out to both of you. <3

[Vegaswife2011]

I’d try therapy along with medication. Good luck. This can be a long, twisty road.