I told her so, I told her so

[Anonymous 1]

Im just posting on here because I don't want to be a total bitch and say it to her face.

37 year old friend with two kids meet a guy 41 years old - falls in love, he proposes within 6 months of meeting.
She knows little to nothing about him, no real family, no friends, claims no past wives or children.

Marry he moves into her rental with her and her kids, quickly impregnates her twice in two years.
Now she's 40 with 2 babies and 2 tweens. in a two bedroom rental.

She talks to me like they are on track to buy a house - they are house shopping, they are mortgage shopping.
Push comes to shove, he can't get a mortgage - she doesn't tell me details. She gets the mortgage in her name after a hefty DP from her parents.

I said listen, you've invested a lot in this this guy in 3 years, maybe you need to find out more about him.
no no no he's awesome.

He now wants to adopt her two older children, even though their father is still semi in the picture (doesn't live close, not a good visitor, but pays child support without fail).

I tell her its a mistake, she tells me she knows what she's doing.

She is now 43 years old, mortgage, 4 kids , all either naturally or through adoption with this guy - and he leaves. disappears into the night. She files a missing person report, they locate him, he's not in any harm but they can't tell her where he is, but only that he's confirmed okay.

She can't afford her mortgage , she can't afford her bills, she has zero child support now, and no hope of getting any , anytime soon (legal system works slow).

She claims she has no idea what happened he was there they were happy and he's gone the next.

Six years she was with this man and went all in with him despite all the red flags popping up over and over and over.

I'm being supportive, because that's what she needs but dang girl.. I TOLD YOU SO

[Baconqueen13]

[Bubbs]

Love is notoriously blind, deaf and dumb
She was buying whatever picture he painted
It sucks, but she’ll eventually figure it all out.

[Anonymous 2]

I can't stand people with that whole "told you so" mentality.
Get the f**k over yourself, friend!

[Anonymous 1]

I can't stand people with that whole "told you so" mentality.
Get the f**k over yourself, friend!

Its not a matter of me being right, but listening to hours of her saying "how was I supposed to know, why does this happen to me"
because you choose it to happen to you! but I dont say that, I rub her back and tell her Im sorry its happening to her.

even tho I told her so!

[Anonymous 2]

I can't stand people with that whole "told you so" mentality.
Get the f**k over yourself, friend!

Its not a matter of me being right, but listening to hours of her saying "how was I supposed to know, why does this happen to me"
because you choose it to happen to you! but I dont say that, I rub her back and tell her Im sorry its happening to her.

even tho I told her so!

Great friend

[Bubbs]

I can't stand people with that whole "told you so" mentality.
Get the f**k over yourself, friend!

Its not a matter of me being right, but listening to hours of her saying "how was I supposed to know, why does this happen to me"
because you choose it to happen to you! but I dont say that, I rub her back and tell her Im sorry its happening to her.

even tho I told her so!

That’s what friends do. My friends who saw things I was willfully blind to, helped me while believing that if I would have listened it wouldn’t have happened
And still listen while I’m still paying off debt

[LiveWhatULove]

I see how that would be frustrating.

But according to plenty of people on these boards, plenty of men walk away or marriages end, even when their wives know everything about them.

Hope she gets it figured out!

[Deleted User 172]

Eh. We all need an "i told you so" friend.
Too bad you can't grab them by the shoulders and scream in their face "look here hoe, i love you, that guy is just using you, dump him"
One of my good friends is going thru a shithole man right now. Kills me because she's my super fun "single" friend. I hate seeing her stressing about him.

I get it. We can see clearly from the outside looking in.

[Anonymous 3]

Marriages go bad all.the time. They could have been together 10 years before getting married and he still could have turned out to be a dick.

I met my husband in December had a baby in November and got married the nex May. We've been together 15 years.