What would you do if this was your child and nanny?

[That'swhatshesaid]

I fired the nanny because she brought a sick child to pick my child up from preschool, brought the same sick child (that I had never met, no idea who the parents were etc) to my home, and took my son to the mystery sick child’s house to drop her off before I got home from work thinking I would never be the wiser. My son was absolutely right to tell her she was violating the rules and I absolutely fired her for it. What would you have done?

And before you ask, she was my full-time nanny with guaranteed hours, paid time-off, benefits, driving a vehicle that I provided, using my credit card, and getting paid $30 an hour.

I wasn't going to ask because I don't give a shit what you pay your nanny. I'm talking about your snotty ass attitude that it's okay and normal for a child to tell nannies and housekeepers that they will have them fired.

I never said it was ok, but I can’t believe you think it’s surprising. Let’s change the context to a family business where mom and dad hire people and children are often present. You don’t think those children tell mom and dad “Jane didn’t charge her friend for ice cream,” or “Joe was sleeping in the back room when he was supposed to be out front.” Being realistic doesn’t make me an asshole.

That's not even remotely the same and you know it. A child telling someone they will be fired is bratty disrespectful behavior and if you think that's okay, yes you are an asshole.

[Anonymous 6]

Reading through these responses, I’m pretty sure that most of you have never had household staff like a nanny or housekeeper / child driver around your kids. I don’t know a single child, no matter how polite or well behaved, that is around a person that his parents pay to take care of him, drive him, wash his clothes, etc that hasn’t at least provided an argument to his parents about why that person should be fired. And I have in fact fired a nanny after ODS said to her, “I’m telling my mom about this and she’s going to fire you.”

You’re all getting too caught up in the words a 6 year used to tell this woman that he thinks she should be fired, and you’re all jumping all over a 6 year old because of your own internal biases.

I've hired babysitters. My kids have never given them one bit of trouble or said I should fire them. Family members yes. My kids have on rare occasions, disrespected my mother or father. But caretakers, no. Maybe if you're raising a brat then they might try to say who you should fire. That's the point where I'd make clear that's my call not theirs. And yes the kid was a brat to that nanny and needs to be told in no uncertain terms that what that nanny says goes. Otherwise how could she ever control the child? He or she would run wild.

A casual babysitter is different than a nanny. The nanny is taking care of the child on a far more regular basis, and is also responsible for taking children outside of your home. Children do have plenty of legitimate gripes about nannies, and although they don’t necessarily rise to the parent’s threshold for disciplinary action I get why the kids are annoyed. For some examples:

Child always arrives 10 minutes late to activities and nanny always “forgets” to dress child properly and bring appropriate sports equipment.

Nanny never includes child’s favorite outfit in children’s laundry.

Although family has gotten family plus nanny memberships at multiple local attractions, nanny never brings child to any of them.

This one is completely on point - mom instructs nanny to always allow child to choose an ice cream at a particular park unless child misbehaves. Nanny regularly doesn’t buy ice cream for child at the park no matter how well the child behaves.

These are all real life discussions I have had with friends.

[Anonymous 6]

I wasn't going to ask because I don't give a shit what you pay your nanny. I'm talking about your snotty ass attitude that it's okay and normal for a child to tell nannies and housekeepers that they will have them fired.

I never said it was ok, but I can’t believe you think it’s surprising. Let’s change the context to a family business where mom and dad hire people and children are often present. You don’t think those children tell mom and dad “Jane didn’t charge her friend for ice cream,” or “Joe was sleeping in the back room when he was supposed to be out front.” Being realistic doesn’t make me an asshole.

It's not the same. That kid wanted ice cream and when the nanny said no he threatened to tell his parents and have her fired. He tried to undermine her authority. If I was the nanny I'd say number one slavery ended 150 years ago and 2 if you think that's getting you ice cream its not. In fact I'll tell your parents myself about today's incident. It's not the same as a business where a child has a legitimate complaint about an employee. This is about a kid trying to get his own way. The nanny needs to shut that down, presuming she's doing as instructed.

Read my recent response to you. Yes, the kid was probably just throwing a fit and the parents should address it. His poor word choice is likely because he’s 6. But telling on your nanny when you think she isn’t doing her job is no different than telling on anyone else your parents employ for not doing their job.

[Pjmm]

Reading through these responses, I’m pretty sure that most of you have never had household staff like a nanny or housekeeper / child driver around your kids. I don’t know a single child, no matter how polite or well behaved, that is around a person that his parents pay to take care of him, drive him, wash his clothes, etc that hasn’t at least provided an argument to his parents about why that person should be fired. And I have in fact fired a nanny after ODS said to her, “I’m telling my mom about this and she’s going to fire you.”

You’re all getting too caught up in the words a 6 year used to tell this woman that he thinks she should be fired, and you’re all jumping all over a 6 year old because of your own internal biases.

I've hired babysitters. My kids have never given them one bit of trouble or said I should fire them. Family members yes. My kids have on rare occasions, disrespected my mother or father. But caretakers, no. Maybe if you're raising a brat then they might try to say who you should fire. That's the point where I'd make clear that's my call not theirs. And yes the kid was a brat to that nanny and needs to be told in no uncertain terms that what that nanny says goes. Otherwise how could she ever control the child? He or she would run wild.

A casual babysitter is different than a nanny. The nanny is taking care of the child on a far more regular basis, and is also responsible for taking children outside of your home. Children do have plenty of legitimate gripes about nannies, and although they don’t necessarily rise to the parent’s threshold for disciplinary action I get why the kids are annoyed. For some examples:

Child always arrives 10 minutes late to activities and nanny always “forgets” to dress child properly and bring appropriate sports equipment.

Nanny never includes child’s favorite outfit in children’s laundry.

Although family has gotten family plus nanny memberships at multiple local attractions, nanny never brings child to any of them.

This one is completely on point - mom instructs nanny to always allow child to choose an ice cream at a particular park unless child misbehaves. Nanny regularly doesn’t buy ice cream for child at the park no matter how well the child behaves.

These are all real life discussions I have had with friends.

Even so the child spoke to that nanny inappropriately. It's not his call to threaten her or to say my parents own you. Idc if the nanny is from Mars you don't speak to anyone that way. Why? Because it's extremely rude. My kids had gripes about their babysitters or friends of mine who did indeed take them places. And they didn't mouth off. Instead they came to me and said their piece. Sometimes they're right and i acknowledged it. Sometimes they were wrong. It's one thing to have a legitimate complaint but don't be a turd knocker about it.

[Anonymous 6]

I wasn't going to ask because I don't give a shit what you pay your nanny. I'm talking about your snotty ass attitude that it's okay and normal for a child to tell nannies and housekeepers that they will have them fired.

I never said it was ok, but I can’t believe you think it’s surprising. Let’s change the context to a family business where mom and dad hire people and children are often present. You don’t think those children tell mom and dad “Jane didn’t charge her friend for ice cream,” or “Joe was sleeping in the back room when he was supposed to be out front.” Being realistic doesn’t make me an asshole.

That's not even remotely the same and you know it. A child telling someone they will be fired is bratty disrespectful behavior and if you think that's okay, yes you are an asshole.

Once again, I never said I thought it was ok, and I don’t think it’s normal for a child to directly tell someone she’s going to be fired. What I absolutely think is normal is telling your parents to fire the nanny. And because I pretty much know it’s normal to tell your parents to fire the nanny, I’m not surprised some kid tried to tell his nanny she was fired. And I’m pretty sure the nanny completely overreacted based on this post. It wasn’t racially motivated and she addressed the child as though it was.

[Anonymous 8]

Reading through these responses, I’m pretty sure that most of you have never had household staff like a nanny or housekeeper / child driver around your kids. I don’t know a single child, no matter how polite or well behaved, that is around a person that his parents pay to take care of him, drive him, wash his clothes, etc that hasn’t at least provided an argument to his parents about why that person should be fired. And I have in fact fired a nanny after ODS said to her, “I’m telling my mom about this and she’s going to fire you.”

You’re all getting too caught up in the words a 6 year used to tell this woman that he thinks she should be fired, and you’re all jumping all over a 6 year old because of your own internal biases.

I have never had this said to me in any form in the 25 years i have been a Nanny.. to me it's a huge reflection on how the parents talk about their hired help

I didn’t say that every child said it to the service provider, what I said is that they pretty much all at some point try to get the person fired. In this instance the child was wrong, but he’s 6, not 10, so it sounds like the nanny’s reaction was wrong too.

Nope ive never had a child plead it's case to have me fired. Again I'll say it says a lot about how the parents talk about and treat their hired help

[Anonymous 6]

I've hired babysitters. My kids have never given them one bit of trouble or said I should fire them. Family members yes. My kids have on rare occasions, disrespected my mother or father. But caretakers, no. Maybe if you're raising a brat then they might try to say who you should fire. That's the point where I'd make clear that's my call not theirs. And yes the kid was a brat to that nanny and needs to be told in no uncertain terms that what that nanny says goes. Otherwise how could she ever control the child? He or she would run wild.

A casual babysitter is different than a nanny. The nanny is taking care of the child on a far more regular basis, and is also responsible for taking children outside of your home. Children do have plenty of legitimate gripes about nannies, and although they don’t necessarily rise to the parent’s threshold for disciplinary action I get why the kids are annoyed. For some examples:

Child always arrives 10 minutes late to activities and nanny always “forgets” to dress child properly and bring appropriate sports equipment.

Nanny never includes child’s favorite outfit in children’s laundry.

Although family has gotten family plus nanny memberships at multiple local attractions, nanny never brings child to any of them.

This one is completely on point - mom instructs nanny to always allow child to choose an ice cream at a particular park unless child misbehaves. Nanny regularly doesn’t buy ice cream for child at the park no matter how well the child behaves.

These are all real life discussions I have had with friends.

Even so the child spoke to that nanny inappropriately. It's not his call to threaten her or to say my parents own you. Idc if the nanny is from Mars you don't speak to anyone that way. Why? Because it's extremely rude. My kids had gripes about their babysitters or friends of mine who did indeed take them places. And they didn't mouth off. Instead they came to me and said their piece. Sometimes they're right and i acknowledged it. Sometimes they were wrong. It's one thing to have a legitimate complaint but don't be a turd knocker about it.

My initial response wasn’t at all about how I would handle the child’s behavior. It was about the outrage towards a 6 year old’s behavior, and the child bashing commentary that I was seeing. Six year olds aren’t known for their impulse control....he was wrong, but if the nanny responded with hurt, anger, inappropriate discipline - which it sounds like she did - this was more her issue than his. He’s six for the love of God.

[Anonymous 8]

Reading through these responses, I’m pretty sure that most of you have never had household staff like a nanny or housekeeper / child driver around your kids. I don’t know a single child, no matter how polite or well behaved, that is around a person that his parents pay to take care of him, drive him, wash his clothes, etc that hasn’t at least provided an argument to his parents about why that person should be fired. And I have in fact fired a nanny after ODS said to her, “I’m telling my mom about this and she’s going to fire you.”

You’re all getting too caught up in the words a 6 year used to tell this woman that he thinks she should be fired, and you’re all jumping all over a 6 year old because of your own internal biases.

I've hired babysitters. My kids have never given them one bit of trouble or said I should fire them. Family members yes. My kids have on rare occasions, disrespected my mother or father. But caretakers, no. Maybe if you're raising a brat then they might try to say who you should fire. That's the point where I'd make clear that's my call not theirs. And yes the kid was a brat to that nanny and needs to be told in no uncertain terms that what that nanny says goes. Otherwise how could she ever control the child? He or she would run wild.

A casual babysitter is different than a nanny. The nanny is taking care of the child on a far more regular basis, and is also responsible for taking children outside of your home. Children do have plenty of legitimate gripes about nannies, and although they don’t necessarily rise to the parent’s threshold for disciplinary action I get why the kids are annoyed. For some examples:

Child always arrives 10 minutes late to activities and nanny always “forgets” to dress child properly and bring appropriate sports equipment.

Nanny never includes child’s favorite outfit in children’s laundry.

Although family has gotten family plus nanny memberships at multiple local attractions, nanny never brings child to any of them.

This one is completely on point - mom instructs nanny to always allow child to choose an ice cream at a particular park unless child misbehaves. Nanny regularly doesn’t buy ice cream for child at the park no matter how well the child behaves.

These are all real life discussions I have had with friends.

In this case no where did it say nanny was instructed to ALWAYS allow the child to choose an ice cream. So no it is NOT even close to the same. Did you even read the screenshots on page 3? The kid said "you have to do whatever i say because my parents own you" 6 years old or not he should know better than to disrespect an adult like that.

[Anonymous 6]

I've hired babysitters. My kids have never given them one bit of trouble or said I should fire them. Family members yes. My kids have on rare occasions, disrespected my mother or father. But caretakers, no. Maybe if you're raising a brat then they might try to say who you should fire. That's the point where I'd make clear that's my call not theirs. And yes the kid was a brat to that nanny and needs to be told in no uncertain terms that what that nanny says goes. Otherwise how could she ever control the child? He or she would run wild.

A casual babysitter is different than a nanny. The nanny is taking care of the child on a far more regular basis, and is also responsible for taking children outside of your home. Children do have plenty of legitimate gripes about nannies, and although they don’t necessarily rise to the parent’s threshold for disciplinary action I get why the kids are annoyed. For some examples:

Child always arrives 10 minutes late to activities and nanny always “forgets” to dress child properly and bring appropriate sports equipment.

Nanny never includes child’s favorite outfit in children’s laundry.

Although family has gotten family plus nanny memberships at multiple local attractions, nanny never brings child to any of them.

This one is completely on point - mom instructs nanny to always allow child to choose an ice cream at a particular park unless child misbehaves. Nanny regularly doesn’t buy ice cream for child at the park no matter how well the child behaves.

These are all real life discussions I have had with friends.

In this case no where did it say nanny was instructed to ALWAYS allow the child to choose an ice cream. So no it is NOT even close to the same. Did you even read the screenshots on page 3? The kid said "you have to do whatever i say because my parents own you" 6 years old or not he should know better than to disrespect an adult like that.

have your children never disrespected an adult, including you? My children are generally very good kids, but they certainly aren’t perfect and they’ve even *GASP* disrespected me.

[Anonymous 8]

A casual babysitter is different than a nanny. The nanny is taking care of the child on a far more regular basis, and is also responsible for taking children outside of your home. Children do have plenty of legitimate gripes about nannies, and although they don’t necessarily rise to the parent’s threshold for disciplinary action I get why the kids are annoyed. For some examples:

Child always arrives 10 minutes late to activities and nanny always “forgets” to dress child properly and bring appropriate sports equipment.

Nanny never includes child’s favorite outfit in children’s laundry.

Although family has gotten family plus nanny memberships at multiple local attractions, nanny never brings child to any of them.

This one is completely on point - mom instructs nanny to always allow child to choose an ice cream at a particular park unless child misbehaves. Nanny regularly doesn’t buy ice cream for child at the park no matter how well the child behaves.

These are all real life discussions I have had with friends.

In this case no where did it say nanny was instructed to ALWAYS allow the child to choose an ice cream. So no it is NOT even close to the same. Did you even read the screenshots on page 3? The kid said "you have to do whatever i say because my parents own you" 6 years old or not he should know better than to disrespect an adult like that.

have your children never disrespected an adult, including you? My children are generally very good kids, but they certainly aren’t perfect and they’ve even *GASP* disrespected me.

My children have NEVER disrespected an adult in this way. They may have an attitude or huff and puff and even back talk a bit every once in a blue moon but they would NEVER tell someone we employed that we own them and that have to do exactly what they say or they will have them fired. Absolutely not. That is NOT something a normal child does or says.