Pretend you love your husband.

[Anonymous 11]

I'm sure there are other reasons for doing it. But the 2 women that I know of that have joint accounts with their husbands don't trust their husbands. And both women are also very controlling women.

You can easily tell which ladies in this post are doormats that stayed with cheating husbands. I bet they all have joint Facebook accounts too. Lol

My dh and I have joint facebooks accounts but u would never stay with my dh if he cheated nor would I ever cheat on him. And if I were stupid enough to do it I would expect him to leave me.

LOL, what in world? why would 2 people have one facebook account?

[Momto2boys973]

Way to jump into dumb conclusions. Who said anything about STDs? First, cheating doesn’t necessarily mean unprotected S*x, in fact, it’s usually the opposite. It many men want to be caught by the mistress showing up pregnant at their home and demanding child support. Second, why would giving your marriage a chance mean risking anything? If you learn your partner cheated, you can stop all sexual activity until he’s been tested. And even after that, it should be known by both parts that sexual activity is something that cannot be resumed normally right away. So until you become aware of the cheating, you would have the same risk whether you forgive the guy or not. But once you learn about it, you can protect yourself.
Seriously, it’s not much different than casual dating. With someone who cheated you’re exposed to the same risk as someone you date and have S*x with without knowing his full history.

Come on, find a better reason to call people who work on their marriages after an infidelity stupid. Because I’m pretty sure that most women here who would throw the guy out, or cut his weenie, or cheat on him as a payback or even have the attitude of thinking that person can never change do it because OMG, he must have syphilis! I’m sure that’s way in the back of their minds behind the hurt, the anger and the sense of betrayal.

You are the only person I have ever seen say that risking an STD is intelligent. It's clear you don't know what that means.

Yes, I do.
Because what’s definitely not a sign of smarts is making blatant generalizations and making impulsive, emotional choices out of anger and frustration.
I’m sorry, but by not acknowledging that each situation is unique and therefore there’s no universal right or wrong answer, you’re not being an example of intelligence, but rather an example of being ruled by your emotions and being reactionary. Of acting without thinking, which is the opposite of intelligence...

I answered for me personally.

You really think all of those things are intelligent?

[Anonymous 6]

I did. Did you not even read what you responded to?

Every time you have S*x with someone new you risk an STD. Condoms don't even protect against all STDs so even if it was used there is a risk of an STD. There is also the risk of pregnancy even if protection is used.

Testing can take awhile. Things like HPV, HIV, herpes, and some other "not as bad" ones can lay dormant for months to years. So someone can show negative on tests and still get the STD at a later date. Also there is no way to 100% protect yourself as we already went over.

The fact is that someone who cheats is risking bringing an STD into the marriage. So someone who stays in a marriage with a cheater is risking an STD.

Yes dating and having S*x with someone without knowing their history is also risking getting an STD.

Way to jump into dumb conclusions. Who said anything about STDs? First, cheating doesn’t necessarily mean unprotected S*x, in fact, it’s usually the opposite. It many men want to be caught by the mistress showing up pregnant at their home and demanding child support. Second, why would giving your marriage a chance mean risking anything? If you learn your partner cheated, you can stop all sexual activity until he’s been tested. And even after that, it should be known by both parts that sexual activity is something that cannot be resumed normally right away. So until you become aware of the cheating, you would have the same risk whether you forgive the guy or not. But once you learn about it, you can protect yourself.
Seriously, it’s not much different than casual dating. With someone who cheated you’re exposed to the same risk as someone you date and have S*x with without knowing his full history.

Come on, find a better reason to call people who work on their marriages after an infidelity stupid. Because I’m pretty sure that most women here who would throw the guy out, or cut his weenie, or cheat on him as a payback or even have the attitude of thinking that person can never change do it because OMG, he must have syphilis! I’m sure that’s way in the back of their minds behind the hurt, the anger and the sense of betrayal.

You are the only person I have ever seen say that risking an STD is intelligent. It's clear you don't know what that means.

Yes, I do.
Because what’s definitely not a sign of smarts is making blatant generalizations and making impulsive, emotional choices out of anger and frustration.
I’m sorry, but by not acknowledging that each situation is unique and therefore there’s no universal right or wrong answer, you’re not being an example of intelligence, but rather an example of being ruled by your emotions and being reactionary. Of acting without thinking, which is the opposite of intelligence...

[jas]

Way to jump into dumb conclusions. Who said anything about STDs? First, cheating doesn’t necessarily mean unprotected S*x, in fact, it’s usually the opposite. It many men want to be caught by the mistress showing up pregnant at their home and demanding child support. Second, why would giving your marriage a chance mean risking anything? If you learn your partner cheated, you can stop all sexual activity until he’s been tested. And even after that, it should be known by both parts that sexual activity is something that cannot be resumed normally right away. So until you become aware of the cheating, you would have the same risk whether you forgive the guy or not. But once you learn about it, you can protect yourself.
Seriously, it’s not much different than casual dating. With someone who cheated you’re exposed to the same risk as someone you date and have S*x with without knowing his full history.

Come on, find a better reason to call people who work on their marriages after an infidelity stupid. Because I’m pretty sure that most women here who would throw the guy out, or cut his weenie, or cheat on him as a payback or even have the attitude of thinking that person can never change do it because OMG, he must have syphilis! I’m sure that’s way in the back of their minds behind the hurt, the anger and the sense of betrayal.

You are the only person I have ever seen say that risking an STD is intelligent. It's clear you don't know what that means.

Yes, I do.
Because what’s definitely not a sign of smarts is making blatant generalizations and making impulsive, emotional choices out of anger and frustration.
I’m sorry, but by not acknowledging that each situation is unique and therefore there’s no universal right or wrong answer, you’re not being an example of intelligence, but rather an example of being ruled by your emotions and being reactionary. Of acting without thinking, which is the opposite of intelligence...

You would have better luck nailing jello to a tree than trying to show how wrong anon 6 is. Some people are so fixated on their own views they can't see what's in front of them.

[Momto2boys973]

Yes, every time you have S*x you take a risk. However, choosing to work on your marriage after an infidelity doesn’t mean you’re taking a bigger risk. You can be happily ignorant of your partner’s infidelity and therefore at risk as well. Your argument that people who choose to work on their relationship aren’t intelligent because they’re risking STDs is pretty weak. By that “logic” anyone who can’t be 100% sure that their partner is faithful is taking that risk. So pretty much every person in a relationship that involves S*x is taking that risk. The only way not to take that risk is to be abstinent. A person who chooses to work on a relationship after cheating isn’t more at risk that any person who can’t guarantee 100% that their partner is faithful. In fact, that person may even be LESS at risk.

You also seem to have the misconception that choosing to work on your marriage after an infidelity means just forgetting about it, pretending it didn’t happen and just go back to a normal married life in a couple of days, including having S*x. That’s not what choosing to save your marriage means. It can take months, even years of constant work from both parts. It takes serious commitment from both parties and it certainly doesn’t work by making the infidelity the elephant in the room.

I did. Did you not even read what you responded to?

Every time you have S*x with someone new you risk an STD. Condoms don't even protect against all STDs so even if it was used there is a risk of an STD. There is also the risk of pregnancy even if protection is used.

Testing can take awhile. Things like HPV, HIV, herpes, and some other "not as bad" ones can lay dormant for months to years. So someone can show negative on tests and still get the STD at a later date. Also there is no way to 100% protect yourself as we already went over.

The fact is that someone who cheats is risking bringing an STD into the marriage. So someone who stays in a marriage with a cheater is risking an STD.

Yes dating and having S*x with someone without knowing their history is also risking getting an STD.

Way to jump into dumb conclusions. Who said anything about STDs? First, cheating doesn’t necessarily mean unprotected S*x, in fact, it’s usually the opposite. It many men want to be caught by the mistress showing up pregnant at their home and demanding child support. Second, why would giving your marriage a chance mean risking anything? If you learn your partner cheated, you can stop all sexual activity until he’s been tested. And even after that, it should be known by both parts that sexual activity is something that cannot be resumed normally right away. So until you become aware of the cheating, you would have the same risk whether you forgive the guy or not. But once you learn about it, you can protect yourself.
Seriously, it’s not much different than casual dating. With someone who cheated you’re exposed to the same risk as someone you date and have S*x with without knowing his full history.

Come on, find a better reason to call people who work on their marriages after an infidelity stupid. Because I’m pretty sure that most women here who would throw the guy out, or cut his weenie, or cheat on him as a payback or even have the attitude of thinking that person can never change do it because OMG, he must have syphilis! I’m sure that’s way in the back of their minds behind the hurt, the anger and the sense of betrayal.

You are the only person I have ever seen say that risking an STD is intelligent. It's clear you don't know what that means.

[Anonymous 12]

Way to jump into dumb conclusions. Who said anything about STDs? First, cheating doesn’t necessarily mean unprotected S*x, in fact, it’s usually the opposite. It many men want to be caught by the mistress showing up pregnant at their home and demanding child support. Second, why would giving your marriage a chance mean risking anything? If you learn your partner cheated, you can stop all sexual activity until he’s been tested. And even after that, it should be known by both parts that sexual activity is something that cannot be resumed normally right away. So until you become aware of the cheating, you would have the same risk whether you forgive the guy or not. But once you learn about it, you can protect yourself.
Seriously, it’s not much different than casual dating. With someone who cheated you’re exposed to the same risk as someone you date and have S*x with without knowing his full history.

Come on, find a better reason to call people who work on their marriages after an infidelity stupid. Because I’m pretty sure that most women here who would throw the guy out, or cut his weenie, or cheat on him as a payback or even have the attitude of thinking that person can never change do it because OMG, he must have syphilis! I’m sure that’s way in the back of their minds behind the hurt, the anger and the sense of betrayal.

You are the only person I have ever seen say that risking an STD is intelligent. It's clear you don't know what that means.

You would have better luck nailing jello to a tree than trying to show how wrong anon 6 is. Some people are so fixated on their own views they can't see what's in front of them.

[CherryTreez]

I love my husband. It's not in him to cheat, but if he did, I would be done. He knows this. I would never be able to let him touch me again. We were each other's firsts. I would never be able to trust him again in the way needed for marriage to work.

I would divorce and try to be the best co parents that we could be. I wouldn't trash talk about him to the kids. I just couldn't be with him again. He knows this. We talked about it before we started dating.

[Anonymous 13]

Yes, I do.
Because what’s definitely not a sign of smarts is making blatant generalizations and making impulsive, emotional choices out of anger and frustration.
I’m sorry, but by not acknowledging that each situation is unique and therefore there’s no universal right or wrong answer, you’re not being an example of intelligence, but rather an example of being ruled by your emotions and being reactionary. Of acting without thinking, which is the opposite of intelligence...

I answered for me personally.

You really think all of those things are intelligent?

That is so not true. Very few things are so in our “core” that we can’t work on them. Your attitude is very fatalist in any terms of personal growth. I certainly am 100% different than I was 10, 20 years ago. Some character traits stay with me because I like those about me, so no reason to change those. But others I have worked on and better myself. Same goes for my husband, we have grown together.
The head rabbi of one of our communities here was a total party boy in his youth. He speaks openly about it. But he started studying Judaism, loved it, became an Orthodox rabbi and I’m sure he’s now not even the shadow of the guy he was back then. He may still have some character traits that he’s always had, like being fun loving and having a good time, but he now channels that differently. Being a party boy wasn’t in his “core” just as cheating isn’t in someone’s “core”. Some people may love cheating, the adrenaline rush, the excitement of something new, but then what’s in their core is that need for excitement and novelty, not the cheating itself. It can be redirected to something else. Cheating is an action, not an attitude, it can definitely be controlled if someone really wants to.

In other words, a Democrat

[Valentina327]

You can easily tell which ladies in this post are doormats that stayed with cheating husbands. I bet they all have joint Facebook accounts too. Lol

LOL...what does a joint Facebook account have to do with cheating?

Because that's how she's able to keep a tight leash on him and who he's allowed to talk to and what pictures he's allowed to like, etc. When she doesn't trust him, it's joint emails and joint social media so she has direct access.

[LiveWhatULove]

You can easily tell which ladies in this post are doormats that stayed with cheating husbands. I bet they all have joint Facebook accounts too. Lol

LOL...what does a joint Facebook account have to do with cheating?

Because that's how she's able to keep a tight leash on him and who he's allowed to talk to and what pictures he's allowed to like, etc. When she doesn't trust him, it's joint emails and joint social media so she has direct access.

I mean, I guess whatever floats their boat, there's a lot of social media to cover besides Facebook, LOL, and a lot of places to meet people outside of social media.