We were invited again

[Anonymous 4]

I already said it could be considered rude. but what she said was DEFINITELY rude! i mean of course he will need to eat! he's not going to sit in another room while we eat or sit at the kitchen table and just watch us eat! that's why i know what she said was on purpose and passive aggressive. what I did (inviting nephew) was not on purpose to be rude and passive aggressive. didn't think it would be a big deal. i'm sure she knew it WOULD be a big deal to say do we have to feed him. and we brought leftovers for him to eat since she said that so she didn't have to do one extra thing for him to be there.

okay, sure, it could be considered rude as well that i said we would have my nephew with us because he needed a ride to his dad's house and she lives near his dad but his dad would not be home for a few hours so my nephew would be with us. my inlaws tell us when they are coming for christmas day..they never ask what time they should be there..they tell us. i consider that to be rude and i don't like it, but do i say a rude comment to them about it? No! I complain to my DH about it, he does and says nothing and we go on about our merry way and treat his parents nicely and with respect. Just because someone does something that you (in general, not you specifically) thinks is rude doesn't equal a rude response back. My nephew is a kid that needed a ride and it's the holidays...she didn't need to act the way she did about it.

Doesnt mean it wasnt rude to bring an uninvited guest to someone else's house. Your nephew is your family. Not Sils family. If you want to put up with extremely rude behavior from your in laws then feel free to hang yourself from that cross and be the martyr. But it doesn't make SIL a bitch or anyrhing else by not accepting that same behavior from you.

If you want to attend the dinner then inform your sister way ahead of time that once again you are having your nephew as a guest and ask her permission to have him at HER house

What you did was rude and on purpose. How do.you accidently invite someone else to someone elses house? How do you do that on.accident? You did it on purpose and then she inquired if she needed to feed him...Thats good info to know so.she can make adjustments. For all she knew his dad would be picking him up before he ate. You packing up leftovers was PA also

[Anonymous 1]

Do you think she responded like an adult? No. She responded like a spoiled brat. My kids are more mature than she is! Sometimes it IS possible to hold your tongue. According to some on here I should tell her off. I have held my tongue and not done that. She could have done the same. She didn't need to say do we have to feed him. She just wanted to be passive aggressive and bitchy. She did that on purpose. Me having my nephew with me at the last minute was not on purpose to hurt SIL in any way...it was an emergency type thing and it was a freaking holiday.

But I don't feel comfortable asking her from the way she responded last time so not sure what we will do.

I would ask if it's okay, as you should have done in the first place, and decide based on her answer.

The way she responded last time was because you didn't ask. If you aren't going to act like an adult and ask, then you only have one real choice, don't go.

[Anonymous 1]

I did nothing rude or on purpose. We were asked 2 days prior if we could take him with us by his mom so that he could see his dad. I was doing a favor to him and his mom and to my brother. It had nothing to do with SIL to be rude or on purpose. What she said was rude and on purpose.

I already said it could be considered rude. but what she said was DEFINITELY rude! i mean of course he will need to eat! he's not going to sit in another room while we eat or sit at the kitchen table and just watch us eat! that's why i know what she said was on purpose and passive aggressive. what I did (inviting nephew) was not on purpose to be rude and passive aggressive. didn't think it would be a big deal. i'm sure she knew it WOULD be a big deal to say do we have to feed him. and we brought leftovers for him to eat since she said that so she didn't have to do one extra thing for him to be there.

Doesnt mean it wasnt rude to bring an uninvited guest to someone else's house. Your nephew is your family. Not Sils family. If you want to put up with extremely rude behavior from your in laws then feel free to hang yourself from that cross and be the martyr. But it doesn't make SIL a bitch or anyrhing else by not accepting that same behavior from you.

If you want to attend the dinner then inform your sister way ahead of time that once again you are having your nephew as a guest and ask her permission to have him at HER house

What you did was rude and on purpose. How do.you accidently invite someone else to someone elses house? How do you do that on.accident? You did it on purpose and then she inquired if she needed to feed him...Thats good info to know so.she can make adjustments. For all she knew his dad would be picking him up before he ate. You packing up leftovers was PA also

[Olioxenfree]

She responded how she did because you were rude in the first place. Yes, two wrongs don't make a right, but calling her rude is just hypocritical. You're also acting like a brat, refusing to acknowledge your part in this. Just because you didn't plan on having him doesn't mean you couldn't ask before bringing him along.

Do you think she responded like an adult? No. She responded like a spoiled brat. My kids are more mature than she is! Sometimes it IS possible to hold your tongue. According to some on here I should tell her off. I have held my tongue and not done that. She could have done the same. She didn't need to say do we have to feed him. She just wanted to be passive aggressive and bitchy. She did that on purpose. Me having my nephew with me at the last minute was not on purpose to hurt SIL in any way...it was an emergency type thing and it was a freaking holiday.

But I don't feel comfortable asking her from the way she responded last time so not sure what we will do.

The way she responded last time was because you didn't ask. If you aren't going to act like an adult and ask, then you only have one real choice, don't go.

[MrsDavidB]

This is so retarded. I read all of your replies.Not only would I not go I wouldn’t even bother with her anymore. Who needs this nonsense?? Stay home and enjoy your family or spend the day somewhere else.

[Anonymous 4]

Do you think she responded like an adult? No. She responded like a spoiled brat. My kids are more mature than she is! Sometimes it IS possible to hold your tongue. According to some on here I should tell her off. I have held my tongue and not done that. She could have done the same. She didn't need to say do we have to feed him. She just wanted to be passive aggressive and bitchy. She did that on purpose. Me having my nephew with me at the last minute was not on purpose to hurt SIL in any way...it was an emergency type thing and it was a freaking holiday.

But I don't feel comfortable asking her from the way she responded last time so not sure what we will do.

The way she responded last time was because you didn't ask. If you aren't going to act like an adult and ask, then you only have one real choice, don't go.

Once again it doesn't matter if it was an "emergency" or a holiday. You don't invite people to other people's homes without their permission. You knew she had an issue wit it and you still did it. You are not blameless in this

[Anonymous 1]

I said it could be considered rude. Not everyone thinks that so that’s why I said it could. How is that not acknowledging my part in it? She obviously thought it was rude. Okay. I didn’t do it on purpose to piss her off. But what she said was on purpose to be rude. Period.

She responded how she did because you were rude in the first place. Yes, two wrongs don't make a right, but calling her rude is just hypocritical. You're also acting like a brat, refusing to acknowledge your part in this. Just because you didn't plan on having him doesn't mean you couldn't ask before bringing him along.

Do you think she responded like an adult? No. She responded like a spoiled brat. My kids are more mature than she is! Sometimes it IS possible to hold your tongue. According to some on here I should tell her off. I have held my tongue and not done that. She could have done the same. She didn't need to say do we have to feed him. She just wanted to be passive aggressive and bitchy. She did that on purpose. Me having my nephew with me at the last minute was not on purpose to hurt SIL in any way...it was an emergency type thing and it was a freaking holiday.

The way she responded last time was because you didn't ask. If you aren't going to act like an adult and ask, then you only have one real choice, don't go.

[Anonymous 1]

So are you thinking by her saying so do we need to feed him that I should have taken that as we should not come with him? Would you have not shown up?

quote="Anonymous 4" post_id=623962 time=1575489282]

Do you think she responded like an adult? No. She responded like a spoiled brat. My kids are more mature than she is! Sometimes it IS possible to hold your tongue. According to some on here I should tell her off. I have held my tongue and not done that. She could have done the same. She didn't need to say do we have to feed him. She just wanted to be passive aggressive and bitchy. She did that on purpose. Me having my nephew with me at the last minute was not on purpose to hurt SIL in any way...it was an emergency type thing and it was a freaking holiday.

The way she responded last time was because you didn't ask. If you aren't going to act like an adult and ask, then you only have one real choice, don't go.

Once again it doesn't matter if it was an "emergency" or a holiday. You don't invite people to other people's homes without their permission. You knew she had an issue wit it and you still did it. You are not blameless in this
[/quote]

[Olioxenfree]

"I did nothing rude or on purpose." You obviously don't acknowledge your part in it. It's common manners not to invite someone to someone else's house without asking the host. You sound like a child with all of the "I didn't mean to do it, she did it on purpose" nonsense. Learn from your mistakes and take credit for them.

I said it could be considered rude. Not everyone thinks that so that’s why I said it could. How is that not acknowledging my part in it? She obviously thought it was rude. Okay. I didn’t do it on purpose to piss her off. But what she said was on purpose to be rude. Period.

She responded how she did because you were rude in the first place. Yes, two wrongs don't make a right, but calling her rude is just hypocritical. You're also acting like a brat, refusing to acknowledge your part in this. Just because you didn't plan on having him doesn't mean you couldn't ask before bringing him along.

Do you think she responded like an adult? No. She responded like a spoiled brat. My kids are more mature than she is! Sometimes it IS possible to hold your tongue. According to some on here I should tell her off. I have held my tongue and not done that. She could have done the same. She didn't need to say do we have to feed him. She just wanted to be passive aggressive and bitchy. She did that on purpose. Me having my nephew with me at the last minute was not on purpose to hurt SIL in any way...it was an emergency type thing and it was a freaking holiday.

[Anonymous 1]

Because I didn't do anything purposely rude! I didn't think it would be a big deal because if it was the reverse situation, I would never say that to her if we have to feed her nephew. It would not be a big deal to me. But her response was purposely rude. That is just a fact. But I have learned...I won't be telling her that my nephew will be with us if he is...I will either not go or I will ask if it's okay. How is that not acknowledging?

"I did nothing rude or on purpose." You obviously don't acknowledge your part in it. It's common manners not to invite someone to someone else's house without asking the host. You sound like a child with all of the "I didn't mean to do it, she did it on purpose" nonsense. Learn from your mistakes and take credit for them.

I said it could be considered rude. Not everyone thinks that so that’s why I said it could. How is that not acknowledging my part in it? She obviously thought it was rude. Okay. I didn’t do it on purpose to piss her off. But what she said was on purpose to be rude. Period.

She responded how she did because you were rude in the first place. Yes, two wrongs don't make a right, but calling her rude is just hypocritical. You're also acting like a brat, refusing to acknowledge your part in this. Just because you didn't plan on having him doesn't mean you couldn't ask before bringing him along.