We were invited again

Anonymous 1

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Just been doing it for the kids to see each other, but the older my kids get, I know they will be okay without their cousins.
MrsDavidB wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 2:44 pm This is so retarded. I read all of your replies.Not only would I not go I wouldn’t even bother with her anymore. Who needs this nonsense?? Stay home and enjoy your family or spend the day somewhere else.
Olioxenfree
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Because it is hypocritical to hold it against her for being rude, but you don't want it to be held against you for being rude. It doesn't matter if it was on purpose, you were rude, plain and simple. As far as she knows, you do know common manners and did do it on purpose.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:41 pm Because I didn't do anything purposely rude! I didn't think it would be a big deal because if it was the reverse situation, I would never say that to her if we have to feed her nephew. It would not be a big deal to me. But her response was purposely rude. That is just a fact. But I have learned...I won't be telling her that my nephew will be with us if he is...I will either not go or I will ask if it's okay. How is that not acknowledging?
Olioxenfree wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:30 pm "I did nothing rude or on purpose." You obviously don't acknowledge your part in it. It's common manners not to invite someone to someone else's house without asking the host. You sound like a child with all of the "I didn't mean to do it, she did it on purpose" nonsense. Learn from your mistakes and take credit for them.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:00 pm I said it could be considered rude. Not everyone thinks that so that’s why I said it could. How is that not acknowledging my part in it? She obviously thought it was rude. Okay. I didn’t do it on purpose to piss her off. But what she said was on purpose to be rude. Period.

Anonymous 4

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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:00 pm I said it could be considered rude. Not everyone thinks that so that’s why I said it could. How is that not acknowledging my part in it? She obviously thought it was rude. Okay. I didn’t do it on purpose to piss her off. But what she said was on purpose to be rude. Period.
Olioxenfree wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 2:28 pm She responded how she did because you were rude in the first place. Yes, two wrongs don't make a right, but calling her rude is just hypocritical. You're also acting like a brat, refusing to acknowledge your part in this. Just because you didn't plan on having him doesn't mean you couldn't ask before bringing him along.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 2:07 pm Do you think she responded like an adult? No. She responded like a spoiled brat. My kids are more mature than she is! Sometimes it IS possible to hold your tongue. According to some on here I should tell her off. I have held my tongue and not done that. She could have done the same. She didn't need to say do we have to feed him. She just wanted to be passive aggressive and bitchy. She did that on purpose. Me having my nephew with me at the last minute was not on purpose to hurt SIL in any way...it was an emergency type thing and it was a freaking holiday.

Askung if he was eating is not being rude. Thats called making sure if they have enough food
Deleted User 1393

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I'd just tell her No thanks. I wouldn't offer any explanation.
Deleted User 1393

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I'd just tell her No thanks. I wouldn't offer any explanation.
Anonymous 1

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What on earth would be "on purpose" about bringing him? I did a favor for his mom and my brother. It had nothing to do with SIL so it had nothing to do with doing anything on purpose to her. Not everyone is as uptight as you seem to be and as SIL is. It was a kid and he needed to see his dad and they live 2 hours away and we were gonna be near my brother's house that lives near SIL. We explained all of that and her response was "do we have to feed him". There was no reason to say that. She was being passive aggressive. When my inlaws say they are coming at a certain time in the morning on Xmas day, I don't want them to come in the morning, but I wouldn't say do you have to come then, do we need to feed you breakfast, do you need to watch my kids open presents. That's just rude and passive aggressive things to say and does not help the situation at all.
Olioxenfree wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:19 pm Because it is hypocritical to hold it against her for being rude, but you don't want it to be held against you for being rude. It doesn't matter if it was on purpose, you were rude, plain and simple. As far as she knows, you do know common manners and did do it on purpose.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:41 pm Because I didn't do anything purposely rude! I didn't think it would be a big deal because if it was the reverse situation, I would never say that to her if we have to feed her nephew. It would not be a big deal to me. But her response was purposely rude. That is just a fact. But I have learned...I won't be telling her that my nephew will be with us if he is...I will either not go or I will ask if it's okay. How is that not acknowledging?
Olioxenfree wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:30 pm "I did nothing rude or on purpose." You obviously don't acknowledge your part in it. It's common manners not to invite someone to someone else's house without asking the host. You sound like a child with all of the "I didn't mean to do it, she did it on purpose" nonsense. Learn from your mistakes and take credit for them.
Anonymous 1

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she didn't say what you said "asking if he was eating". she said do we have to feed him. Have to? And they always have plenty of food and she doesn't even cook..they have it catered. If you don't have enough for one extra kid, that's a problem. But they always have enough.
Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:47 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:00 pm I said it could be considered rude. Not everyone thinks that so that’s why I said it could. How is that not acknowledging my part in it? She obviously thought it was rude. Okay. I didn’t do it on purpose to piss her off. But what she said was on purpose to be rude. Period.
Olioxenfree wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 2:28 pm She responded how she did because you were rude in the first place. Yes, two wrongs don't make a right, but calling her rude is just hypocritical. You're also acting like a brat, refusing to acknowledge your part in this. Just because you didn't plan on having him doesn't mean you couldn't ask before bringing him along.
Askung if he was eating is not being rude. Thats called making sure if they have enough food
Anonymous 4

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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:50 pm What on earth would be "on purpose" about bringing him? I did a favor for his mom and my brother. It had nothing to do with SIL so it had nothing to do with doing anything on purpose to her. Not everyone is as uptight as you seem to be and as SIL is. It was a kid and he needed to see his dad and they live 2 hours away and we were gonna be near my brother's house that lives near SIL. We explained all of that and her response was "do we have to feed him". There was no reason to say that. She was being passive aggressive. When my inlaws say they are coming at a certain time in the morning on Xmas day, I don't want them to come in the morning, but I wouldn't say do you have to come then, do we need to feed you breakfast, do you need to watch my kids open presents. That's just rude and passive aggressive things to say and does not help the situation at all.
Olioxenfree wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:19 pm Because it is hypocritical to hold it against her for being rude, but you don't want it to be held against you for being rude. It doesn't matter if it was on purpose, you were rude, plain and simple. As far as she knows, you do know common manners and did do it on purpose.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:41 pm Because I didn't do anything purposely rude! I didn't think it would be a big deal because if it was the reverse situation, I would never say that to her if we have to feed her nephew. It would not be a big deal to me. But her response was purposely rude. That is just a fact. But I have learned...I won't be telling her that my nephew will be with us if he is...I will either not go or I will ask if it's okay. How is that not acknowledging?

Thats what you should have done last year and not being a rude ass bitch. If you doing a favor for your sister meant that Sil had another person added into her home then you should have talked to SIL first to see if it was an imposition....Asking if she needed to feed him was snart. Its called a head count. It determines how much food to buy.
Smarties
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I think you're making too much of your sister being rude to you. Im not even sure she was intentionally rude to you at all. You didn't ask if it was okay to bring along a teen boy to her house for the holidays. That's a big deal to some people. I think you need to extend an olive branch for some peace again between you.

If you want to go, I would ask if its okay if you bring him, and let her know how much time he would be there before his dad came and got him.
Smarties
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Olioxenfree wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:19 pm Because it is hypocritical to hold it against her for being rude, but you don't want it to be held against you for being rude. It doesn't matter if it was on purpose, you were rude, plain and simple. As far as she knows, you do know common manners and did do it on purpose.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:41 pm Because I didn't do anything purposely rude! I didn't think it would be a big deal because if it was the reverse situation, I would never say that to her if we have to feed her nephew. It would not be a big deal to me. But her response was purposely rude. That is just a fact. But I have learned...I won't be telling her that my nephew will be with us if he is...I will either not go or I will ask if it's okay. How is that not acknowledging?
Olioxenfree wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:30 pm "I did nothing rude or on purpose." You obviously don't acknowledge your part in it. It's common manners not to invite someone to someone else's house without asking the host. You sound like a child with all of the "I didn't mean to do it, she did it on purpose" nonsense. Learn from your mistakes and take credit for them.

I agree with you so often.
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