I just want to tell someone!

[mrsmacgiver]

Long story short, there is a woman who contacted me 10 years ago saying that she was adopted and is searching for her birth parents. She said she thinks my dad is her biological father.

We tried to piece together the times and dates. At the time, none of the information matched. When I asked my dad about it, he knew who she was but said there was no way he had another kid. He said this woman had been stalking and harassing him for years and he thought she was nuts.

Over the years, she would contact me every now and then. I was kind but I kept insisting on a DNA test and she kept refusing. Eventually, I blocked her because I thought she was crazy.

Fast forward to the night before Thanksgiving. My brother was in town and he pulled me aside and showed me the Ancestry.com match. 99% chance, she is our half sister. My brother doesn't want anything to do with her and he thinks we shouldn't tell my dad.

I'm the one who takes care of my dad. He's had some health issues lately but I think he's strong enough to take the news. He isn't weak or frail but he is a hermit and lives alone. I'm just nervous about telling him on my own, I don't think he'll believe me.

As for my half sister, I unblocked her and sent her several messages. She replied briefly but didn't say much. I think she mostly just wants to meet her dad, which makes sense. I think she's waiting to say anything else to me until I tell our dad about this.

I'm thinking about telling him this weekend.

So...advice on talking to my dad? Thoughts of whether I should or shouldn't tell him? Wish me luck? Maybe some good juju vibes? IDK, I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest.

[LiveWhatULove]

Wow, that's crazy; I would have to tell people too! It's sad that she was ostracized and "labeled" mentally unwell because your father was in denial. I don't have any advice. I hope everyone involved finds peace about the situation though.

[Anonymous 1]

Long story short, there is a woman who contacted me 10 years ago saying that she was adopted and is searching for her birth parents. She said she thinks my dad is her biological father.

We tried to piece together the times and dates. At the time, none of the information matched. When I asked my dad about it, he knew who she was but said there was no way he had another kid. He said this woman had been stalking and harassing him for years and he thought she was nuts.

Over the years, she would contact me every now and then. I was kind but I kept insisting on a DNA test and she kept refusing. Eventually, I blocked her because I thought she was crazy.

Fast forward to the night before Thanksgiving. My brother was in town and he pulled me aside and showed me the Ancestry.com match. 99% chance, she is our half sister. My brother doesn't want anything to do with her and he thinks we shouldn't tell my dad.

I'm the one who takes care of my dad. He's had some health issues lately but I think he's strong enough to take the news. He isn't weak or frail but he is a hermit and lives alone. I'm just nervous about telling him on my own, I don't think he'll believe me.

As for my half sister, I unblocked her and sent her several messages. She replied briefly but didn't say much. I think she mostly just wants to meet her dad, which makes sense. I think she's waiting to say anything else to me until I tell our dad about this.

I'm thinking about telling him this weekend.

So...advice on talking to my dad? Thoughts of whether I should or shouldn't tell him? Wish me luck? Maybe some good juju vibes? IDK, I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest.

If she's been refusing to do a DNA test then how did your brother come up with the 99% match on ancestry.com

[mrsmacgiver]

Long story short, there is a woman who contacted me 10 years ago saying that she was adopted and is searching for her birth parents. She said she thinks my dad is her biological father.

We tried to piece together the times and dates. At the time, none of the information matched. When I asked my dad about it, he knew who she was but said there was no way he had another kid. He said this woman had been stalking and harassing him for years and he thought she was nuts.

Over the years, she would contact me every now and then. I was kind but I kept insisting on a DNA test and she kept refusing. Eventually, I blocked her because I thought she was crazy.

Fast forward to the night before Thanksgiving. My brother was in town and he pulled me aside and showed me the Ancestry.com match. 99% chance, she is our half sister. My brother doesn't want anything to do with her and he thinks we shouldn't tell my dad.

I'm the one who takes care of my dad. He's had some health issues lately but I think he's strong enough to take the news. He isn't weak or frail but he is a hermit and lives alone. I'm just nervous about telling him on my own, I don't think he'll believe me.

As for my half sister, I unblocked her and sent her several messages. She replied briefly but didn't say much. I think she mostly just wants to meet her dad, which makes sense. I think she's waiting to say anything else to me until I tell our dad about this.

I'm thinking about telling him this weekend.

So...advice on talking to my dad? Thoughts of whether I should or shouldn't tell him? Wish me luck? Maybe some good juju vibes? IDK, I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest.

If she's been refusing to do a DNA test then how did your brother come up with the 99% match on ancestry.com

The last time I spoke with her was about six years ago and at that point, she was refusing to take a DNA test.

I'm not sure when she finally took the DNA test but she must have changed her mind some time in the last 6 years.

[mrsmacgiver]

Wow, that's crazy; I would have to tell people too! It's sad that she was ostracized and "labeled" mentally unwell because your father was in denial. I don't have any advice. I hope everyone involved finds peace about the situation though.

Thank you. Yes, I have some questions about that. Maybe my dad knew it was true the whole time and just didn't want us to know. Maybe he legit thought she was nuts. IDK, I do wish I had done things differently 10 years ago but hopefully we can all figure it out now.

[Pjmm]

I wouldn't trust Ancestry far as I could throw them and I'd let sleeping dogs lie. This isn't a minor child and your father doesn't want to meet her. It's really his decision.

[mrsmacgiver]

I wouldn't trust Ancestry far as I could throw them and I'd let sleeping dogs lie. This isn't a minor child and your father doesn't want to meet her. It's really his decision.

My brother is the one who doesn't want to meet her. And that's fine, it doesn't affect me at all.

I do want to meet her. I have a feeling she won't want to meet me unless she can also meet her dad. That sounds weird but it's just a feeling. I won't know if my dad wants to meet her or not until I tell him about the DNA results.

From everything I've read, DTC DNA testing is reliable when it comes to matching relatives. Where it gets dicey is trying to trace genetic or cultural heritage dating back hundreds or thousands of years, and, of course, specific health traits.

But really, she looks just like us.

[Donnie]

I wish I had some brilliant advice for you, but I don’t. Hugs and good luck.

[Pjmm]

I wouldn't trust Ancestry far as I could throw them and I'd let sleeping dogs lie. This isn't a minor child and your father doesn't want to meet her. It's really his decision.

My brother is the one who doesn't want to meet her. And that's fine, it doesn't affect me at all.

I do want to meet her. I have a feeling she won't want to meet me unless she can also meet her dad. That sounds weird but it's just a feeling. I won't know if my dad wants to meet her or not until I tell him about the DNA results.

From everything I've read, DTC DNA testing is reliable when it comes to matching relatives. Where it gets dicey is trying to trace genetic or cultural heritage dating back hundreds or thousands of years, and, of course, specific health traits.

But really, she looks just like us.

Yes but your father has always said she's not his. She's been adopted. So meet her if you want but it's your father's decision on what he wishes to do. Since she always refused an actual DNA test I'd let it go but it's your decision. How will it affect your relationship with him if he does admit this woman is his? That's what you and your brother have to decide.

[mrsmacgiver]

I wouldn't trust Ancestry far as I could throw them and I'd let sleeping dogs lie. This isn't a minor child and your father doesn't want to meet her. It's really his decision.

My brother is the one who doesn't want to meet her. And that's fine, it doesn't affect me at all.

I do want to meet her. I have a feeling she won't want to meet me unless she can also meet her dad. That sounds weird but it's just a feeling. I won't know if my dad wants to meet her or not until I tell him about the DNA results.

From everything I've read, DTC DNA testing is reliable when it comes to matching relatives. Where it gets dicey is trying to trace genetic or cultural heritage dating back hundreds or thousands of years, and, of course, specific health traits.

But really, she looks just like us.

Yes but your father has always said she's not his. She's been adopted. So meet her if you want but it's your father's decision on what he wishes to do. Since she always refused an actual DNA test I'd let it go but it's your decision. How will it affect your relationship with him if he does admit this woman is his? That's what you and your brother have to decide.

I won't hold it against him.