She acts offended

[Anonymous 1]

I have been with my DH for 26 years. So there have been 26 Thanksgivings with his mom. At the beginning, I would never say anything about the food. I just picked what I liked. But after awhile, I wanted certain foods like baked or boiled potatoes so I started to ask if she could set a few boiled ones aside before she mashes them because I don't like mashed potatoes. She would always forget. So then I started to bring my own baked potatoes. She seemed offended by this. Why? I know when my kids have boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses some day I will ask what they like and I will do certain things for them. I don't think this should be something she should act offended by.

[MonarchMom]

People seem to forget that hosting means making your guests as comfortable as possible. That would mean allowing them to bring the foods they prefer without making a fuss.

Likewise being a good guest means to accept the hospitality offered with polite appreciation - even if someone chooses not to make your preferred food.

It is just one meal. I would just ask her directly if she minds if I bring a potato dish to serve along with the mashed potatoes, and bring enough for everyone.

[Anonymous 2]

You sound hard to please honestly. In all of the Thanksgiving food you can't find stuff you like and just eat that?

[Anonymous 1]

How is that hard to please to want potatoes on Thanksgiving Day? I don't eat mashed potatoes so I bring my own baked potato? She doesn't even have to do anything. Please tell me how that is hard to please?

You sound hard to please honestly. In all of the Thanksgiving food you can't find stuff you like and just eat that?

[msgme]

Growing up my grandma was very serious about her holiday food. She made a lot of different things. If anyone brought anything besides desert she would not of been happy. She would of been polite at the moment but they would not of gotten an invite the following year. Her mother however would of thrown out either the food or the person possibly both lol.

[Anonymous 1]

Over the years, I used to ask her if she minded to set some boiled potatoes aside before she mashed them, but like I said, she would forget. But since it seems like it offends her, I don't ask now...I just bring my baked potato. Who cares. If anyone, I should be the one that is offended but instead I just bring my own.

People seem to forget that hosting means making your guests as comfortable as possible. That would mean allowing them to bring the foods they prefer without making a fuss.

Likewise being a good guest means to accept the hospitality offered with polite appreciation - even if someone chooses not to make your preferred food.

It is just one meal. I would just ask her directly if she minds if I bring a potato dish to serve along with the mashed potatoes, and bring enough for everyone.

[Anonymous 1]

That's truly insane! To not get invited the next year for bringing something?? And possibly throw the person out? Wtf?

Growing up my grandma was very serious about her holiday food. She made a lot of different things. If anyone brought anything besides desert she would not of been happy. She would of been polite at the moment but they would not of gotten an invite the following year. Her mother however would of thrown out either the food or the person possibly both lol.

[sheramom4]

Do you bring enough to serve the group?
I am a fan of "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" but I also don't mind if people bring a dish to share. I don't like mashed potatoes either so I just don't eat potatoes at Thanksgiving. I haven't for 35 years or so unless someone brings scalloped or a different potato dish. It's just not a big deal to me.

[Anonymous 1]

Everyone else eats mashed potatoes. So no, I just bring a baked potato since I don't eat mashed potatoes and since she doesn't remember to set aside some boiled ones before she mashes them.

Do you bring enough to serve the group?
I am a fan of "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" but I also don't mind if people bring a dish to share. I don't like mashed potatoes either so I just don't eat potatoes at Thanksgiving. I haven't for 35 years or so unless someone brings scalloped or a different potato dish. It's just not a big deal to me.

[sheramom4]

Growing up my grandma was very serious about her holiday food. She made a lot of different things. If anyone brought anything besides desert she would not of been happy. She would of been polite at the moment but they would not of gotten an invite the following year. Her mother however would of thrown out either the food or the person possibly both lol.

Do we share grandparents lol? You did not bring anything to holiday dinners unless specifically asked to by grandma. If you did it anyway it would not be served.
When hosting the big family holiday party went to my mom, my grandma was shocked that she did it potluck style and had every family bring a dish or two. We have a large family and my mom was not cooking for 75 people every year. However, when my mom does a Thanksgiving meal others are restricted to dessert or rolls.