Who is next of kin? *military funeral

[Anonymous 1]

Just keeping this real simple. Who does the military typically concider to be next of kin amongst a mother, ex wife and eldest child?
I have a reason for asking but its a long story.

[Rosehawk]

Never had to deal with this, but I would guess either the child or the mother.

[Danesmommy1]

For money benefits, the child. For decision making purposes, whoever was named on the paperwork. One thing the military doesn't half ass is red tape, somewhere it's documented who the POA is.

[bmw29]

The kid then the mother. The ex wife probably doesn't figure into the equation at all unless the service member documented her as POA.

[NewStart2019]

Ex-wife is lowest if considered at all.
Then either child or mother depending on age of child I think.

[Anonymous 2]

My dh is a CAO. It depends on what you are asking about, and what the member filled out. Every member has a list of family members they want notified, the CAO try to follow the list to the letter. I know that in more than one case my dh and another CAO managed to be a block away from the living parent and the ex spouse (minor children) who lived 3 states apart so that each CAO could notify both at the same time. The death gratuity is paid at the time of notice to the next of kin, and is paid to the next of kin as listed by the member. Death gratuity, and back pay goes to the next of kin. Life insurance is separate. The CAO takes the job very seriously. I hated when he would come home in the middle of the day to change into his dress uniform because I knew what it meant. The next of kin is as the member listed.

If you are talking about the life insurance benefits, the member has already filled out the form on how the life insurance is to be paid. If a member is divorced and did not remove the ex spouses name, then the ex spouse will receive the benefits. More than one current spouse did not receive benefits because the member did not remove the ex spouse.

If you are talking about receiving the flag the first flag will go to the next of kin as listed by the member. The VFW and other veteran associations will usually provide a flag for spouse and minor children but not always.