How do I explain this to a kid?

[Olioxenfree]

My husband's dad cheated on his wife and had my husband with another woman. My husband lived with his mom until he was seven, then he went to live with his dad and his stepson, who adopted him.
We have never talked about this to the kids. They know that my husband had a different mom and that granddads wife is his stepmom. We left it at that. We just call all of his halfsiblings aunt and uncle, so we never brought it up to them. We thought they were too young and there was no reason to bring it up.
My eldest son is now nine and he's starting to figure out that it's a different situation than most families. Today he asked me
"did uncle Isaac live with dads mom when dad lived with her?"
I told him "no, he always lived with granddad."
"Why didn't he live with his mom?"
"Selena is his mom"
"Is granddad his dad?"
"Yes"
"But uncle Isaac is older than dad, how is she his mom if he was born first?"

I guess he thought my husband's older halfbrothers were his full brothers and their dad just got divorced and remarried. i told him these are good questions, families work in lots of different ways, and we would talk more about it when we see dad next week. My husband is down at our new place, getting it ready. I just don't know how to talk to him about this, especially without making it sound like I'm talking badly about his grandfather. My husband doesn't like talking about it in general, so I don't know how he will handle this.

[Anonymous 1]

My husband's dad cheated on his wife and had my husband with another woman. My husband lived with his mom until he was seven, then he went to live with his dad and his stepson, who adopted him.
We have never talked about this to the kids. They know that my husband had a different mom and that granddads wife is his stepmom. We left it at that. We just call all of his halfsiblings aunt and uncle, so we never brought it up to them. We thought they were too young and there was no reason to bring it up.
My eldest son is now nine and he's starting to figure out that it's a different situation than most families. Today he asked me
"did uncle Isaac live with dads mom when dad lived with her?"
I told him "no, he always lived with granddad."
"Why didn't he live with his mom?"
"Selena is his mom"
"Is granddad his dad?"
"Yes"
"But uncle Isaac is older than dad, how is she his mom if he was born first?"

I guess he thought my husband's older halfbrothers were his full brothers and their dad just got divorced and remarried. i told him these are good questions, families work in lots of different ways, and we would talk more about it when we see dad next week. My husband is down at our new place, getting it ready. I just don't know how to talk to him about this, especially without making it sound like I'm talking badly about his grandfather. My husband doesn't like talking about it in general, so I don't know how he will handle this.

Sigh
Another installment of As the Shark Turns

[Olioxenfree]

My husband's dad cheated on his wife and had my husband with another woman. My husband lived with his mom until he was seven, then he went to live with his dad and his stepson, who adopted him.
We have never talked about this to the kids. They know that my husband had a different mom and that granddads wife is his stepmom. We left it at that. We just call all of his halfsiblings aunt and uncle, so we never brought it up to them. We thought they were too young and there was no reason to bring it up.
My eldest son is now nine and he's starting to figure out that it's a different situation than most families. Today he asked me
"did uncle Isaac live with dads mom when dad lived with her?"
I told him "no, he always lived with granddad."
"Why didn't he live with his mom?"
"Selena is his mom"
"Is granddad his dad?"
"Yes"
"But uncle Isaac is older than dad, how is she his mom if he was born first?"

I guess he thought my husband's older halfbrothers were his full brothers and their dad just got divorced and remarried. i told him these are good questions, families work in lots of different ways, and we would talk more about it when we see dad next week. My husband is down at our new place, getting it ready. I just don't know how to talk to him about this, especially without making it sound like I'm talking badly about his grandfather. My husband doesn't like talking about it in general, so I don't know how he will handle this.

Sigh
Another installment of As the Shark Turns

Great that your life is so perfect and typical, but not everyone else's is. If you don't have anything useful to say, stay out of it.

[Anonymous 2]

Is lying an option?

Is your fil someone you would consult before answering?

Right now my answer is that you’ll have to explain the difference between “the -mistake- of having an affair” and “no child is a mistake”.

[Inmybizz]

I don't think you need to go into details about cheating or even bring it up. Just say grandad had a baby with X and a baby with Y.

[Anonymous 1]

My husband's dad cheated on his wife and had my husband with another woman. My husband lived with his mom until he was seven, then he went to live with his dad and his stepson, who adopted him.
We have never talked about this to the kids. They know that my husband had a different mom and that granddads wife is his stepmom. We left it at that. We just call all of his halfsiblings aunt and uncle, so we never brought it up to them. We thought they were too young and there was no reason to bring it up.
My eldest son is now nine and he's starting to figure out that it's a different situation than most families. Today he asked me
"did uncle Isaac live with dads mom when dad lived with her?"
I told him "no, he always lived with granddad."
"Why didn't he live with his mom?"
"Selena is his mom"
"Is granddad his dad?"
"Yes"
"But uncle Isaac is older than dad, how is she his mom if he was born first?"

I guess he thought my husband's older halfbrothers were his full brothers and their dad just got divorced and remarried. i told him these are good questions, families work in lots of different ways, and we would talk more about it when we see dad next week. My husband is down at our new place, getting it ready. I just don't know how to talk to him about this, especially without making it sound like I'm talking badly about his grandfather. My husband doesn't like talking about it in general, so I don't know how he will handle this.

Sigh
Another installment of As the Shark Turns

Great that your life is so perfect and typical, but not everyone else's is. If you don't have anything useful to say, stay out of it.

LMAO, like you can actually stop anyone from replying in any post

[Olioxenfree]

I don't think you need to go into details about cheating or even bring it up. Just say grandad had a baby with X and a baby with Y.

He's old enough now that he realizes that is not typical and asks more questions.

[Olioxenfree]

Is lying an option?

Is your fil someone you would consult before answering?

Right now my answer is that you’ll have to explain the difference between “the -mistake- of having an affair” and “no child is a mistake”.

I don't like lying. I think it causes more problems. We can't talk to my fil about it, it's a topic that is never discussed, my husband wasn't even allowed to mention his mom growing up because it upsets his stepmom

[Deleted User 1393]

You just tell him when he is older you will explain it to him.

[Deleted User 1074]

just say the grandparents found new partners and he had a baby with his, no need to get into the details with a 9 year old. there is nothing wrong with limiting how much specifically they need to know. its not lying, its condensing it for an age appropriate level.

if he keeps persisitng on details, tell him to ask his dad or grandad, after all, its their story to tell or just tell him he will understand more when he's older.