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Linda_Runs
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2019 6:11 pm Say your 13 yr old son didnt answer your check in calls for an hr , went to the beach 1/2 a mile away where he was told not to go due to algae issues in the water. Im grounding to house for a month, no phone, no xbox. Is this reasonable? DH says no. I say yes due to stress, worry and breaking several rules.
In my very humble opinion, grounding a 13 year old for a month in the summer is very harsh.
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If this isn’t usual for him, I think a month is way too long. Honestly, if my kid did that and had never done it before, they’d probably just get a stern lecture, which would most likely be enough for them not to do it again.
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I want to know this, too.
mojogirl wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2019 7:26 pm How often are these "check ins"?
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He probably didn't answer the call because he was in the water. Did he call you back after he noticed your missed calls? A month is pretty harsh but a week or so I could understand. Life was so much simpler back when we were kids. We didn't have constant check ins and knew when to be home but we were out for hours on end. We'd head to the park and other places. My brother and his friends did ride quite a ways to the beach one time. He was maybe in 4th grade with a friend and his older brother. My kid ran the neighborhood with her friends when she was little. Check in at lunch and be home when are streetlight came on or call me to tell me which friend's house she was at and I could pick her up. But depends on where you live.
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And he wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere alone like that for a good while. Rip current is crazy where we live. Mine are not allowed to go near the water without an adult oldest is 12.5.
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wow! A bit harsh ..
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hugs wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:18 pm wow! A bit harsh ..
I agree and my reply said much the same. A month, particularly in the summer, is a very long time to ground a 13 year old to such a degree. Maybe for a week to that degree - sure; or longer with less restrictions. Having a 13 year old, unless there is some type of challenge with the child, after a day or two of an intense grounding, they get the point!
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It's much too harsh. A week is more than enough to send the message he needs to hear.
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Normally, I would agree with you. In this instance, this child went to the beach by himself- no friends or adult with him. He also went swimming by himself in the ocean. I'm not sure where OP is located, but there is a huge threat of flesh eating bacteria on the Gulf and Atlantic sides right now..plus, he could have been caught in the riptide which can be bad with the storms that have been rolling through the south recently. It was dangerous and boneheaded..added to that, he did not answer the phone when she called and lied to her. All of that combined would end in my girls losing their ability to do anything for a long time..this would also include no phones, no outings with friends, nothing at all. They would be doing whatever I came up with to drive home the point that the behavior they exhibited was dangerous and boneheaded.

Linda_Runs wrote: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:58 am
hugs wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:18 pm wow! A bit harsh ..
I agree and my reply said much the same. A month, particularly in the summer, is a very long time to ground a 13 year old to such a degree. Maybe for a week to that degree - sure; or longer with less restrictions. Having a 13 year old, unless there is some type of challenge with the child, after a day or two of an intense grounding, they get the point!
Claire
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mcginnisc wrote: Sat Jul 20, 2019 9:17 am Normally, I would agree with you. In this instance, this child went to the beach by himself- no friends or adult with him. He also went swimming by himself in the ocean. I'm not sure where OP is located, but there is a huge threat of flesh eating bacteria on the Gulf and Atlantic sides right now..plus, he could have been caught in the riptide which can be bad with the storms that have been rolling through the south recently. It was dangerous and boneheaded..added to that, he did not answer the phone when she called and lied to her. All of that combined would end in my girls losing their ability to do anything for a long time..this would also include no phones, no outings with friends, nothing at all. They would be doing whatever I came up with to drive home the point that the behavior they exhibited was dangerous and boneheaded.

Linda_Runs wrote: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:58 am
hugs wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:18 pm wow! A bit harsh ..
I agree and my reply said much the same. A month, particularly in the summer, is a very long time to ground a 13 year old to such a degree. Maybe for a week to that degree - sure; or longer with less restrictions. Having a 13 year old, unless there is some type of challenge with the child, after a day or two of an intense grounding, they get the point!

The mom's anger is easy to understand. The thing is her idea for the punishment is so severe the safety message will be lost on her son. He won't learn anything from the experience. All he'll be thinking is he should take care the next time not to be caught.
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