Am I wrong?

Anonymous 1

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sheramom4 wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:28 pm It sounds like the boys are good friends and wanted to go together. Nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with you saying no either but I would expect that your son is going to want him at birthday parties and other fun things that friends do together as well. So you should prepare for that and allow him to invite his buddy along.
no, there is a 5 or 6 year age difference. That is not a concern and my son knows that NO is a complete sentence.
sheramom4
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:30 pm
sheramom4 wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:28 pm It sounds like the boys are good friends and wanted to go together. Nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with you saying no either but I would expect that your son is going to want him at birthday parties and other fun things that friends do together as well. So you should prepare for that and allow him to invite his buddy along.
no, there is a 5 or 6 year age difference. That is not a concern and my son knows that NO is a complete sentence.
That doesn't seem to matter, they can still be brothers and buddies.
My point was to not discourage your child from having a close relationship with his step sibling or not allow him to invite his brother to things in the future as it will just push your son away from you. For example, he may request that only dad throw him birthday parties because he wants his brother/buddy there. How far are you willing to take it? Is he banned from a graduation party? From any event where you will be in attendance?
There are healthy boundaries (not driving him is one) and then there are actions that lead to pushing away your own child. Be careful not to cross that line.
Anonymous 1

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sheramom4 wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:33 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:30 pm
sheramom4 wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:28 pm It sounds like the boys are good friends and wanted to go together. Nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with you saying no either but I would expect that your son is going to want him at birthday parties and other fun things that friends do together as well. So you should prepare for that and allow him to invite his buddy along.
no, there is a 5 or 6 year age difference. That is not a concern and my son knows that NO is a complete sentence.
That doesn't seem to matter, they can still be brothers and buddies.
My point was to not discourage your child from having a close relationship with his step sibling or not allow him to invite his brother to things in the future as it will just push your son away from you. For example, he may request that only dad throw him birthday parties because he wants his brother/buddy there. How far are you willing to take it? Is he banned from a graduation party? From any event where you will be in attendance?
There are healthy boundaries (not driving him is one) and then there are actions that lead to pushing away your own child. Be careful not to cross that line.
He isn't coming to any event in my home, the same with his father and stepmother. I have boundaries. I'm not doing anything push him away. LOL. my ex is too cheap or poor t throw parties. is a 13 year old really going to want a 7 year old at his party? Because I wouldn't allow it, the amount of attention needed is different.
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Hot4Tchr-Bieg
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:24 pm
Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:44 pm
honeyrder wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:51 pm

How do you come to this conclusion? Do you know the kid?
Page one "They had my son call and ask. "

OP does not actually know if "they" asked him to call or if the boy chose to call. Either way, this shows that her son spends time at Dad's house and therefore interacts with the other child who is, in fact, his brother.

OP keeps saying she doesn't know this kid and never will. Well, this boy may very well be giving the best man toast at her son's wedding. He will be her grandchildren's uncle and may someday make somebody their aunt. A little kindness now can benefit a lot more people than just this kid.
I don't understand this expectation that people should do things that they are not comfortable with and do not want to do for what? Even if all of those things happen, it has NOTHING to do with me. I don't see everyone that is related to my children by blood, much less marriage. I am uncomfortable with having this child in my home and in my car and in my care, that isn't going to change. I'm allowed to have those feelings and I am allowed to say no.
Saying that your son's brother does not matter to you simply screams that your son also does not matter to you. Say no to this request if you must, but get a clue about the whole picture and the unintended consequences.
Don't text while driving. Don''t text while stopped at stop signs and traffic lights. You're not a four year old...exercise some self-control.
Anonymous 1

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Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:40 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:24 pm
Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:44 pm

Page one "They had my son call and ask. "

OP does not actually know if "they" asked him to call or if the boy chose to call. Either way, this shows that her son spends time at Dad's house and therefore interacts with the other child who is, in fact, his brother.

OP keeps saying she doesn't know this kid and never will. Well, this boy may very well be giving the best man toast at her son's wedding. He will be her grandchildren's uncle and may someday make somebody their aunt. A little kindness now can benefit a lot more people than just this kid.
I don't understand this expectation that people should do things that they are not comfortable with and do not want to do for what? Even if all of those things happen, it has NOTHING to do with me. I don't see everyone that is related to my children by blood, much less marriage. I am uncomfortable with having this child in my home and in my car and in my care, that isn't going to change. I'm allowed to have those feelings and I am allowed to say no.
Saying that your son's brother does not matter to you simply screams that your son also does not matter to you. Say no to this request if you must, but get a clue about the whole picture and the unintended consequences.
I disagree obviously.
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honeyrder
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RealisticBeauty wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:42 pm
honeyrder wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:49 pm
RealisticBeauty wrote: Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:53 am I don't see it as a big deal unless you're not on good terms with your ex.
Would you let a stranger watch your kid?
the kid isn't a stranger
The parents are letting their kid be watched by a stranger. Damn.
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honeyrder
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Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:44 pm
honeyrder wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:51 pm
Hot4Tchr-Bieg wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:45 pm You see this kid as your ex's wife's son. Your son sees him as his brother.

You should be very careful to treat your son's brother kindly.
How do you come to this conclusion? Do you know the kid?
Page one "They had my son call and ask. "

OP does not actually know if "they" asked him to call or if the boy chose to call. Either way, this shows that her son spends time at Dad's house and therefore interacts with the other child who is, in fact, his brother.

OP keeps saying she doesn't know this kid and never will. Well, this boy may very well be giving the best man toast at her son's wedding. He will be her grandchildren's uncle and may someday make somebody their aunt. A little kindness now can benefit a lot more people than just this kid.
7 I hope that the kid can somehow escape from being forced to be part of a family that is not his.
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Valentina327
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honeyrder wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:23 pm
RealisticBeauty wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:42 pm
honeyrder wrote: Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:49 pm

Would you let a stranger watch your kid?
the kid isn't a stranger
The parents are letting their kid be watched by a stranger. Damn.
It's the husband's ex wife. It's not like she's an unknown entity. She raises the husband's first child. She's not a stranger off the street. They didn't randomly pick her name from a phone book. That's hardly "letting their kid be watched by a stranger".
Let's Go Brandon!
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