Is not speaking to someone disrespectful ?

[SeekingPeace]

THIS.

Generally speaking - yes. In that particular case, possibly. If the parent talks to the kid, the kid should respond. If the kid talks to the parent, the parent should respond.

[Guest]

THIS.

Generally speaking - yes. In that particular case, possibly. If the parent talks to the kid, the kid should respond. If the kid talks to the parent, the parent should respond.

And that would happen, if they spoke.

[SeekingPeace]

Hey, Redbottoms. I agree...that you can't force love. But if a person with children opts to remarry, do you think that person should at least try to help foster a relationship between their child and the new step parent?

Generally speaking - yes. In that particular case, possibly. If the parent talks to the kid, the kid should respond. If the kid talks to the parent, the parent should respond.

They don’t ask each other questions. If a direct question was asked the other would respond. They manage to never say a word to each other

You cannot force love or friendship. If two people do not get along or just have nothing in common etc -then it is what it is. They should not have to pretend.

[Guest]

Hey, Redbottoms. I agree...that you can't force love. But if a person with children opts to remarry, do you think that person should at least try to help foster a relationship between their child and the new step parent?

They don’t ask each other questions. If a direct question was asked the other would respond. They manage to never say a word to each other

You cannot force love or friendship. If two people do not get along or just have nothing in common etc -then it is what it is. They should not have to pretend.

How would you suggest that happen ? Lock them in a them in a room?

[RedBottoms]

Hey, Redbottoms. I agree...that you can't force love. But if a person with children opts to remarry, do you think that person should at least try to help foster a relationship between their child and the new step parent?

They don’t ask each other questions. If a direct question was asked the other would respond. They manage to never say a word to each other

You cannot force love or friendship. If two people do not get along or just have nothing in common etc -then it is what it is. They should not have to pretend.

well in my honest opinion they should not remarry unless the kid and the new stepparent have a good relationship. But my mom married my stepfather without giving a shit what I thought or felt about it. And then after she did that- any attempts by her to make me like him etc were highly fought by me because she already screwed the pooch by marrying him in the first place without my blessing. So there is that.

[SeekingPeace]

Shunning...pure silence...is often done as a means to HURT someone.

Of course, that's not always the case. But sometimes, when it's obviously INTENTIONAL, it's very hurtful.

Standing there in petulant silence as someone tries to make conversation? Rude.

No just only speaking if spoken to

[Guest]

Shunning...pure silence...is often done as a means to HURT someone.

Of course, that's not always the case. But sometimes, when it's obviously INTENTIONAL, it's very hurtful.

Standing there in petulant silence as someone tries to make conversation? Rude.

No just only speaking if spoken to

They are not trying to hurt each other. They just don’t speak

[RedBottoms]

If people have NOTHING in common, then what the f**k do they talk about? I am not good at idle chit chat. I can do it for a minute or something and then I have to go. I can mention the weather or something and then I run out of steam.

I need to have something in common with the person to talk to them-liking the same movies or music or tv shows or books or something. Stepdad and I never had anything in common really. So yeah-nothing to talk about. I have known him for 20 years now and still don't have much to talk to him about.

[SeekingPeace]

If you have never done anything to try to foster the relationship, that may be why there isn't one.
I think that children are more open to what their parents see as something worth being open to.

Again, I don't think we can make our kids feel one way or another. But we can certainly help them to live as comfortably as possible with the hand they've been dealt.

If I'm in a household and I noticed that two people were never speaking to one another unless spoken to, I might see that as a clear indication of trouble to follow.

If asked a direct question they answer but they don’t say anything to each other, no direct questions or anything

I can’t force them to do anything. As long as they speak when spoken to & no fights. I can’t do anything.

[SeekingPeace]

Original poster, what things in the past, have you tried to foster somewhat of a relationship between the two? I don't think your marriage OR the relationship between your son/husband is a lost cause. I think, if each of you just gave a little, things would improve immensely. But this "no talking" thing is not right. And it's not good. For anyone.
Have you tried telling your son, "Son, We are going to wipe the slate clean and start over. We are all going to try"? Does he seem OPEN to trying?
I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this. I really feel for all of you.
Sending you a virtual hug.

THIS.

Generally speaking - yes. In that particular case, possibly. If the parent talks to the kid, the kid should respond. If the kid talks to the parent, the parent should respond.

And that would happen, if they spoke.