I am not going to punish them because I dont see the problem....

[Beachbrat]

She wants me to punish my kids also because they are not taking her or her rules seriously. I told her no thanks.

This is a problem. Why should YOU punish the kids for not following HER rules? Either she needs to punish them herself or she needs to take it up with their dad. It has nothing to do with you.

She has tried punishing them but it isnt working because they dont care about the punishment

Then that's an issue. She is an adult. They need to respect her. You wouldn't allow your kids to disrespect their teachers or any other adult like this so why is it ok to do it to her?

[jas]

Call me old fashioned, but it is rude for a child to call and adult by their first name. ESPECIALLY if the adult doesn't like it. It's rude, it's disrespectful and just bad manners. I would be disappointed in my kids if they were mine. Granted, they don't have to call her stepmom, but clearly what they are doing now is wrong.
Not that you should "punish" them, but you should talk to them as their mother and teach them some respect and manners.

[Anonymous 1]

This is a problem. Why should YOU punish the kids for not following HER rules? Either she needs to punish them herself or she needs to take it up with their dad. It has nothing to do with you.

She has tried punishing them but it isnt working because they dont care about the punishment

Then that's an issue. She is an adult. They need to respect her. You wouldn't allow your kids to disrespect their teachers or any other adult like this so why is it ok to do it to her?

Respect is something earned not given freely. She came into their house and made demands and is throwing a fit. Why would they respect her for that?

My kids have never been disrespectful towards other adults but they feel like they have no respect so why should they give her any

[Anonymous 1]

Call me old fashioned, but it is rude for a child to call and adult by their first name. ESPECIALLY if the adult doesn't like it. It's rude, it's disrespectful and just bad manners. I would be disappointed in my kids if they were mine. Granted, they don't have to call her stepmom, but clearly what they are doing now is wrong.
Not that you should "punish" them, but you should talk to them as their mother and teach them some respect and manners.

This is something they are used to and have done many times. They dont want to call her step mom and that is okay. She isnt okay with Ms. Firstname. She wants it to be formal and they just arent there yet.

[Beachbrat]

She has tried punishing them but it isnt working because they dont care about the punishment

Then that's an issue. She is an adult. They need to respect her. You wouldn't allow your kids to disrespect their teachers or any other adult like this so why is it ok to do it to her?

Respect is something earned not given freely. She came into their house and made demands and is throwing a fit. Why would they respect her for that?

My kids have never been disrespectful towards other adults but they feel like they have no respect so why should they give her any

That respect is earned goes both ways.... And imo you start off respecting adults. If it is her house (meaning hers with her hubby) then she has every right to make rules that should be followed. And your kids need to show respect by following ruled the adult sets.

[Anonymous 1]

Then that's an issue. She is an adult. They need to respect her. You wouldn't allow your kids to disrespect their teachers or any other adult like this so why is it ok to do it to her?

Respect is something earned not given freely. She came into their house and made demands and is throwing a fit. Why would they respect her for that?

My kids have never been disrespectful towards other adults but they feel like they have no respect so why should they give her any

That respect is earned goes both ways.... And imo you start off respecting adults. If it is her house (meaning hers with her hubby) then she has every right to make rules that should be followed. And your kids need to show respect by following ruled the adult sets.

This house is my kids and my exs house. It will never be her house. Yes she lives there but they have been their since birth. The house will go to my son. She will never have claim to it just like I never did.

My ex has the right to make rules and she can make them also I guess but if my ex isnt really backing her up (which he isnt) they arent going to be taken seriously.

At the end of the day this is any issue my ex and his wife should get situated, not me.

[Valentina327]

Well that's a great way to ingratiate yourself when you're new in a family - force kids to do something they don't want to, then punish them when they don't. He's got himself a real peach there.

[Beachbrat]

Respect is something earned not given freely. She came into their house and made demands and is throwing a fit. Why would they respect her for that?

My kids have never been disrespectful towards other adults but they feel like they have no respect so why should they give her any

That respect is earned goes both ways.... And imo you start off respecting adults. If it is her house (meaning hers with her hubby) then she has every right to make rules that should be followed. And your kids need to show respect by following ruled the adult sets.

This house is my kids and my exs house. It will never be her house. Yes she lives there but they have been their since birth. The house will go to my son. She will never have claim to it just like I never did.

My ex has the right to make rules and she can make them also I guess but if my ex isnt really backing her up (which he isnt) they arent going to be taken seriously.

At the end of the day this is any issue my ex and his wife should get situated, not me.

Wow you and your ex are real pieces of shit! Just because she has no "claim" to the house doesn't make it any less hers, as she lives there. And if your ex isn't backing his wife then i can see why your children are ass holes and treat their step mother like she is dirt. Smh. Y'all are all fucked in the head.

[Valentina327]

Call me old fashioned, but it is rude for a child to call and adult by their first name. ESPECIALLY if the adult doesn't like it. It's rude, it's disrespectful and just bad manners. I would be disappointed in my kids if they were mine. Granted, they don't have to call her stepmom, but clearly what they are doing now is wrong.
Not that you should "punish" them, but you should talk to them as their mother and teach them some respect and manners.

That's how I was raised. I'm 52 and I still call friend's parents Mr/Mrs so and so. LOL

That being said, I don't know that I'd come into a family new and make demands then try to punish. The name of the game is win the kids over at this point, so I think flexibility should be the order of the day. At least that's how I'd function.

OP - what about if they come up with a cute nick name just for her? Mama Jen or Mrs S (first initial of the last name), or something like that?

[Anonymous 1]

That respect is earned goes both ways.... And imo you start off respecting adults. If it is her house (meaning hers with her hubby) then she has every right to make rules that should be followed. And your kids need to show respect by following ruled the adult sets.

This house is my kids and my exs house. It will never be her house. Yes she lives there but they have been their since birth. The house will go to my son. She will never have claim to it just like I never did.

My ex has the right to make rules and she can make them also I guess but if my ex isnt really backing her up (which he isnt) they arent going to be taken seriously.

At the end of the day this is any issue my ex and his wife should get situated, not me.

Wow you and your ex are real pieces of shit! Just because she has no "claim" to the house doesn't make it any less hers, as she lives there. And if your ex isn't backing his wife then i can see why your children are ass holes and treat their step mother like she is dirt. Smh. Y'all are all fucked in the head.

Clearly she lives there but it doesnt become only her house. It is just as much my kids' house, well even more so

I am not fucked in the head because I am being logical about what is going on. She lives there but so do they. She doesnt have overall say and these issues need to be worked out in that house, not in mine.

My ex knows she is being ridiculous.