Life is too short to spend it in uncomfortable situations

[Momto2boys973]

I agree. I think it’s about the attitude one has towards life. If your purpose in life is breeze through it, then obviously you’ll run away from anything that’s not about your comfort. And you’ll see giving as somethingbunpleasant because it takes away from that comfort. But I feel that by giving, I also take something in return. Realizing you have the capacity of making a sacrifice or the strength of character to deal with a difficult person gives a person great satisfaction and sense of accomplishment. Certainly much more than running away from everything tough.

Now you are just trolling, lol.

Why because I think some selfishness is good?

I personally think, one can still care for his or her self, while simultaneously also thinking of others. I do not think selfishness is something a person should seek to be. When I think selfish, I think of characters like Scrooge or ego driven toddlers, who wants to be like that?

[Anonymous 2]

Depends on the situation. Sometimes that's warranted, other times you can be a selfish twat. There's a line.

Selfishness is underrated. What is wrong with some selfishness?

again this depends on the specific situation?

Not feeding your kids dinner because you would rather watch Greys' Anatomy-not okay
Telling inlaws "No" to yet another family dinner this month-okay

[RedBottoms]

You have to do some things like get medical treatment or brush your teeth or pay your bills or work so you have money to pay your bills. But yes many things are optional.

Can you give some specific examples?

I’m not going to the family reunion, because I don’t want to. Or not going to see my nephew play baseball because I’d rather pull my hair out. Or not bringing cookies to the bake sale because I don’t want to

those are all fine to not do.

[Traci_Momof2]

Depends on the situation. Like others have said, pushing yourself outside your comfort zone can lead to newfound joy and pleasure. And sometimes we do a little self sacrifice to bring joy and pleasure to those we love. But there are undesirable extremes at both ends. Saying yes all the time leaves you feeling like a doormat. But saying no all the time leaves you selfish and alone. Healthiness and happiness is finding the balance in the middle.

[sarah824]

And this kind of me me me attitude is what keeps the roads dangerous and the same few people trying to handle everything. I have a volunteer position and spend so much time doing other people's jobs because they don't feel like it or they don't want to. I'm getting burnt out and about to quit but it would greatly impact the kids in our program so I keep pushing forward. I just wish there was more kindness and less selfishness in this world.
I'm sorry but if you're this selfish you just aren't a good person. Selfish people always take and never give and seem to think they are more important than everyone else. I cant stand selfish people.

This right here!! I'm in the same boat and I really wish more people would step up, but I won't quit because I don't want the kids to suffer. It isn't fair to them because the adults around them are too selfish to help!

[Traci_Momof2]

And this kind of me me me attitude is what keeps the roads dangerous and the same few people trying to handle everything. I have a volunteer position and spend so much time doing other people's jobs because they don't feel like it or they don't want to. I'm getting burnt out and about to quit but it would greatly impact the kids in our program so I keep pushing forward. I just wish there was more kindness and less selfishness in this world.
I'm sorry but if you're this selfish you just aren't a good person. Selfish people always take and never give and seem to think they are more important than everyone else. I cant stand selfish people.

I remember when DH and I were volunteering in our church in multiple ways, we were told that it was the same 10% of parishioners who were volunteering for everything. If they could even bump that up to 30%, then the load on all the volunteers would be less and they wouldn't get burnt out. But asking people to volunteer even a little bit of time is like pulling teeth.

[Traci_Momof2]

Well some here believe staying in a marriage even if they are unhappy for the children. I do agree in a way with that but you can't always be selfish. I think more people should be less about me me me and be more selfless.

Why? Givers are usually taken advantage of.

And how are you with your own children? Do you give of yourself for their own happiness? Or if it doesn't make you happy too do you just say "screw it" and let your children be unhappy?

[Anonymous 1]

Well some here believe staying in a marriage even if they are unhappy for the children. I do agree in a way with that but you can't always be selfish. I think more people should be less about me me me and be more selfless.

Why? Givers are usually taken advantage of.

And how are you with your own children? Do you give of yourself for their own happiness? Or if it doesn't make you happy too do you just say "screw it" and let your children be unhappy?

My children are the exception to my every rule. They come before me all the time

[Anonymous 3]

And this kind of me me me attitude is what keeps the roads dangerous and the same few people trying to handle everything. I have a volunteer position and spend so much time doing other people's jobs because they don't feel like it or they don't want to. I'm getting burnt out and about to quit but it would greatly impact the kids in our program so I keep pushing forward. I just wish there was more kindness and less selfishness in this world.
I'm sorry but if you're this selfish you just aren't a good person. Selfish people always take and never give and seem to think they are more important than everyone else. I cant stand selfish people.

I remember when DH and I were volunteering in our church in multiple ways, we were told that it was the same 10% of parishioners who were volunteering for everything. If they could even bump that up to 30%, then the load on all the volunteers would be less and they wouldn't get burnt out. But asking people to volunteer even a little bit of time is like pulling teeth.

Exactly. I'll ask people whose kids are involved to do a simple thing. Something that will take an hour or two at home one time and I'll hear "oh I would but we are just so busy you know? The kids have homework to do and we have this once a week and *insert another once a week activity* so I really just can't." And I'm left thinking what a pathetic excuse. Sure let's leave it for the person who homeschools her kids, whose husband is gone at work long hours so shes basically on her own, who has a special needs kid to contend with, whose kids have way more extracurriculars than that, and whose family runs 3 children's programs. No problem I certainly have all of the time in the world to do all of these little projects that add up to hours and hours of work. I certainly don't need to sleep because that's the only time I can fit this in is after everyone else is in bed.
But sure OP don't think you are taking as long as you continue not to volunteer.
Sorry it's the end of the year for the groups and I'm scrambling and frustrated. And people who did volunteer for things aren't doing what they said they would so yay more work for me.

[Anonymous 1]

And this kind of me me me attitude is what keeps the roads dangerous and the same few people trying to handle everything. I have a volunteer position and spend so much time doing other people's jobs because they don't feel like it or they don't want to. I'm getting burnt out and about to quit but it would greatly impact the kids in our program so I keep pushing forward. I just wish there was more kindness and less selfishness in this world.
I'm sorry but if you're this selfish you just aren't a good person. Selfish people always take and never give and seem to think they are more important than everyone else. I cant stand selfish people.

I remember when DH and I were volunteering in our church in multiple ways, we were told that it was the same 10% of parishioners who were volunteering for everything. If they could even bump that up to 30%, then the load on all the volunteers would be less and they wouldn't get burnt out. But asking people to volunteer even a little bit of time is like pulling teeth.

Exactly. I'll ask people whose kids are involved to do a simple thing. Something that will take an hour or two at home one time and I'll hear "oh I would but we are just so busy you know? The kids have homework to do and we have this once a week and *insert another once a week activity* so I really just can't." And I'm left thinking what a pathetic excuse. Sure let's leave it for the person who homeschools her kids, whose husband is gone at work long hours so shes basically on her own, who has a special needs kid to contend with, whose kids have way more extracurriculars than that, and whose family runs 3 children's programs. No problem I certainly have all of the time in the world to do all of these little projects that add up to hours and hours of work. I certainly don't need to sleep because that's the only time I can fit this in is after everyone else is in bed.
But sure OP don't think you are taking as long as you continue not to volunteer.
Sorry it's the end of the year for the groups and I'm scrambling and frustrated. And people who did volunteer for things aren't doing what they said they would so yay more work for me.

It’s not making me change my mind TO volunteer. I wouldn’t make an excuse, I just would say no. I’m not interested. I believe all the activities my children are in are done by people who get paid to do it.