How would you handle this

[RedBottoms]

It would still cause problems

Stay home and prepare a party for them.

They are already having separate parties at the same time 3 weeks after the ceremonies. I wont be able to attend them because of work

these family members must not like each other if they plan their parties at the same time so nobody can attend both

[Anonymous 6]

We had a similar situation this past June. All 3 granddaughters were graduating in the same week in different locations. My MIL attended only one - her favorite grandchild. It’s never discussed but we all know this one is the favorite.

My opinion was that if you can’t go to all, go to none. Although she has a favorite, must she be so blatant about it. Luckily my DD could care less as she has known this for a while. Grandma did send her a check for $500 though.

[Shell7m]

I would take them both out for lunch and talk to them about it. Go from there.

[NotACatfish]

Is grandpa alive/around? Can he go to one while you go to the other?

[Momto2boys973]

This. And I would tell them that if we cannot come to a solution together, then I would have to miss both as I won’t pick between my grandkids. I would offer to throw them a graduation gathering when we can all be together instead.

Honestly it sucks you need to take them both out to lunch and openly discuss it with THEM. Not us.

[NotACatfish]

We had a similar situation this past June. All 3 granddaughters were graduating in the same week in different locations. My MIL attended only one - her favorite grandchild. It’s never discussed but we all know this one is the favorite.

My opinion was that if you can’t go to all, go to none. Although she has a favorite, must she be so blatant about it. Luckily my DD could care less as she has known this for a while. Grandma did send her a check for $500 though.

That sucks. I hate the favoritism crap. I am my grandma’s favorite grandchild because i am her only living biological grandchild (the rest are adopted). It makes me super uncomfortable. She’s always making comments that make it obvious

[Vegaswife2011]

I just asked my husband and he said the one I liked best. Geez that’s awful. I say the one I am not closest to, as the one I am closest too already knows I care.

That’s sweet.

[Sassy762]

Favoring one child or grandchild over another is a total BITCH move. I've never pulled that crap with my kids or grandkids and never will. I also would never subject my children to a nasty bitch like that, she would be dead to us after the very first time I witnessed that .

We had a similar situation this past June. All 3 granddaughters were graduating in the same week in different locations. My MIL attended only one - her favorite grandchild. It’s never discussed but we all know this one is the favorite.

My opinion was that if you can’t go to all, go to none. Although she has a favorite, must she be so blatant about it. Luckily my DD could care less as she has known this for a while. Grandma did send her a check for $500 though.

[Anonymous 6]

Favoring one child or grandchild over another is a total BITCH move. I've never pulled that crap with my kids or grandkids and never will. I also would never subject my children to a nasty bitch like that, she would be dead to us after the very first time I witnessed that .

We had a similar situation this past June. All 3 granddaughters were graduating in the same week in different locations. My MIL attended only one - her favorite grandchild. It’s never discussed but we all know this one is the favorite.

My opinion was that if you can’t go to all, go to none. Although she has a favorite, must she be so blatant about it. Luckily my DD could care less as she has known this for a while. Grandma did send her a check for $500 though.

It is not necessarily done with malice. My MIL just didn’t have good role models with either her mother or her MIL. Has always favored the children of her daughters more than the sons. I got the sense it comes from the belief that daughter’s never leave you but sons do. I used to be frustrated by it. She has not been to visit us since 2007 although we are only a 4 hour car ride away or an easy train trip. Yet she has been to visit my SIL and her kids in Europe at least 1x/year.

Since she has retired, she has made more of an effort but my DD is indifferent at this point. She’ll talk to her or email but doesn’t initiate. The sad thing is that both my parents are dead as is my FIL. So my MIL is it.

[Anonymous 6]

We had a similar situation this past June. All 3 granddaughters were graduating in the same week in different locations. My MIL attended only one - her favorite grandchild. It’s never discussed but we all know this one is the favorite.

My opinion was that if you can’t go to all, go to none. Although she has a favorite, must she be so blatant about it. Luckily my DD could care less as she has known this for a while. Grandma did send her a check for $500 though.

That sucks. I hate the favoritism crap. I am my grandma’s favorite grandchild because i am her only living biological grandchild (the rest are adopted). It makes me super uncomfortable. She’s always making comments that make it obvious

Out of 7 grandkids, there are 3 that get more attention and they are the ones that are the children of the daughters. It isn’t blatant. Things like bragging emails about just those or visits and going to events more than the others. As the kids have gotten older, it is not going unnoticed. My nephew once commented to my SIL’s boyfriend “grandma knows more about ‘A’ than all the other grandkids combined.”

On another note to your response - I’m adopted. I was never accepted by my father’s mother. In fact he cut her out of his life because of the way she treated me.