My uncle is such an asshole

[Anonymous 1]

At 95 maybe she requires more care than he can give and she's not safe being at home any longer. If she can't be left alone at all and needs 100% supervision or of she has health conditions where it's beneficial to have medical staff on site to attend to her that might be a better spot. She might be safer there.

Did you have a calm conversion with him and simply ask him why he thought that was a good idea?

She is completely independent. She requires company and conversation, but she moved into an independent living retirement home - not a nursing home.

There is still staff there is she needs them. If it's independent living then she'll be able to isolate, which you're claiming is your issue.

You didn't live with her. You have absolutely no idea how much assistance she actually needs on a day to day basis. You can't know that from talking on the phone or visiting her twice a year.

The only way you truly know someone's condition and how much care they need is by living with them day in and day out. People can tell you they're fine. They can pull it together to seem fine for a few hours when upon visit. There's absolutely no possible way at 95 she has zero deficits.

If she is that independent, she may have hated living with her child and wanted to be on her own. This may have been her desire.

You need to calmly talk to both of them and not approach your uncle in anger. This is his mother and he's local. You're 20 hours away. He knows FAR MORE about her true condition than you do. It's very easy to run your mouth when you're not the one responsible. I don't think your uncle is the asshole in this scenario.

My issue is that a retirement home is no different than a daycare. It’s a Petri dish.

[Anonymous 9]

What does she want? My mother is an independent living facility and we offered to go get her and bring her here to our home. She feels more comfortable there as she can isolate really easily.

[MrsDavidB]

Why do you enjoy being a bitch? I can’t actually risk driving to get her right now, but I’m looking into a private jet to bring here here.

What?! LOL

That’s really the only option right now. My youngest is 5, and my first priority is my kids.

...And how much does contracting a private jet for a person cost? You have this type of money?

[Beachbrat]

Obviously I don't know your granny but seriously at 95 she can do everything herself?? Drive, use the internet for paying bills, small home repairs, cleaning under couches, reaching the top of kitchen cabinets for cleaning? I just find that hard to believe she needs NO assistance ever.

3
Using the internet isn't required for paying bills. Tons of young people hire handyman services for small home repairs that's not a service just for the elderly. And tons of capable people use housekeepers also so again not just for the elderly. Tons of young people don't even have a license or a car and do just fine. EVERYONE needs some sort of help to live their life. There is no reason not to believe that she can't be 100% independent. Smh

Except OP later said she is dependent on others so shake your head all you want I was correct.

I guess you can't comprehend what you read....i said EVERYONE needs help at some point, doesn't mean she is 100% depending on others. So she may very well be capable of living in her own which was OPs original point. Smh.

[Beachbrat]

You still have not answered the question of... WHAT DOES GRANNY WANT?

[Anonymous 2]

Blah blah blah.. SMH.

[Anonymous 1]

What?! LOL

That’s really the only option right now. My youngest is 5, and my first priority is my kids.

...And how much does contracting a private jet for a person cost? You have this type of money?

I have money when I need it. What I’m genuinely curious about at the moment is why you haven’t donated to this site despite the fact you’re on here all the time and clearly have disposable income......

[Anonymous 10]

At 95 maybe she requires more care than he can give and she's not safe being at home any longer. If she can't be left alone at all and needs 100% supervision or of she has health conditions where it's beneficial to have medical staff on site to attend to her that might be a better spot. She might be safer there.

Did you have a calm conversion with him and simply ask him why he thought that was a good idea?

She is completely independent. She requires company and conversation, but she moved into an independent living retirement home - not a nursing home.

Obviously I don't know your granny but seriously at 95 she can do everything herself?? Drive, use the internet for paying bills, small home repairs, cleaning under couches, reaching the top of kitchen cabinets for cleaning? I just find that hard to believe she needs NO assistance ever.

My parents are 93 and 95 and do everything on their own. Same with their next door neighbors who they have lived next to for over 70 years.

[Anonymous 1]

You still have not answered the question of... WHAT DOES GRANNY WANT?

She’s blissfully unaware of COVID-19, so she doesn’t have all the facts to make a good decision right now.

[Anonymous 6]

I don’t need her money, which is pretty much all gone. But thanks for asking.

I’m not there with her, and if my uncle was willing to help then he should help, no?

According to you that asshole put her in there, so he just dumped her off and left.....you expect him to help now?
So since granny is broke, she's not worth going to pick up. BUT if she still had money, would you go get her?
I hope.your kids dump you in the worst state paid nursing home in a few years

Why do you enjoy being a bitch? I can’t actually risk driving to get her right now, but I’m looking into a private jet to bring here here.

Im a bitch for calling it like I see it? Okay, I'll be that bitch then. But Im not the saddle goose seeyounexttuesday that leaves my grandparent in a home all alone. f**k the restrictions, there's always a way around them if you only had a viable brain cell. I would and have taken my grandparent out of a home but you continue to make excuses.
Im lmfao at the private jet bullshit