Why women don't leave

PoplarGrove
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For those who judge women who don't leave their abusive husbands I thought I'd put this out there. THIS is a major reason women don't leave their abusers.

https://globalnews.ca/news/5172976/dome ... QdT6QrJI7A
LuckyEightWow
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I don’t think it’s a hard concept to understand, but I guess it is for some.
Anonymous 1

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Its practically impossible to teach an old dog new tricks especially if they are moronic assholes with shit for brains, just saying
Momto2boys973
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There’s a lot of ignorance and victim blaming.
You can read in the now unfortunately locked post someone calling an abused woman who hasn’t left her husband a “shitty mom” for not leaving and even went as far as saying that she should go and leave the kids with the “competent parent”, a.k.a the wife beater... talk about victim blaming at its finest 🤢
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PoplarGrove
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LuckyEightWow wrote: Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:26 am I don’t think it’s a hard concept to understand, but I guess it is for some.
For those who have always lived in relative safety it probably is a hard concept to grasp. "Well, I would have left the first time he hit me" - by the time he first hits you he's already convinced you that you're worthless and deserve it. Abusers pick their victims. They aren't going for a woman who has a strong will and character that will put up with the beginnings of abuse. He goes for women who through mental illness or conditioning will allow him to treat her the way he does. He chooses a woman who probably has few close (and especially strong) friends and family. And then she's afraid to tell anyone what's happening because she knows what women like many on this board would say.
PoplarGrove
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Momto2boys973 wrote: Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:42 am There’s a lot of ignorance and victim blaming.
You can read in the now unfortunately locked post someone calling an abused woman who hasn’t left her husband a “shitty mom” for not leaving and even went as far as saying that she should go and leave the kids with the “competent parent”, a.k.a the wife beater... talk about victim blaming at its finest 🤢
Oh, I read it all. I really wish those women would comment as themselves and not hide behind the anonymous button. And they're calling the abused woman spineless. If you want to voice your opinion and call someone a shitty Mom at least have the balls to let us now who you are.
RedBottoms

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PoplarGrove wrote: Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:44 am
LuckyEightWow wrote: Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:26 am I don’t think it’s a hard concept to understand, but I guess it is for some.
For those who have always lived in relative safety it probably is a hard concept to grasp. "Well, I would have left the first time he hit me" - by the time he first hits you he's already convinced you that you're worthless and deserve it. Abusers pick their victims. They aren't going for a woman who has a strong will and character that will put up with the beginnings of abuse. He goes for women who through mental illness or conditioning will allow him to treat her the way he does. He chooses a woman who probably has few close (and especially strong) friends and family. And then she's afraid to tell anyone what's happening because she knows what women like many on this board would say.
I got BLASTED on another board for saying what you just said. I said I don't attract abuser type men because I am a super ball buster very strong mouthy woman. They pass right by me. I was told that was victim blaming or something. The thing is I had girlfriends that were more meek and they did fall in with abusers and those guys immediately started trying to isolate them from me and get them away from me because the entire time I was like "Umm nah he can f**k off-you don't have to do that or Nah girl you have just as much rights as him or Nah girl you are smart and he is wrong saying you are dumb" stuff like that. I was ruining the "narrative" they were trying to feed her.
Momto2boys973
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I guess they knew no one would agree with those nasty holier-than-thou opinions and didn’t want to be labeled. Funny how someone can accuse a helpless abuse victim of being cowardly, but they don’t even have the guts to say so under their SN.
I mean, when you call an abuser the “competent” parent over the abused one, you gotta go anon because no one will forget it.
PoplarGrove wrote: Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:47 am
Momto2boys973 wrote: Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:42 am There’s a lot of ignorance and victim blaming.
You can read in the now unfortunately locked post someone calling an abused woman who hasn’t left her husband a “shitty mom” for not leaving and even went as far as saying that she should go and leave the kids with the “competent parent”, a.k.a the wife beater... talk about victim blaming at its finest 🤢
Oh, I read it all. I really wish those women would comment as themselves and not hide behind the anonymous button. And they're calling the abused woman spineless. If you want to voice your opinion and call someone a shitty Mom at least have the balls to let us now who you are.
❤️🇮🇱 עמ׳ ישראל חי 🇮🇱❤️
Anonymous 2

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Momto2boys973 wrote: Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:42 am There’s a lot of ignorance and victim blaming.
You can read in the now unfortunately locked post someone calling an abused woman who hasn’t left her husband a “shitty mom” for not leaving and even went as far as saying that she should go and leave the kids with the “competent parent”, a.k.a the wife beater... talk about victim blaming at its finest 🤢
You are leaving out part of what was said and taking it out of context. That isnt surprising for you though.
Traci_Momof2
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I think this is just one of those things that people really won't understand unless they've actually been there. I've never been in the situation to be abused. So when I hear of other women who are and who don't seem to try to leave, my automatic response is to wonder why. Like why on earth wouldn't you just leave. And I mean, I understand all of the reasoning that is given in these discussions, but I still feel like I don't really understand if that makes sense. I don't truly understand it because I've never lived it. And I don't think I could ever understand it unless I actually lived it.
So for the most part in discussions regarding abuse I just try to keep my mouth shut because I know I can't understand.
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