New neighbors' opinions

[LiveWhatULove]

I usually just wrinkle my brow in a perplexed look and try to change topics or end the convo.

I have some wild neighbors, in the sense that some are gun fanatics, stereotypical against race, anti-working mothers & daycare, huge Trump supporters, and the list goes on…

I try to just take a deep breath and forgive, as that one opinion does define their entire character, like for example, the same nutty neighbor who will show up clean someone’s house, start the meal train, do their lawn work, not matter who they are, because it’s right thing to do, even if they do not agree with the person.

[Anonymous 1]

They were talking to me and my DH.

We were outside. Why?

Where were they when they were talking, and where were you that you heard them?

Because my response changes if you were in an active conversation vs. eavesdropping.

[MonarchMom]

In those conversations I often say a variation on "we see this issue very differently." That lets them know I don't agree, and avoids the assumption that you are like minded if you say nothing.

If they choose to question that or ask more specifics, I try to be honest but not emotional, and just speak for myself. "I know many people that are ____ and believe they are entitled to the same rights and respect as everyone else." or "I wouldn't be OK with that language or the idea of taking away anyone's rights."

Then I try to change the subject to something neutral. People are more open to expanding their thinking if they have comfortable personal experiences with people in daily life. If they meet someone from a group, or hear that their peers and neighbors are tolerant, they may rethink a stereotype.

[PoplarGrove]

Yeah, at one point I said "that's the world today" in a very calm, dry way as to not have a debate. But they kept going so I said I know a trans person and I love and care about them and I call them the pronouns they want to be called and I call them the name they want to be called. The lady went on to complain. We got interrupted and we went our separate ways which I was very glad. The whole conversation really got inside of me and bothered me for the rest of the night and part of the next day.

I think in the moment I would've just said something like "Everyone has their own opinion" and then tried to get myself out of that conversation as fast as I could. Going forward I would no longer be neighborly to them. Like, not be rude, but not be neighborly either. And if they try to engage me in conversation I would politely back myself out of it as fast as I could.

They are allowed their opinion, but there is nothing that says that I have to interact with them in any way. And if they cornered me and asked my point blank then I would tell them point blank that I don't want any interaction with them because I find their opinion revolting.

You handled it well.

I would have said "Sorry, I prefer not to converse with transphobes" and walked away. Apparently perimenopause has removed my filter. They're allowed to have an opinion of transgender people and I'm allowed to have an opinion on people who have an opinion and choose not to converse or socialize with them. Unless they seemed like the kind who would cause me or my family harm and then I'd just pretend i got a phone call, walk away and never speak to them again.

[Pjmm]

I'd told them straight out I don't want to hear it. I've heard enough racist or anti trans comments as it is and my tolerance is zero. I don't have a trans child but I'd say look I have trans friends and clients. If you have concerns or questions that's fine. I've had them also. But I'm not going to tolerate straight up disrespect to the people I care about. Now, what do you think of the new road/pizza place/trash schedule, etc?