New neighbors' opinions

[jas]

I probably would have asked why they felt like that and maybe tried to educate. It really depends on their vibe if I would bother. People are going to have their own opinions and while that's all well and good, it can be because of wrong information.

[Slimshandy]

I have a different answer if your child is trans than I would have if you didn’t really know anyone but supported trans issues.


If your child is trans, there needs to be a HARD line drawn when it comes to what conversation you will allow her to speak. That sounds harsh, but there shouldn’t be any confusion about where your household stands on the issue and she should know… KNOW … that any kind of talk like that around your children will be met with a much stronger opinion than hers.

[WellPreserved]

You don't need to be friends with your neighbors but it's best if you all are being civil towards one another. I would have made it known that her words were not being civil towards your family and she should refrain. I would basically say that as the parent of a transgender kid, I find your words hurtful and hateful. I can't change your opinion but I can have boundaries as far as discussion.

[Aletheia]

I would basically say that as the parent of a transgender kid, I find your words hurtful and hateful.

If the child is already 'passing' (meaning 'nobody is questioning that they are their actual gender, rather than their biological S*x'), then wouldn't that be outing them?

[Anonymous 2]

Our new neighbors have lived there for several months but the other night they started talking about trans people and how disgusting that is and blah, blah, blah. I shouldn't have felt shock but I did. I just feel that people should keep their extreme opinions to themselves. My child is trans and I know there is no way that they know that so they weren't saying it because of that...they were just saying it because I don't know why but I wish they hadn't. How would you have responded to this if you were me? I will let you know how I responded here in a little bit.

If they were saying they were all for it, would you wish they'd kept that opinion to themselves? If not, you can't have it both ways.

[WellPreserved]

I would basically say that as the parent of a transgender kid, I find your words hurtful and hateful.

If the child is already 'passing' (meaning 'nobody is questioning that they are their actual gender, rather than their biological S*x'), then wouldn't that be outing them?

That's very true. In that case, I would probably leave out "as the parent of a transgender kid" but keep the rest.

I actually stated something along those lines to a neighbor when we opened up our home as an Airbnb and I found her words hateful towards our guests, not our family members. All too often, hateful language can lead to hateful actions if not checked and silence equals agreement, at least in my opinion.

[Anonymous 1]

We were outside. Why?

Our new neighbors have lived there for several months but the other night they started talking about trans people and how disgusting that is and blah, blah, blah. I shouldn't have felt shock but I did. I just feel that people should keep their extreme opinions to themselves. My child is trans and I know there is no way that they know that so they weren't saying it because of that...they were just saying it because I don't know why but I wish they hadn't. How would you have responded to this if you were me? I will let you know how I responded here in a little bit.

Where were they when they were talking, and where were you that you heard them?

[Anonymous 1]

Yes. I would rather not discuss sensitive topics of any kind with most people including new neighbors. We don’t need to talk about politics, religion, vaccines, gays and trans or how much money we make or the person I am talking to makes. How about talk about the weather, the yards, our houses, sports, I can think of many other things.

Our new neighbors have lived there for several months but the other night they started talking about trans people and how disgusting that is and blah, blah, blah. I shouldn't have felt shock but I did. I just feel that people should keep their extreme opinions to themselves. My child is trans and I know there is no way that they know that so they weren't saying it because of that...they were just saying it because I don't know why but I wish they hadn't. How would you have responded to this if you were me? I will let you know how I responded here in a little bit.

If they were saying they were all for it, would you wish they'd kept that opinion to themselves? If not, you can't have it both ways.

[AZOldGal66]

Were this a situation I had encountered, I wouldn't remain overly friendly with them. Neighborly, yes, but nothing further.

They're allowed to have their opinions and you're allowed to not become good friends with them.

[Rosehawk]

We were outside. Why?

Our new neighbors have lived there for several months but the other night they started talking about trans people and how disgusting that is and blah, blah, blah. I shouldn't have felt shock but I did. I just feel that people should keep their extreme opinions to themselves. My child is trans and I know there is no way that they know that so they weren't saying it because of that...they were just saying it because I don't know why but I wish they hadn't. How would you have responded to this if you were me? I will let you know how I responded here in a little bit.

Where were they when they were talking, and where were you that you heard them?

Because my response changes if you were in an active conversation vs. eavesdropping.