Dd pissed me off today

[Kookookrazy]

So we're back from our cruise....we've actually been back well over a week. Anyway we were all disgusted coming back because we ate a hell of a lot on that cruise and both kids were complaining to me about getting serious about losing weight .I said I'm on board we will do it.

Dd has ALWAYS complained about going to the gym even before this she has whined every time I tell her it's time to go to the gym she pitches a fit.I spoke to her weeks ago about it I said I'm going to need you to stop complaining every time it's time to work out you do it all the time and it gets under my skin just stop doing it .

Well she hasn't stopped ...she still grumbles every time and I have just been ignoring it but this afternoon I was changing shirts and dd walked in and I said give me a minute I'm changing shirts for the gym and she started bitching immediately and I snapped at her today. I said didn't I tell you to stop F***ing doing that? You know what I'm not forcing you to go with us anymore if you want to stay home in bed and expand and have your body hurt like mine, have your knees go bad and get lymphedema like me than be my guest! Have at it! I'm not dealing with this anymore me and your brother will go by ourselves.

Ds16 has been really disciplined with going to the gym .He NEVER complains.We didn't go yesterday because DS16 told dd to take her shower so we can go to the gym and she "fell asleep " instead. I later found out she fell asleep on purpose to not go to the gym.

I barely can motivate myself to go to the gym so when it's time to go and she pitches a fit it zaps my motivation and it mentally drains me.

She complains about all these things she doesn't like but has a fit when it is time to work out . It's not like the gym is the only option I said we can do grow with jo in the mornings before you go to class and she outright refuses to get up in the morning.

Should me and DS just continue our weightloss journey without her going forward?

[Anonymous 1]

I don't know how long it's going to take you to realize your daughter is an adult and it's time to stop controlling her. Just tell her we're going to the gym if you want to come and leave it at that.
My rule for my teenage ds is if you want me to pay for a gym membership you will go 3-5 times a week. If he doesn't want to go I'm not paying.
She likely also has access to an on campus rec center she may be more willing to work out in than going to the gym with her mommy who treats her like a child.

[RIZZY]

I am not familiar with the back story but it sounds like she really doesn't like the gym. I've been going for over a year and I still feel like an outsider and feel uncomfortable at the gym so it's understandable. I would continue doing what I'm doing. I wouldn't have told her I was going to the gym unless she asked. I would have said, "Give me a minute, I'm changing." Just leave it at that.

My daughter can act bratty about certain subjects. I don't bring them up unless it's a need-to-know situation. She's nearly an adult.

[MonarchMom]

You and/or your son going should not depend on your daughter going too. Maybe there is something else she likes - dance class, yoga, line dancing, karate, etc. Let her decide what she wants to do for activity, but you should stay on your own path.

[Heyteacher]

You can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to do. Period. At 16, your daughter should be self aware enough to know what she does and doesn’t want to do (within reason). If she doesn’t want to go to the gym and you do, then go. You don’t need to tell her you’re going, you don’t need her permission to go—just go. Period.

If she makes remarks ignore her. Once she realizes it won’t get under your skin she will stop.

[Murdoc's Mistress]

She is able to make her own decisions about going to the gym. Leave her be.

[Anonymous 2]

Let her be. She doesn't always need to be with you. She's at the age where she wants more space. Allow her some.

[MrsDavidB]

Stop badgering her about it. And exercise is good of course but your diet is the reason you are 300lbs. Have you ever seen a nutritionist, asked about medication, or seen a weight loss doctor for surgery?

[Vegaswife2011]

You are insane.

[Olioxenfree]

I knew you wrote this before I opened it based on the title. Your kids are going to do things you don’t like sometimes, getting “pissed off” and such every time isn’t healthy. She’s an adult, she can decide what she wants to do. Instead of getting all pissed and setting the example of disrespect by responding that way, talk to her civilly. Just make your plans and if she complains calmly say “that’s fine, you don’t have to go” and set the example of respect instead of engaging in it. If she says she wants to take a shower, say okay, we’re leaving by this time, hope you can join us, and leave it at that. Separately discuss the health benefits to regular exercise (which don’t include weight) and tell her you would like to help her explore types of exercise that she enjoys, but she is an adult and has the say of if she does it. You control how you respond.