I guess I am a bully

[CherryTreez]

So, you laughed at a little boy and told him to go play with the girls?

No I laughed at his mom and grandma.

The other cousins that were there were girls. So yes, go play with the girls. They were doing the stuff that he wanted to do as well.

We don't have many boys in the family. It's less than a quarter are boys. So there are lots of girls around to play with. My older son often played with his girl cousins.

Now you know damn well that's not why you said to go play with the girls. GTFOH with that bullshit, disingenuous, probably can't even be honest with yourself.

There's something about the boy you don't like and you can't put your finger on it, ain't it?

Well there were girls playing and then there were boys wrestling. So go play with the girls was what I said.

[CherryTreez]

My son wrestled also. When he was teaching my younger nephew he did not go full force. He was a teacher showing moves and technicality. There is a way to "wrestle softer" with a boy who has never done it before. Geez.

They are all 8. They didn't throw him or take him down.

[CherryTreez]

You're raising a jerk.

How is he a jerk? Because he was wrestling with his cousin? They both are in wrestling clubs and do meets. They are very similar in size and they love it. They don't get to see each a lot. So when they do, they wrestle because they love it.
If they were not wrestling, they would be playing football or basketball or soccer. The girls will play soccer with them. Pretty much if the boys are together, they are playing some kind of sport. They both have sisters around their ages and love to have a boy that plays like they do.

They were not going to stop playing to go do crafts or play video games. They like being active.

She didn’t say he was a jerk, she said you are raising him to be a jerk. Which I don’t know if you are or not but this lesson you just gave him is definitely teaching bad sportsmanship. The other boy obviously wanted to play wrestle or he wouldn’t have joined in in the first place. He didn’t come in and demand they stop, he just asked that they wrestle softer with him because he hasn’t done it before.

My eldest son plays tennis and does martial arts and in both he has been chosen to help out the instructor with the younger kids, because he is both very skilled and he also has control which is a huge benefit to success in sports. When he’s playing with the younger kids he plays to challenge, not to dominate. He makes them try but doesn’t just crush them because that wouldn’t teach them anything. They easily could have kept being active and just used his turn to wrestle to show him some basic moves and then went harder with each other. Your son has plenty of wrestling time in his life, he doesn’t see these cousins often you say, so I wouldn’t encourage my kids to exclude others based on a certain skill and throw in some sexist bullshit of “go play with the girls if he doesn’t like it.”

Because I highly doubt all seven of those girls have zero interest in any athletic activity, they most likely just don’t do it with your son because they don’t want to get pinned down and told “well that’s how the boys play, go back to your crafts if you don’t like it.” Every person except one on here has told you that you were the asshole in this and that’s not something commonly agreed upon on here.

He didn't talk to them. He came and talked to me. He wanted him to make them be softer. They are all the same age. Maybe he should have talked to the boys instead of trying to get one of the moms to make them do what he wanted.

[MrsDavidB]

My son wrestled also. When he was teaching my younger nephew he did not go full force. He was a teacher showing moves and technicality. There is a way to "wrestle softer" with a boy who has never done it before. Geez.

They are all 8. They didn't throw him or take him down.

You said in an earlier reply he pinned him in seconds. That is not being a good leader and cousin. There are several moves he could have taught the boy and give him some skills. But no. Your son wanted to show off and take him down in seconds. I don't know how you are not seeing what we are all telling you. You just want to see how your son is an expert and the other boy was being a sissy.

[Olioxenfree]

How is he a jerk? Because he was wrestling with his cousin? They both are in wrestling clubs and do meets. They are very similar in size and they love it. They don't get to see each a lot. So when they do, they wrestle because they love it.
If they were not wrestling, they would be playing football or basketball or soccer. The girls will play soccer with them. Pretty much if the boys are together, they are playing some kind of sport. They both have sisters around their ages and love to have a boy that plays like they do.

They were not going to stop playing to go do crafts or play video games. They like being active.

She didn’t say he was a jerk, she said you are raising him to be a jerk. Which I don’t know if you are or not but this lesson you just gave him is definitely teaching bad sportsmanship. The other boy obviously wanted to play wrestle or he wouldn’t have joined in in the first place. He didn’t come in and demand they stop, he just asked that they wrestle softer with him because he hasn’t done it before.

My eldest son plays tennis and does martial arts and in both he has been chosen to help out the instructor with the younger kids, because he is both very skilled and he also has control which is a huge benefit to success in sports. When he’s playing with the younger kids he plays to challenge, not to dominate. He makes them try but doesn’t just crush them because that wouldn’t teach them anything. They easily could have kept being active and just used his turn to wrestle to show him some basic moves and then went harder with each other. Your son has plenty of wrestling time in his life, he doesn’t see these cousins often you say, so I wouldn’t encourage my kids to exclude others based on a certain skill and throw in some sexist bullshit of “go play with the girls if he doesn’t like it.”

Because I highly doubt all seven of those girls have zero interest in any athletic activity, they most likely just don’t do it with your son because they don’t want to get pinned down and told “well that’s how the boys play, go back to your crafts if you don’t like it.” Every person except one on here has told you that you were the asshole in this and that’s not something commonly agreed upon on here.

He didn't talk to them. He came and talked to me. He wanted him to make them be softer. They are all the same age. Maybe he should have talked to the boys instead of trying to get one of the moms to make them do what he wanted.

I never said he talked to them, he talked to a parent and made a very reasonable request. If I ever found my kids who excel at sports doing that to a kid who is new to the sport, they would be corrected, I’m not raising my kids to have bad sportsmanship and they know it.

[Olioxenfree]

He isn’t “too soft to handle it”, they have been wrestling since they were in kindergarten and he has never done it, that’s not “soft” that’s an unfair match. All of my kids have been in martial arts since they were toddlers. They are skilled. My sisters kids haven’t been doing it for as long and aren’t as skilled, they will still play spar with them and show them techniques. They also know 100% that play sparing with their cousins is not a competition and they need to play to their opponents abilities. They are not to take down their cousin and potentially injure them just because they can.

Same with other sports, I have one son who is very good at soccer and plays on a travel team, but when he’s just playing with his friends and siblings around the yard he knows to tone it down. That doesn’t mean losing on purpose or that he can’t play well, but he also knows to keep it fun for everyone and not to hog the ball and ruin everyone else’s time just because he has more experience. Going full force on someone who isn’t an equal match while playing is horrible sportsmanship. The way you responded reminds me of how my father in law used to treat my husband and his siblings and there’s a reason why he has a bad relationship with most of his kids.

They are 8. It's 3 years. He didn't get thrown, he didn't get taken down. They went from knees with him on top to him pinned. Seconds..

It doesn’t matter if they’re all the same age, they have years of experience and excel from what you said, he doesn’t have any experience. I didn’t say he was thrown. If my kids who know martial arts pinned another kid in seconds, they would get a conversation because that’s bad sportsmanship. All he did was ask them to play gentler with him since he is new to it and you belittled him, belittled your niece, and taught your kids that it’s okay to hang up on kids weaker than them.

[WellPreserved]

3rd grade is an appropriate time to teach kids when to bring it, when to be inclusive, and when to mentor.

[CherryTreez]

My son wrestled also. When he was teaching my younger nephew he did not go full force. He was a teacher showing moves and technicality. There is a way to "wrestle softer" with a boy who has never done it before. Geez.

They are all 8. They didn't throw him or take him down.

You said in an earlier reply he pinned him in seconds. That is not being a good leader and cousin. There are several moves he could have taught the boy and give him some skills. But no. Your son wanted to show off and take him down in seconds. I don't know how you are not seeing what we are all telling you. You just want to see how your son is an expert and the other boy was being a sissy.

He was playing with his cousin. Not there to teach his second cousin. Why does he have to be a leader when he was playing with his cousin?

[CherryTreez]

He isn’t “too soft to handle it”, they have been wrestling since they were in kindergarten and he has never done it, that’s not “soft” that’s an unfair match. All of my kids have been in martial arts since they were toddlers. They are skilled. My sisters kids haven’t been doing it for as long and aren’t as skilled, they will still play spar with them and show them techniques. They also know 100% that play sparing with their cousins is not a competition and they need to play to their opponents abilities. They are not to take down their cousin and potentially injure them just because they can.

Same with other sports, I have one son who is very good at soccer and plays on a travel team, but when he’s just playing with his friends and siblings around the yard he knows to tone it down. That doesn’t mean losing on purpose or that he can’t play well, but he also knows to keep it fun for everyone and not to hog the ball and ruin everyone else’s time just because he has more experience. Going full force on someone who isn’t an equal match while playing is horrible sportsmanship. The way you responded reminds me of how my father in law used to treat my husband and his siblings and there’s a reason why he has a bad relationship with most of his kids.

They are 8. It's 3 years. He didn't get thrown, he didn't get taken down. They went from knees with him on top to him pinned. Seconds..

It doesn’t matter if they’re all the same age, they have years of experience and excel from what you said, he doesn’t have any experience. I didn’t say he was thrown. If my kids who know martial arts pinned another kid in seconds, they would get a conversation because that’s bad sportsmanship. All he did was ask them to play gentler with him since he is new to it and you belittled him, belittled your niece, and taught your kids that it’s okay to hang up on kids weaker than them.

My daughter is one of the girls that was there. My one niece could beat up both her brother and my son if she wanted to. She is not weaker than the boys. I taught my kids that they don't have to stop what they are doing because someone else doesn't like it. It's okay to say no.

[mcginnisc]

Yeah.. it's obvious that you don't give a rat's behind what everybody says. You don't think you're a bully nor your kids, however in 30 responses, you've heard over and over that you are in fact a bully. Maybe some self reflection is needed here. Your son needs to learn how to be a positive influence and that would entail taking 5 minutes out of what he was doing to actually show him how to do something without pinning him. I have two black belts in my house. My oldest, now in college, taught for three years before leaving for school..her younger sister (15) is now an instructor. They know how to go hard, but also how to teach. My oldest was 9 when she got her 1st degree so don't hand me the BS that you are trying to push that they are 8. They are perfectly capable of going hard at each other and then pulling back with someone non experienced. You were a a jerk..plain and simple and you are not doing your kid any favors and you certainly did not do any for your nephew or sister/ niece.