I guess I am a bully

[highlandmum]

They are 8. It's 3 years. He didn't get thrown, he didn't get taken down. They went from knees with him on top to him pinned. Seconds..

It doesn’t matter if they’re all the same age, they have years of experience and excel from what you said, he doesn’t have any experience. I didn’t say he was thrown. If my kids who know martial arts pinned another kid in seconds, they would get a conversation because that’s bad sportsmanship. All he did was ask them to play gentler with him since he is new to it and you belittled him, belittled your niece, and taught your kids that it’s okay to hang up on kids weaker than them.

My daughter is one of the girls that was there. My one niece could beat up both her brother and my son if she wanted to. She is not weaker than the boys. I taught my kids that they don't have to stop what they are doing because someone else doesn't like it. It's okay to say no.

Honestly I think you are missing the point. They do not have to stop they need to tone it down a bit when they are wrestling with the child with no experience. It's not hard to pull back and not go as hard. When your son and the other are wrestling they can go full out but when they are wrestling the other boy they pull back. As I said when my son plays hockey with players who are below his skill level he pulls back, when he plays with players equal or above he pushes himself.its not hard to do.

[Anonymous 2]

You are absolutely a bully. My son hates wrestling and always has and I'd be furious if you laughed at him and told him to go play with the girls then. It's a sensory thing for him and he wasn't athletic until his teenage years.
A more appropriate thing to do would be to call your son over and remind him to go easy on him because he's new to wrestling. I'd suggest he teach him some moves and help him out instead of going full out against him. Or let him be a ref or something so he can be included with the boys without wrestling that hard. Are you afraid your son will learn to be kind and compassionate towards others? That he will learn to be a good teammate and build others up instead of dominating? You're exactly the type of person I avoid when it comes to sports.

I laughed at my sister and her daughter. Not the kid. He wanted to wrestle. He saw what they were doing. And the girls are all the other cousins that were there.

He wanted to play with the boys. Then he wanted to change it because he didn't like how they were playing. It's not right to make kids stop what they are doing because you don't like it.

They didn't have to stop what they were doing they simply needed to tone it down a bit when they were wrestling him. It's not hard and it's not too much to ask.
But you didn't want an answer you wanted to be validated and brag about your son.

[mater-three]

Yea - kind of. Telling a boy to go play with the girls is uncalled for. Additionally, laughing to his mom about him is wrong. Kids know what’s going on if you don’t tell them.

[Olioxenfree]

They are 8. It's 3 years. He didn't get thrown, he didn't get taken down. They went from knees with him on top to him pinned. Seconds..

It doesn’t matter if they’re all the same age, they have years of experience and excel from what you said, he doesn’t have any experience. I didn’t say he was thrown. If my kids who know martial arts pinned another kid in seconds, they would get a conversation because that’s bad sportsmanship. All he did was ask them to play gentler with him since he is new to it and you belittled him, belittled your niece, and taught your kids that it’s okay to hang up on kids weaker than them.

My daughter is one of the girls that was there. My one niece could beat up both her brother and my son if she wanted to. She is not weaker than the boys. I taught my kids that they don't have to stop what they are doing because someone else doesn't like it. It's okay to say no.

He didn’t ask them to stop, he asked for them to go gentler on him since he hasn’t done it before. He didn’t “not like” what they were wrestling, he didn’t like that within second they pinned him to the ground when he has no experience. They don’t have to stop because someone asked them not to do something to their body? That’s a horrible lesson to teach your kids.

[EarlGrayHot]

You are a bully and a jerk and you are raising a bully and a jerk. Making children cry and implying that one, girls are just weak and two, deliberately insulting a young boy because he wants to play but doesn't think he should be hurt by your bully. I'd divorce my husband if he pulled the crap that you do. I hope your kids are given a reality check by someone in your family and soon.

[LiveWhatULove]

Surely, with distance and hindsight, you can self-reflect that both you and your child could have handled the situation with more kindness, right?

With that said, I am so sick of the word bully. I am sick of parents focusing on the “bully” rather than their own child, where they have far more control to make him confident!!

[CherryTreez]

It doesn’t matter if they’re all the same age, they have years of experience and excel from what you said, he doesn’t have any experience. I didn’t say he was thrown. If my kids who know martial arts pinned another kid in seconds, they would get a conversation because that’s bad sportsmanship. All he did was ask them to play gentler with him since he is new to it and you belittled him, belittled your niece, and taught your kids that it’s okay to hang up on kids weaker than them.

My daughter is one of the girls that was there. My one niece could beat up both her brother and my son if she wanted to. She is not weaker than the boys. I taught my kids that they don't have to stop what they are doing because someone else doesn't like it. It's okay to say no.

He didn’t ask them to stop, he asked for them to go gentler on him since he hasn’t done it before. He didn’t “not like” what they were wrestling, he didn’t like that within second they pinned him to the ground when he has no experience. They don’t have to stop because someone asked them not to do something to their body? That’s a horrible lesson to teach your kids.

Um if he walked away from them to coming talk to me they had stopped wrestling with him. They were not doing anything with his body. He wanted me to make them stop playing the way that they were. He didn't have to play with them. There were other kids, adults, toys.... he wanted them to change what they were doing for him..

I taught my kids to walk away from things that they don't like. I know that my kids would have gone and found something else to do. Play a game, play with a cousin, play with the dogs or other animals, ride a bike or ask for a four wheeler ride. There are many things to do there.

[Olioxenfree]

My daughter is one of the girls that was there. My one niece could beat up both her brother and my son if she wanted to. She is not weaker than the boys. I taught my kids that they don't have to stop what they are doing because someone else doesn't like it. It's okay to say no.

He didn’t ask them to stop, he asked for them to go gentler on him since he hasn’t done it before. He didn’t “not like” what they were wrestling, he didn’t like that within second they pinned him to the ground when he has no experience. They don’t have to stop because someone asked them not to do something to their body? That’s a horrible lesson to teach your kids.

Um if he walked away from them to coming talk to me they had stopped wrestling with him. They were not doing anything with his body. He wanted me to make them stop playing the way that they were. He didn't have to play with them. There were other kids, adults, toys.... he wanted them to change what they were doing for him..

I taught my kids to walk away from things that they don't like. I know that my kids would have gone and found something else to do. Play a game, play with a cousin, play with the dogs or other animals, ride a bike or ask for a four wheeler ride. There are many things to do there.

He didn’t ask for them to stop wrestling with him, he asked for them to be gentler on him. he shouldn’t be excluded because your kid wasn’t showing sportsmanship and thought it was okay to pin someone in seconds when they haven’t ever wrestled before. And I’m not saying that makes your kid a bad kid, he’s eight, he doesn’t know better, but it’s your job as a parent to teach him. So yeah, you were a bully. Every person on here has said so. You clearly don’t care that you are one so I don’t see the point in you asking.

[cgd5112]

By saying the kid can go play with the girls, you’re essentially calling the kid a p**sy.

Now as a mom, I can see how a kid like that can be annoying and whiny as f**k. However, he’s family. And you said there are not a lot of boy cousins to play with, so I can understand why he’d like to play with your son and other cousin. Rough housing is fun and a primal thing- especially for kids. I think you missed a teaching moment for your son. You could have asked the boys to teach this kid how to wrestle, show him some moves and go from there. Leadership, good sportsmanship, compassion/empathy, etc ….

We do bjj, and the upper belts do not go hard on the lower belts. In fact, they teach you as you grapple. They tone it down where you’re lacking and up the intensity where you’re strong.

I agree with one of the moms that bully has lost its meaning. It’s over used. IN your case, no, you are not a bully. But you certainly were not at your best for yourself around family or for your son.

[Quorra2.0]

Idk about bully but I think you both were wrong.