How would it make you feel?

[Anonymous 1]

I think you have a serious problem. You need to tell him why you were upset, and that you don't appreciate him looking at other women. If he's getting off thinking about someone else, then that is also a problem.

Honestly, I wouldn't be with a man that stared at another woman when I was sitting right there. I don't know why your marriage is having trouble, but it sounds like it might just get worse from here.

I did tell him. He did as he always does, turned it on me,then told me I'm delusional.

He can do no wrong & if I call him out on anything or Express my feelings about something he does that's disrespectful, he goes into the silent treatment & we have to ignore & move on from it.

While on the other hand, we ( he) can tell me all day what I'm saying or doing wrong.
Ex) we went to the store ,the car in the next parking space was over the line,so I parked over my line a bit. I was instructed by dh to move my truck over & when I said no it's fine Jesus Christ. He yelled & screamed about what a moron I am.

[agander2017]

I think you have a serious problem. You need to tell him why you were upset, and that you don't appreciate him looking at other women. If he's getting off thinking about someone else, then that is also a problem.

Honestly, I wouldn't be with a man that stared at another woman when I was sitting right there. I don't know why your marriage is having trouble, but it sounds like it might just get worse from here.

I did tell him. He did as he always does, turned it on me,then told me I'm delusional.

He can do no wrong & if I call him out on anything or Express my feelings about something he does that's disrespectful, he goes into the silent treatment & we have to ignore & move on from it.

While on the other hand, we ( he) can tell me all day what I'm saying or doing wrong.
Ex) we went to the store ,the car in the next parking space was over the line,so I parked over my line a bit. I was instructed by dh to move my truck over & when I said no it's fine Jesus Christ. He yelled & screamed about what a moron I am.

I'm don't like to be the one to say leave him, but in this case I think that's what needs to happen here. My ex did that. Everything was my fault, I was stupid, and he never did anything wrong. I put up with this for several years before I realized (I was in denial) that he was cheating, and comparing me to the women he cheated with. He put them on a pedestal, and I was on the bottom of the pile. Nothing I did was ever good enough, because he didn't love me anymore. He just stayed with me because, in his words, "It's cheaper to keep her".

Once I finally got over the fear of moving on with my life alone, I left him. He got everything in the divorce, but I really don't care. I moved on, and I'm so happy now. Your husband is a jerk, and you deserve better than that.

[Anonymous 1]

I think you have a serious problem. You need to tell him why you were upset, and that you don't appreciate him looking at other women. If he's getting off thinking about someone else, then that is also a problem.

Honestly, I wouldn't be with a man that stared at another woman when I was sitting right there. I don't know why your marriage is having trouble, but it sounds like it might just get worse from here.

I did tell him. He did as he always does, turned it on me,then told me I'm delusional.

He can do no wrong & if I call him out on anything or Express my feelings about something he does that's disrespectful, he goes into the silent treatment & we have to ignore & move on from it.

While on the other hand, we ( he) can tell me all day what I'm saying or doing wrong.
Ex) we went to the store ,the car in the next parking space was over the line,so I parked over my line a bit. I was instructed by dh to move my truck over & when I said no it's fine Jesus Christ. He yelled & screamed about what a moron I am.

I'm don't like to be the one to say leave him, but in this case I think that's what needs to happen here. My ex did that. Everything was my fault, I was stupid, and he never did anything wrong. I put up with this for several years before I realized (I was in denial) that he was cheating, and comparing me to the women he cheated with. He put them on a pedestal, and I was on the bottom of the pile. Nothing I did was ever good enough, because he didn't love me anymore. He just stayed with me because, in his words, "It's cheaper to keep her".

Once I finally got over the fear of moving on with my life alone, I left him. He got everything in the divorce, but I really don't care. I moved on, and I'm so happy now. Your husband is a jerk, and you deserve better than that.

Thank you, I guess I'm just getting to the point of realizing that I can't salvage my marriage.

[Anonymous 6]

You are not sure who he was thinking of when he got off. He could've been thinking about all of the things he wanted to do to you.

Why would he want to do anything to me when hes horny for another woman? I would just be the hole he has to put it in .

That is what you are assuming but you truly don't know that.

[Anonymous 1]

You are not sure who he was thinking of when he got off. He could've been thinking about all of the things he wanted to do to you.

Why would he want to do anything to me when hes horny for another woman? I would just be the hole he has to put it in .

That is what you are assuming but you truly don't know that.

Hes clearly not interested in me, so much so that he blatantly stared at this other woman right in front of me, then asked me for S*x. I'm just the hole he has to put it in because we are married

[Anonymous 7]

What does “working on your marriage” mean to you? Who is responsible for that? Just him?

How did silently fuming for 3 hours help your marriage?

[Anonymous 8]

When you realised what dickhead was looking at, you should have moved the truck back to the original spot and blocked his view.
Since you think he had a boner from looking at those women, you should have suggested a game of strip poker in your tent. You dont really know for sure that he jacked off or if he was thinking about the other women at that pool.

If he always interrupts you when you talk and wont let you speak, next time make sure you are in the kitchen. Grab the largest butcher knife or largest cast iron skillet you have and casually talk to him.
His attention will be on you and may be slightly shocked so you will be able to talk uninterrupted.

You & your dh have had some problems in your marriage but you both decide to work on the marriage.

You start taking camping trips together. The first trip , had a great time. No problems.

The 2nd trip, your dh spends about 3 hrs ogling another woman right in front of you, almost like he thinks you're too stupid to notice. You dont say anything because you dont want to start a fight. Then asks you for S*x, you feel as if he expects you to be the hole for him to put it in. You give him a are you serious look. You pretend to take a nap, your dh goes off & jerks off thinking of this other woman.

The next day , you hint around about having S*x & he doesn't respond at all & you know for sure its because he got off thinking of this other woman.

Seriously am I supposed to be okay with all this? How would you feel? Am I making too much of it?
Would you continue to go on these trips? And would you continue to be the one who basically pays for the trips?

I kinda feel like I & our marriage was so disrespected.

[Anonymous 1]

What does “working on your marriage” mean to you? Who is responsible for that? Just him?

How did silently fuming for 3 hours help your marriage?

To me it means we both listen to the other & work together to make our marriage work.

Apparently to him it means, to be the dictator & I must fall all over myself trying to make him happy or he throws a temper tantrum & then gives me the silent treatment. All while he berates me .

Silently fuming helped because he does nothing wrong & saying anything about what he did wrong means I have to put up with his temper tantrums. Its gotten to the point, I just say okay & turn away.

I realize now that hes never going to work on himself or the actual marriage, hes just going to stay married and beat me down emotionally, it's better than having to pay me alimony.

[Anonymous 9]

What do you mean you are the one paying for the trips? Is he not working?

[Anonymous 1]

What do you mean you are the one paying for the trips? Is he not working?

Years ago I was a sahm & only he worked. Now we both work, he has decided that we keep our $$$ separate. He pays the Bill's in the house including my car repairs & such. I pay for all groceries & miscellaneous.

The first yr we decided to go on a camping trip, we paid the reservation for the camp site out of our tax refund. But then he had to have all this stuff. And because I pay for miscellaneous, I ended up spending over $700 just on stuff he wanted. I also paid for all the gas to get there ,all the food. ,I personally spent over $1000. He spent maybe $100 on firewood.

We get home from trip & he wants a bigger tent & a screen house for next trip. I only bought a bigger tent that had a screen house attached to it. Anytime he went on & on about what he wanted ,I started ignoring him or told him to tell our adult dd's to get him for him for his birthday, fathers day or Christmas.

This trip , he wouldn't listen that you can't leave the food just in cold water instead of ice. All the food was ruined from being water logged, so guess who got to buy all the food TWICE. Me! For the next trip he wants me to buy a food sealer instead of just changing out the water for ice when its time.

Hes already starting in on the fact that we now have so much camping stuff, it can't all fit in the truck. So next trip I'm expected to rent a uhaul trailer for 4 days for all the crap he had to have. I suggested either using some of our tax refund on buying a cargo carrier for the top of the truck or going half on it. Nope ,we must tent a trailer because he says so & if he doesnt get what he wants he will make the whole trip miserable. I will end up paying for the trailer.