Mostly a vent but advice appreciated update

[Superbutt]

This would make me extra uncomfortable and pissed that she was painting me in some sort of pervert way with the naked thing. I don’t know but I would be pissed

Yes, exactly! Sooo pissed.

[MrsDavidB]

This would make me extra uncomfortable and pissed that she was painting me in some sort of pervert way with the naked thing. I don’t know but I would be pissed

Yes, exactly! Sooo pissed.

Right and I'm surprised nobody mentioned it. This could cause you to be 'looked into' or whatever the case. This is serious.

[Anonymous 2]

I'd be afraid a counselor/therapist would make a cps report as a mandated reporter. Ugh.

Definitely don't be alone with her. Hopefully you can get better advice from someone else. She is manipulating something. Kids know they can hurt adults with accusations.

And i don't think i mentioned this but we had already filed court stuff, so we are currently awaiting a court date and all these lies/emails came up

Do you have an attorney? I'd be asking him/her all about how you should handle this from the legal perspective. Good luck; sounds very stressful.

[Anonymous 2]

This would make me extra uncomfortable and pissed that she was painting me in some sort of pervert way with the naked thing. I don’t know but I would be pissed

Yes, exactly! Sooo pissed.

Right and I'm surprised nobody mentioned it. This could cause you to be 'looked into' or whatever the case. This is serious.

Its definitely been mentioned.
I'd be upset too. I'd be worried of future incidents and accusations that are even more escalated as well.

[madfoodie]

First, I want to say (in case anyone gives you crap for it), I don't blame you if when writing in here about your SD you refer to her as your DD. I think as soon as the word "step" enters the topic, the responses from members are often become focused on the "step" situation rather than the true topic.

Now...about your SD...I don't condone lying. In fact, it's one thing that can really turn me off to a person. That said, I think your SD is hurting...majorly...about something. It could be that she is upset about the divorce. It could be something going on at school. It could be because it's tough being a 12yo. Whatever it is, she is hurting and it appears she needs to talk. It appears that she does need attention. Lots of it.

I think when people lie, it is often because they feel inadequate...insignificant...not worthy. My recommendation to you, your DH, and BM would be to START PUMPING UP THIS GIRL'S SELF ESTEEM.

I could be wrong. I've been known to be. But I care about your SD and it sounds like you do, too. Try building her up. And then, let us know how she is doing. Best wishes to all of you.

This. Her self esteem could be low. Make sure you tell her and show her you love her.
Make sure she knows she's beautiful.
That she knows she's smart.
Most important not to care what her peers think of her.

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

I would get that child on birth control pills. There's two reasons. The first is obvious...horny little girl's gonna come home pregnant if you don't. But also, the pill can have the side effect of reducing libido...maybe that would help her control her behavior online.

[Superbutt]

Yes, exactly! Sooo pissed.

Right and I'm surprised nobody mentioned it. This could cause you to be 'looked into' or whatever the case. This is serious.

Its definitely been mentioned.
I'd be upset too. I'd be worried of future incidents and accusations that are even more escalated as well.

It has not been mentioned to me ever. Until now

[Superbutt]

This would make me extra uncomfortable and pissed that she was painting me in some sort of pervert way with the naked thing. I don’t know but I would be pissed

Yes, exactly! Sooo pissed.

Right and I'm surprised nobody mentioned it. This could cause you to be 'looked into' or whatever the case. This is serious.

Well bm said she didnt mention it because she felt.it was normal. But now that her bf got brought into it, she is focusing way more on what sd has apparNtly been telling her for years

[Anonymous 3]

This.

First, I want to say (in case anyone gives you crap for it), I don't blame you if when writing in here about your SD you refer to her as your DD. I think as soon as the word "step" enters the topic, the responses from members are often become focused on the "step" situation rather than the true topic.

Now...about your SD...I don't condone lying. In fact, it's one thing that can really turn me off to a person. That said, I think your SD is hurting...majorly...about something. It could be that she is upset about the divorce. It could be something going on at school. It could be because it's tough being a 12yo. Whatever it is, she is hurting and it appears she needs to talk. It appears that she does need attention. Lots of it.

I think when people lie, it is often because they feel inadequate...insignificant...not worthy. My recommendation to you, your DH, and BM would be to START PUMPING UP THIS GIRL'S SELF ESTEEM.

I could be wrong. I've been known to be. But I care about your SD and it sounds like you do, too. Try building her up. And then, let us know how she is doing. Best wishes to all of you.

This. Her self esteem could be low. Make sure you tell her and show her you love her.
Make sure she knows she's beautiful.
That she knows she's smart.
Most important not to care what her peers think of her.

[Anonymous 7]

First at that age lying can often be a reaction, not a plan. So you need to figure out what she is reacting to. My guess would be her home life with mom and boyfriend. The kid is more than likely worried about where she is going to live, what happens if mom and bf, or dad and you split up etc, things that may not even make sense to you, but you are not a child.

I would increase her appointments with her counselor. Please, don't worry about the counselor contacting CPS, there is so much more to that decision than a child who is acting this way. The kid's world is a mess in her mind, so that is her reality. The counselor and the adults in her life need to work together to change her view of her world. Dad and you are trying to get her in a stable environment, than and counseling, lots of patience is so needed.

Good luck, and I thank you for trying to help her, and not just giving up.