Are you f-ing serious ETA

[Fullxbusymom]

Eh, it is not a hill worth dying over imo. It is pretty normal for her age. As long as not a health hazard or safety hazard I allow them to keep their rooms as they see fit. If they have clothes on the floor or books. I just shut the door.

[Traci_Momof2]

I would get garbage bags and put everything in the bags. She gets NOTHING back until her attitude and disgusting habits change. The next step would be to remove her door and strip her room, leaving her bed and 7 sets of the oldest ugliest clothes she has.

Wow! Harsh.

[Superbutt]

Dd12 is driving me nuts.
She has been being so disrespectful of her things. I used to help her clean and organize her room but once she turned 11 i decided she can do it. She just trashes her room all the time. My rule was before bed and before leaving the house, your stuff should be picked up and taken care of. But still, she leaves books all over the floor, some of them library books. Clothes, makeup, markwrs, notebooks, accessories, anything she owns, really. We have talked about this SO MANY TIMES. i have taken everything that she left on the floor several times and just recently talked with her and gave it back. The very next time she leaves the hous, the room is trashed again. Am i crazy?? What is a good approach here?

It's her room, her shit. Just close the door so you don't have to look at it.

Guess i should have mentioned she shares a room with dd8.

[Anonymous 1]

I will say the same thing even with her sharing a room...choose your battles. Even the title of your post is a little over the top. It's just not really that big of a deal in the big picture of life.

Dd12 is driving me nuts.
She has been being so disrespectful of her things. I used to help her clean and organize her room but once she turned 11 i decided she can do it. She just trashes her room all the time. My rule was before bed and before leaving the house, your stuff should be picked up and taken care of. But still, she leaves books all over the floor, some of them library books. Clothes, makeup, markwrs, notebooks, accessories, anything she owns, really. We have talked about this SO MANY TIMES. i have taken everything that she left on the floor several times and just recently talked with her and gave it back. The very next time she leaves the hous, the room is trashed again. Am i crazy?? What is a good approach here?

It's her room, her shit. Just close the door so you don't have to look at it.

Guess i should have mentioned she shares a room with dd8.

[Anonymous 6]

I would get garbage bags and put everything in the bags. She gets NOTHING back until her attitude and disgusting habits change. The next step would be to remove her door and strip her room, leaving her bed and 7 sets of the oldest ugliest clothes she has.

Wow! Harsh.

I dont think so especially since this is an omgoing issue along with the child disrespect thrown into the mix.

[Anonymous 3]

You have to figure out what your DD12 cherishes the most. If it's her phone, her phone is mine until the room is somewhat liveable. OR...I'd go a different route. Do you have another small room that she could make her bedroom? If so, I'd move her into that smaller room and let her live however way she wants. And in the process of "moving," I'd have her get rid of unwanted/unused items. Does she have TOO much? That is often the problem.

If you don't have the option of moving her into another smaller room, I'd section off her current bedroom with a "divider curtain." And I'd give her the smaller portion of the room. And I wouldn't tell her that this is punishment for how she lives. I'd just do it. And if she asks why you are doing that, tell her, "I thought it would be nice for you guys to have your own rooms."

Dd12 is driving me nuts.
She has been being so disrespectful of her things. I used to help her clean and organize her room but once she turned 11 i decided she can do it. She just trashes her room all the time. My rule was before bed and before leaving the house, your stuff should be picked up and taken care of. But still, she leaves books all over the floor, some of them library books. Clothes, makeup, markwrs, notebooks, accessories, anything she owns, really. We have talked about this SO MANY TIMES. i have taken everything that she left on the floor several times and just recently talked with her and gave it back. The very next time she leaves the hous, the room is trashed again. Am i crazy?? What is a good approach here?

It's her room, her shit. Just close the door so you don't have to look at it.

Guess i should have mentioned she shares a room with dd8.

[Anonymous 3]

You should edit your initial post to include that info. It might change the responses that you get.

Dd12 is driving me nuts.
She has been being so disrespectful of her things. I used to help her clean and organize her room but once she turned 11 i decided she can do it. She just trashes her room all the time. My rule was before bed and before leaving the house, your stuff should be picked up and taken care of. But still, she leaves books all over the floor, some of them library books. Clothes, makeup, markwrs, notebooks, accessories, anything she owns, really. We have talked about this SO MANY TIMES. i have taken everything that she left on the floor several times and just recently talked with her and gave it back. The very next time she leaves the hous, the room is trashed again. Am i crazy?? What is a good approach here?

It's her room, her shit. Just close the door so you don't have to look at it.

Guess i should have mentioned she shares a room with dd8.

[Superbutt]

I will say the same thing even with her sharing a room...choose your battles. Even the title of your post is a little over the top. It's just not really that big of a deal in the big picture of life.

It's her room, her shit. Just close the door so you don't have to look at it.

Guess i should have mentioned she shares a room with dd8.

Something to think about. But the title is just an attention grabber. I'm just annoyed.

[Superbutt]

You should edit your initial post to include that info. It might change the responses that you get.

It's her room, her shit. Just close the door so you don't have to look at it.

Guess i should have mentioned she shares a room with dd8.

Done.

[Superbutt]

You have to figure out what your DD12 cherishes the most. If it's her phone, her phone is mine until the room is somewhat liveable. OR...I'd go a different route. Do you have another small room that she could make her bedroom? If so, I'd move her into that smaller room and let her live however way she wants. And in the process of "moving," I'd have her get rid of unwanted/unused items. Does she have TOO much? That is often the problem.

If you don't have the option of moving her into another smaller room, I'd section off her current bedroom with a "divider curtain." And I'd give her the smaller portion of the room. And I wouldn't tell her that this is punishment for how she lives. I'd just do it. And if she asks why you are doing that, tell her, "I thought it would be nice for you guys to have your own rooms."

It's her room, her shit. Just close the door so you don't have to look at it.

Guess i should have mentioned she shares a room with dd8.

I like your ideas. The divider curtain could work, maybe. We have a 3 bed home and 4 kids, youngest is 2 months, oldest is 14. (We do plan to move)
Right now dd8 and dd12 share, and ds14 has his own room. The baby sleeps in our room in her crib. Our plan is to give our 14 year old a space in the basement he has been begging for but we have to clean it up first/make it nicer. Then his room will be the baby's room. So not sure about moving dd12 anywhere.