Boyfriend at kids sporting events.

[Anonymous 1]

My boyfriend is involved with my girls who play basketball. He shoots baskets with them and practices with them. They asked if he’d come to their game. So the last game he did come.

Before he came to the game I told me ex he’d be there. My ex wasn’t happy at all. He said he couldn’t enjoy the game if he came. He said it made him sick to his stomach. My ex was abusive to me, a diagnosed narcissist, and he has consistently tried to get me back.

My ex told me that it’s better I’m more sensitive to his feelings then having my own “agenda”. I don’t have an agenda. I’ve just moved on with my life. It has nothing to do with him at all.

I’m wondering how to handle this situation. I’m 100% committed to my boyfriend and that’s the only reason he’s so involved.

[Anonymous 2]

Wrong place to ask many here will say a boyfriend is nothing and your kids shouldn't be involved with him until you're married.

[Linda_Runs]

Wrong place to ask many here will say a boyfriend is nothing and your kids shouldn't be involved with him until you're married.

My opinion varies a bit from yours. I believe that a boyfriend who is going to have a future relationship SHOULD be involved with the kids in stages. I wouldn't wait until I was married to find out that my man was not good with children.

[Anonymous 2]

Wrong place to ask many here will say a boyfriend is nothing and your kids shouldn't be involved with him until you're married.

My opinion varies a bit from yours. I believe that a boyfriend who is going to have a future relationship SHOULD be involved with the kids in stages. I wouldn't wait until I was married to find out that my man was not good with children.

I believe the same as you but many do but many here do not.

[Linda_Runs]

Wrong place to ask many here will say a boyfriend is nothing and your kids shouldn't be involved with him until you're married.

My opinion varies a bit from yours. I believe that a boyfriend who is going to have a future relationship SHOULD be involved with the kids in stages. I wouldn't wait until I was married to find out that my man was not good with children.

I believe the same as you but many do but many here do not.

Totally agreed! But I could put a post about the sun being bright and at least one person would argue!

[Poietes]

Tell him this has absolutely nothing to do with him and everything to do with what the kids want. Period.

[Pjmm]

Admittedly I don't like to feel controlled so I'd probably recommend my ex take a Tums and deal with it. I would say well I told you as a courtesy not because of my agenda. In the future my life is not your business and we'll only discuss what relates to the children.

[Deleted User 172]

Wrong place to ask many here will say a boyfriend is nothing and your kids shouldn't be involved with him until you're married.

My opinion varies a bit from yours. I believe that a boyfriend who is going to have a future relationship SHOULD be involved with the kids in stages. I wouldn't wait until I was married to find out that my man was not good with children.

This exactly.
And also, the narc ex can go f**k himself.

Kids are a pretty good judge of character, if they like him then he's ok in my book.

[RedBottoms]

If the place is big enough that they don't have to be right on top of each other then just sit on opposite sides of the court or whatever. No big deal. I would have boyfriend hang back though when Dad comes up to congratulate them or whatever just to keep distance.

[Valentina327]

Bring your ex a bucket then, since he's going to have to get used to being sick to his stomach. He's still trying to control you clearly. Once a narcissist always a narcissist.

It would be different if your kids hated having him around, but they asked for him to come. That's very sweet.

And I agree with Linda. No you don't parade every guy you date a few weeks around your children.
However, if it looks like he's sticking around then it's best to see sooner rather than later how they all interact.