Normal behavior??

[Anonymous 1]

I have a teenage son. He is my oldest. He is so moody and rude sometimes. Is this normal teenage behavior/hormones, etc or is he just being a pure ahole? I wasn't allowed to express any of my feelings or show that I was in a bad mood while I was growing up so I don't know if it's okay to allow him to be rude or punish him for it.

[Traci_Momof2]

It's ok to have feelings and express feelings. It's not ok to be a rude asshole to others while having them. That is the distinct difference that you need to teach him. If he's in a mood and can't speak to others without being rude, then perhaps he should just go sit in his room and have time to himself. Secluding oneself until the mood passes is perfectly acceptable. Going around being rude to others and thinking they should just excuse it because of "moods" or "hormones" is NOT acceptable.

[Lotus]

I think it is very typical and I think it should be addressed. Their hormones are raging in general and they are assaulted from all the hormones in the dairy and meat that the kids eat.

[SeekingPeace]

Can you give a few examples?

[Anonymous 2]

Instigating fights with his little sister (she is 11 and he is 14). I know that is normal to fight, but man, they do it all the time! My DD can let it go quickly once they fight and my DS holds onto it and won't let his anger/moodiness go for hours to days from the argument.

Earlier today he was starting a fight with his sister and he had something of hers and I grabbed his arm to try to get it from him and he said "don't touch me!" in a really rude way! Man that made me mad! I have never hit/whipped my kids and the way he said it was so rude! Then he started tapping this heater thing we have plugged in and it was on...I started to notice a smell from it when he started tapping it (why was he tapping it anyways?) I told him to stop and he said why? I said I smell something and you shouldn't be doing that anyways. He said you don't smell something from it....me tapping it wouldn't make it smell! I told him I started smelling something weird from the heater once he started tapping it and that I am sick of his attitude! He just sat there and looked at me.

These are just a couple of examples from today. Sometimes there are worse examples and sometimes not as bad. Things have been building on winter break and my husband got home from work and I had him take DS out of the house to give me a break...I have never asked DH to do that before but I really needed to be away from DS and it's doesn't feel good to want to be away from my son. I have had serious talk with my son over the years here and there....I ask him why he is so moody sometimes, I remind him what a great life he has. These talks sometimes help for a few days and that's it. He acts so spoiled and rude sometimes. I hate it.

Can you give a few examples?

[mater-three]

Ahhh! He’s 14. This is very typical of hormonal teenagers. That’s not to say that it is ok but yes, it’s quite common behavior. This too shall pass.
I think it went away with dd22 at about 20. We are still dealing with it with dd17.

[Anonymous 2]

Seriously?

[leadfoot40]

Yes its normal for teens to hormonal. Isnt that common knowledge?

[Olioxenfree]

Just because it is normal does not mean you should just accept it. It's important that he learns that just because he is in a bad mood or is having a bad day, that doesn't make it okay to take that out on others. It is an important lesson for an adult to know. Too many kids, especially boys, aren't being taught how to properly verbalize their feelings and instead they internalize it all until they act like a jerk to others. I would teach him that he can express his emotions and he is allowed to have a bad day, but if he is rude or disrespectful, that won't be tolerated and he will be punished.

[Anonymous 3]

I think a certain amount of moodiness among teens is normal. And so is some antagonistic behavior between siblings. But if it's incessant, both may need to be addressed. He could be just pushing buttons (both yours AND your daughter's) simply as a source of entertainment. And that can get old real quick. I'm not making excuses for him; but is he bored? If you think this may be part of the problem, talk to your son about starting a new hobby and ask your husband for help with fostering it.

I'd also (if you haven't already) have the talk with him about how he's getting older now and how with that will come certain freedoms (and expectations). SELL the freedoms aspect of it (keeping in mind that those freedoms can be both given & taken away based on his behavior). Make sure you tell him how confident you are in his ability to act like the adult he is becoming. Sometimes, just us placing our confidence in them makes a world of difference in both their behavior AND their efforts. And sometimes, because they are teenagers, they won't hear a word we say! LOL Good luck!

Instigating fights with his little sister (she is 11 and he is 14). I know that is normal to fight, but man, they do it all the time! My DD can let it go quickly once they fight and my DS holds onto it and won't let his anger/moodiness go for hours to days from the argument.

Earlier today he was starting a fight with his sister and he had something of hers and I grabbed his arm to try to get it from him and he said "don't touch me!" in a really rude way! Man that made me mad! I have never hit/whipped my kids and the way he said it was so rude! Then he started tapping this heater thing we have plugged in and it was on...I started to notice a smell from it when he started tapping it (why was he tapping it anyways?) I told him to stop and he said why? I said I smell something and you shouldn't be doing that anyways. He said you don't smell something from it....me tapping it wouldn't make it smell! I told him I started smelling something weird from the heater once he started tapping it and that I am sick of his attitude! He just sat there and looked at me.

These are just a couple of examples from today. Sometimes there are worse examples and sometimes not as bad. Things have been building on winter break and my husband got home from work and I had him take DS out of the house to give me a break...I have never asked DH to do that before but I really needed to be away from DS and it's doesn't feel good to want to be away from my son. I have had serious talk with my son over the years here and there....I ask him why he is so moody sometimes, I remind him what a great life he has. These talks sometimes help for a few days and that's it. He acts so spoiled and rude sometimes. I hate it.

Can you give a few examples?