The judge ordered 50/50 custody for a 3 week old baby

[agander2017]

That's very sad, but I think these days judges are trying to make it fair for both parents. And 50/50 is the only fair way. The baby is very young, and it's going to be very confusing for her. And hard for everyone. Dad doesn't want to be away from the baby either, but things happen that change situations. Just because the marriage ended doesn't mean that baby should stay with one parent or another.

Also, she can get a pump, and pump breast milk, as well as nurse when she has baby.

It's not fair to the baby. The judge shouldn't be on the bench.

It's also not fair to the parents if one has the baby more than the other one. The baby is young, I'm sure its not even going to bother her. Why should one parent get more time with her than the other one, just because the marriage didn't work out?

[madfoodie]

You can tell who the golden uterus holders here are.

[Deleted User 172]

If you do it right it is way easier to defrost breast milk than it is to scoop, measure, mix and shake the powder formula or even measure and shake the liquid formula. What is wrong with you women?

Nothing is wrong with us women. Unless you think that because we believe that a father is just as important to a child as a mother there is something wrong with us.

Nope. I’m usually right along with women defending the father but some of you are acting real stupid about breast milk. And you of all people are a nurse. There should be no reason that father can’t do what’s best for the baby and give it breast milk that has already been pumped and prepared for the baby for the week it’s with daddy. If he really cared about his kid as much as all of you are saying and not just being spiteful then he would think what is best for the kid and not refuse to give it breast milk. When I say what is wrong with you women I mean how can you not effing see that?

Fed is best for the baby. It doesnt matter how.
Bonding with mom and dad is best for the baby.
Not being bounced from house to house is best for the baby.

[Anonymous 3]

That's very sad, but I think these days judges are trying to make it fair for both parents. And 50/50 is the only fair way. The baby is very young, and it's going to be very confusing for her. And hard for everyone. Dad doesn't want to be away from the baby either, but things happen that change situations. Just because the marriage ended doesn't mean that baby should stay with one parent or another.

Also, she can get a pump, and pump breast milk, as well as nurse when she has baby.

It's not fair to the baby. The judge shouldn't be on the bench.

It's also not fair to the parents if one has the baby more than the other one. The baby is young, I'm sure its not even going to bother her. Why should one parent get more time with her than the other one, just because the marriage didn't work out?

All that matters is what's best for the baby. Going back and forth like that will have a negative impact on the child developing a secure attachment. That has lifelong negative consequences. Most judges don't do 50/50 until children are older because of that.

[Anonymous 3]

You can tell who the golden uterus holders here are.

You tell them! How dare people be more concerned about doing the right thing for the child instead of fulfilling somebody's idea of equality!!!!

[agander2017]

It's not fair to the baby. The judge shouldn't be on the bench.

It's also not fair to the parents if one has the baby more than the other one. The baby is young, I'm sure its not even going to bother her. Why should one parent get more time with her than the other one, just because the marriage didn't work out?

All that matters is what's best for the baby. Going back and forth like that will have a negative impact on the child developing a secure attachment. That has lifelong negative consequences. Most judges don't do 50/50 until children are older because of that.

So will only having one parent all of the time. She has two parents, not just one. I think it's great that he wants 50/50 custody. Some fathers wouldn't care enough. When children get older, and have to suddenly do 50/50 they don't understand, and it's often a hard transition for them. She will have both parents. That's what matters. I see nothing wrong with that. The mother shouldn't automatically get the baby because they split up. Both parents deserve to have baby for equal amounts of time.

[Anonymous 3]

It's also not fair to the parents if one has the baby more than the other one. The baby is young, I'm sure its not even going to bother her. Why should one parent get more time with her than the other one, just because the marriage didn't work out?

All that matters is what's best for the baby. Going back and forth like that will have a negative impact on the child developing a secure attachment. That has lifelong negative consequences. Most judges don't do 50/50 until children are older because of that.

So will only having one parent all of the time. She has two parents, not just one. I think it's great that he wants 50/50 custody. Some fathers wouldn't care enough. When children get older, and have to suddenly do 50/50 they don't understand, and it's often a hard transition for them. She will have both parents. That's what matters. I see nothing wrong with that. The mother shouldn't automatically get the baby because they split up. Both parents deserve to have baby for equal amounts of time.

Next time you take your child(ren) to the peditrician, ask about secure attachment. Children who aren't able to develop it as infants face have significant psychological issues even as adults.

The difficulty of going to 50/50 when the child is a year or 18 months would be far less detrimental than the back and forth between caregivers now.

[agander2017]

All that matters is what's best for the baby. Going back and forth like that will have a negative impact on the child developing a secure attachment. That has lifelong negative consequences. Most judges don't do 50/50 until children are older because of that.

So will only having one parent all of the time. She has two parents, not just one. I think it's great that he wants 50/50 custody. Some fathers wouldn't care enough. When children get older, and have to suddenly do 50/50 they don't understand, and it's often a hard transition for them. She will have both parents. That's what matters. I see nothing wrong with that. The mother shouldn't automatically get the baby because they split up. Both parents deserve to have baby for equal amounts of time.

Next time you take your child(ren) to the peditrician, ask about secure attachment. Children who aren't able to develop it as infants face have significant psychological issues even as adults.

The difficulty of going to 50/50 when the child is a year or 18 months would be far less detrimental than the back and forth between caregivers now.

Okay, so maybe the judge should give full custody to the father then. Would that be a better solution?

[Anonymous 3]

[*]

So will only having one parent all of the time. She has two parents, not just one. I think it's great that he wants 50/50 custody. Some fathers wouldn't care enough. When children get older, and have to suddenly do 50/50 they don't understand, and it's often a hard transition for them. She will have both parents. That's what matters. I see nothing wrong with that. The mother shouldn't automatically get the baby because they split up. Both parents deserve to have baby for equal amounts of time.

Next time you take your child(ren) to the peditrician, ask about secure attachment. Children who aren't able to develop it as infants face have significant psychological issues even as adults.

The difficulty of going to 50/50 when the child is a year or 18 months would be far less detrimental than the back and forth between caregivers now.

Okay, so maybe the judge should give full custody to the father then. Would that be a better solution?

The judge should give physical custody to the parent who can provide the most stable environment. The other parent should have regular visitation.

[Anonymous 17]

Give it some time. He'll likely decide he isn't interested in 50/50 when he doesn't sleep since babies this young day every couple of hours or has to pay a ton of money on daycare for an infant when he's at work. Yeah, yeah men are such amazing fathers and get picked on all the time by ball busting women. Not. Some guys are great single fathers but from what I've seen, read and heard about, they are few and far between. Most still seem to not want to deal with babies and young kids when they can push the job off on someone else. I have a feeling we'll be reading about how the CO changed or he only wants the baby for short visits.