Dd pissed me off today

[Momto2boys973]

To answer your question, yes. You and your son go to the gym and if she doesn’t want to join you, fine. It’s her decision.
And you’re the mother, act like one. Going on your tantrum, telling her “if you want to stay home in bed and expand and have your body hurt like mine, have your knees go bad and get lymphedema like me than be my guest! Have at it” is childish and uncalled for. That’s not the way to motivate any person, let alone your child. It’s always the same with you: if these things become issues for you and your kids it’s because YOU turn them into issues and then don’t know how to stop it.
What would I have done? Decide on MY weight loss journey and let my kids decide on theirs. If one of them didn’t want to go to the gym, I would respect that and helped them to find an alternative they feel more comfortable with, like an exercise app or join them for a walk. I certainly wouldn’t start berating them for not doing it my way and go into childish retorts.

[Anonymous 3]

I didn't read any of the other responses, but in my experience growing up with parents that yelled, it didn't make me want to do what they were yelling about. Kids and adults change their minds about things all the time. She can figure out if she wants to work out or not. I would back off of the yelling about it to her and maybe, just maybe, she can see you and your son's working out as a positive when she sees positive changes in you both. Maybe that will inspire her to do positive things for herself.

[jas]

Her decision should not impact yours. You son was waiting on her to take a shower? really? No one heard the water not running? Come on... You were also looking for an excuse to not go.

[Kookookrazy]

I don't know how long it's going to take you to realize your daughter is an adult and it's time to stop controlling her. Just tell her we're going to the gym if you want to come and leave it at that.
My rule for my teenage ds is if you want me to pay for a gym membership you will go 3-5 times a week. If he doesn't want to go I'm not paying.
She likely also has access to an on campus rec center she may be more willing to work out in than going to the gym with her mommy who treats her like a child.

Dd does not go to any gym at her college. She goes to her classes and comes straight home. I have encouraged her to join clubs,socialize and do things at her school repeatedly and she refuses. This is why I told her she will be living on campus after she graduates community college.

[Kookookrazy]

Stop badgering her about it. And exercise is good of course but your diet is the reason you are 300lbs. Have you ever seen a nutritionist, asked about medication, or seen a weight loss doctor for surgery?

My pcp doesn't believe in weight loss surgery.Its very stupid. I need to find a new doctor. I do take Alli that i buy on Amazon.

[Kookookrazy]

Sorry this is the first time im seeing the replies since i posted this . Im reading the replies now.

In the meantime I have brought dd back to the gym 3 times since I posted this and we did a weigh in yesterday. Since we got back from the cruise I am 15 pounds down, Ds16 is 11 pounds down and Dd19 is 9 pounds down.She was ecstatic yesterday and she finally stopped complaining now that she saw results .She did 1 hour on the treadmill on a 9.0 incline and some strength training yesterday. We are all losing weight!

[Kookookrazy]

Okay i read the replies and you guys said to leave her alone and youre right going forward if she grumbles about not wanting to go than I wont badger her about it.Ill just go by myself.

I dont want my daughter to suffer the way that i suffer with my weight so I do get upset when she doesn't want to exercise because i know how easy it is to put weight on being sedentary.

I used to have ds and dd enrolled in MMA when we lived in nyc and she told me she wants to start mma again so I will look into that but idk how that ill go now that she is an adult she was in teen classes before.