Has anyone dealt with this?

[carterscutie85]

Has anyone had a child who just kind of has some quirks, and if so how did you help them manage at school with them?

My 5 year old goes to preschool. He's smart as a whip and he's social/talks normal for his age.

But he just has some things he does and I guess since he isn't going to qualify for special needs classes next year in Kindergarten I'm not really sure how the school can help him.

For example:

He CANNOT be dirty. Ever. Even the tiniest teeniest crumb of food on him and he's having a meltdown. Now this has gotten better, but he still obsesses on it. To be fair, I also HATE being dirty, but I've learned to manage and not freak out over it like I used to do at his age.

He's very particular on some things. Like if he uses the same hook to hang his coat daily, or the same stall in the bathroom, then that's HIS stall and hook, and he has a meltdown if someone else uses it.

He reads all rules for the classroom and is absolutely insistent that they be followed at all times. His teachers joke that he could run the classroom.

He has echolia, it's coming out as him randomly reciting commercials and movies at school. Like it'll be reading time and he just randomly says those things. I stg this kid can watch something once and boom, he's memorized the entire thing.

But then because he is so smart, and social, and not behind on anything else, I don't see him qualifying for special needs classes. My oldest had to have them and he was behind on a lot of things like speech, physical, OT things. So he was getting all that support while in school but my youngest doesn't need any of that.

I called the school he'll be attending and they said they'll just evaluate him once he starts school but it's like what's the in between? Not qualifying for special needs, don't think he'll need a para, but he's still got some of these issues going on.

I'm afraid of him falling through the cracks because he won't necessarily qualify for special needs classes but he does have those quirks he does.

They think he has autism and I'm going to be speaking to his doctor to get him evaluated but he catches on to things in a snap and doesn't need therapies or anything so I do think he'll be in regular ed classes but just with those quirks too and I'm not really sure where the support is for that.

[Anonymous 1]

In our school district, no one is separated so everyone is together in each class no matter what diagnosis they have, etc. But they are pulled out for extra help and things like that. Even kids with extreme behavioral issues are still part of the classroom while they are disrupting class which I know is awful for the teachers and everyone involved. I work at the schools and see this quite often. But I think if your son is diagnosed with autism or is on the spectrum, he would get extra help with what he needs.

[WellPreserved]

ASD now includes Aspergers so not an automatic qualification for special academic needs or services. Many kids on the Autism Spectrum have accompanying sensory issues (i.e., not tolerating dirt, some clothing, some food textures, etc.). Many also have OCD behaviors (i.e., obsessive rituals, hand washing, etc.). Some kids may outgrow sensory issues and OCD behaviors but many don't and in fact they can get worse to the point of being debilitating and often accompanied by increasing anxiety.

Occupational therapy, especially early intervention, can help immensely. I would go ahead with a full psycho-educational evaluation which will give you a clear picture of your child when they enter kindergarten and whether or not your child needs an IEP and what therapies may be recommended. Schools will provide these therapies if needed to function in school - for example, if your child's sensory issues prohibits them from holding a pencil or writing on paper (that was my kid). If not, generally insurance will cover these therapies.

[RIZZY]

My daughter has anxiety and she was having melt downs at school due to bullying by her ex boyfriend. She ended up with a 504 plan that allows her to go to the nurse or the counselor so that she doesn't have a full meltdown and doesn't disrupt class for other students. A 504 plan is often used for students who have some kind of disability but do not qualify for special education for one reason or another.

[Anonymous 2]

Sounds like my oldest and after talking to the school and requesting an evaluation before kindergarten I was told that he could teach the 3rd grade class but because he was so smart he wouldn't qualify for any accommodations. Anytime he was having a meltdown it would be treated as a behavioral issue not was autism (which he is diagnosed with). We ended up homeschooling because I just couldn't do that to him. It was the best decision I could have made for him.

[LiveWhatULove]

One of my children is AuDHD with learning disabilities - although we never use those terms around or with him. I also have 2 children who are high ability, and well, when you got an IQ of 139 — you tend to have a few quirks compared to the rest of the world as well. So if you have a 2E kid, it stands to reason — he might be really quirky.

Sharing my experience — this school IEP was one small part of his helping my succeed. But the brunt of the effort came from outside the school supports — we have a district that has the highest ranked SPED program in the state, and it is so wonderful for kids with moderate to high needs. But for people like your son and my son, with overall low support needs, they are just unable to really provide the services that make a difference.

To actually help my son, we had private OT, ST, PT, counseling, tutoring, and LOTS of parental and sibling support over the years to get him where he is today. The IEP’s main benefit was a solid piece of communication so the teachers understood him a little more.

If I were you, I would read every book you can about parenting these types of kids. This really helped me. And I also liked the book, Awkward by Tashiro as a way to frame my kid’s weird behaviors in a more natural way.

[carterscutie85]

Sounds like my oldest and after talking to the school and requesting an evaluation before kindergarten I was told that he could teach the 3rd grade class but because he was so smart he wouldn't qualify for any accommodations. Anytime he was having a meltdown it would be treated as a behavioral issue not was autism (which he is diagnosed with). We ended up homeschooling because I just couldn't do that to him. It was the best decision I could have made for him.

That's one of my fears is that they will think he is misbehaving when he isn't.

[Anonymous 2]

Sounds like my oldest and after talking to the school and requesting an evaluation before kindergarten I was told that he could teach the 3rd grade class but because he was so smart he wouldn't qualify for any accommodations. Anytime he was having a meltdown it would be treated as a behavioral issue not was autism (which he is diagnosed with). We ended up homeschooling because I just couldn't do that to him. It was the best decision I could have made for him.

That's one of my fears is that they will think he is misbehaving when he isn't.

For my kid and our situation homeschool was definitely the best thing I could have done for him. We lived in a rural area with basically no support so I spent so many hours researching the best ways to help my son with this behavior or that behavior. He's now an amazing 17 year old who no longer needs support and can do things I never dreamed he would be capable of.
It's a tough spot for sure but you sound like a loving mom and I'm sure you will do what it takes to help him no matter which path you choose for your family.

[Olioxenfree]

It sounds like he might have some sensory needs, but at that age those can come and go. It doesn’t sound like anything that would cause him to need specialized education, just some basic accommodations of things like if they are doing a messy craft, give him a smock and a tool so he doesn’t have to touch it with his hands. Most teachers are trained to work around those kinds of mild accommodations.

I’m the meantime I would work with a therapist if possible to teach you exercises to over time help him not let it control his life. My husband was originally diagnosed with OCD, but he really had anxiety that caused him to do things like wash his hands until they bled and always have to keep certain things in the same place. Our eldest son started showing some of the same behaviors, we think mainly from watching his dad, so my husband worked with him to gradually accept that it might be uncomfortable, but everything will be okay if you don’t make your bed one day or if there’s a mark on your desk. My son moved past it and my husband still has his preferences, but he doesn’t let it ruin his day if that’s not what happens. And he has strategies for the things that really will bother him.

[Heyteacher]

He may not need special education, but you can sill advocate for a 504 plan for him. It he has a diagnosis, even that of anxiety he will be eligible. While different than an IEP, it would allow for legally binding accommodations for him. Perhaps when he becomes overwhelmed when a classmate isn’t following the directions he can have a sensory break for 15 minutes etc.

You will need to write a letter to the principal, special needs coordinator, and his classroom teacher. Get the ball rolling as it take up to 60 days to implement.

2 years ago I had a little guy in my classroom—he could balance my check book and do my taxes he was that smart. Yet he often had outbursts when things didn’t go his way. It took me nearly the whole year to convince Mom to get the 504, but once we did it made his experience so much better.