A vent post for whoever needs to vent

[RealisticBeauti]

I've been a SAHM for 6 years now and my 3 year old finally started school in Sept. I was looking forward to finally having ME time while the kids were at school and my SO was at work but that didn't happen. My SO got ill a month after the kids started school and I became his care giver. It's hard for me. Everyone thinks my existence is to serve them. I just want to relax.

[MonarchMom]

So sorry to hear this. Caring for family can be exhausting, and it is important to find some kind of balance.

Does you SO need someone with them at all times? If not, you should spend an hour a day at the library or a gym so you have a mental and physical break.

[RealisticBeauti]

So sorry to hear this. Caring for family can be exhausting, and it is important to find some kind of balance.

Does you SO need someone with them at all times? If not, you should spend an hour a day at the library or a gym so you have a mental and physical break.

He expects me to do everything for him and the kids. He's using the walker now and making his own coffee but whenever I leave the house he's not happy. I fell into a deep depression and trying so hard to get out of it. No I'm not young but I'm not old either so i still want a life. I feel like I'm caring for a parent. I feel bad feeling this way because he's still taking care of all of our bills but that's it. No effort in anything else. He wakes up, make coffee and everything is on me.

[MonarchMom]

So sorry to hear this. Caring for family can be exhausting, and it is important to find some kind of balance.

Does you SO need someone with them at all times? If not, you should spend an hour a day at the library or a gym so you have a mental and physical break.

He expects me to do everything for him and the kids. He's using the walker now and making his own coffee but whenever I leave the house he's not happy. I fell into a deep depression and trying so hard to get out of it. No I'm not young but I'm not old either so i still want a life. I feel like I'm caring for a parent. I feel bad feeling this way because he's still taking care of all of our bills but that's it. No effort in anything else. He wakes up, make coffee and everything is on me.

It sounds like it will be up to you to find the balance. No one else is going to give it to you, or volunteer support. I don't know how old your SO is, but many counties have respite care for families that have someone on disability, or a senior who lives with family. Or you might want to hire a "house cleaner" who comes a few times a week to do laundry and some chores, and can be in the house so you can leave. Just because someone wants you to do everything does not mean you must. It doesn't even mean it is the healthiest or best solution.

[RealisticBeauti]

So sorry to hear this. Caring for family can be exhausting, and it is important to find some kind of balance.

Does you SO need someone with them at all times? If not, you should spend an hour a day at the library or a gym so you have a mental and physical break.

He expects me to do everything for him and the kids. He's using the walker now and making his own coffee but whenever I leave the house he's not happy. I fell into a deep depression and trying so hard to get out of it. No I'm not young but I'm not old either so i still want a life. I feel like I'm caring for a parent. I feel bad feeling this way because he's still taking care of all of our bills but that's it. No effort in anything else. He wakes up, make coffee and everything is on me.

It sounds like it will be up to you to find the balance. No one else is going to give it to you, or volunteer support. I don't know how old your SO is, but many counties have respite care for families that have someone on disability, or a senior who lives with family. Or you might want to hire a "house cleaner" who comes a few times a week to do laundry and some chores, and can be in the house so you can leave. Just because someone wants you to do everything does not mean you must. It doesn't even mean it is the healthiest or best solution.

You're right! My therapist and mom told me the same thing. He's approaching 60 , an Aquarius and very stubborn. I appreciate your feedback, I needed to read that today.

[MonarchMom]

He expects me to do everything for him and the kids. He's using the walker now and making his own coffee but whenever I leave the house he's not happy. I fell into a deep depression and trying so hard to get out of it. No I'm not young but I'm not old either so i still want a life. I feel like I'm caring for a parent. I feel bad feeling this way because he's still taking care of all of our bills but that's it. No effort in anything else. He wakes up, make coffee and everything is on me.

It sounds like it will be up to you to find the balance. No one else is going to give it to you, or volunteer support. I don't know how old your SO is, but many counties have respite care for families that have someone on disability, or a senior who lives with family. Or you might want to hire a "house cleaner" who comes a few times a week to do laundry and some chores, and can be in the house so you can leave. Just because someone wants you to do everything does not mean you must. It doesn't even mean it is the healthiest or best solution.

You're right! My therapist and mom told me the same thing. He's approaching 60 , an Aquarius and very stubborn. I appreciate your feedback, I needed to read that today.

60 is not old. He has many years ahead that you should plan for. You need a long term plan that provides support services for him, perhaps physical therapy and adult day activities, as well as a plan for how you will take care of yourself and your young ones.

[SallyMae]

It sounds like it will be up to you to find the balance. No one else is going to give it to you, or volunteer support. I don't know how old your SO is, but many counties have respite care for families that have someone on disability, or a senior who lives with family. Or you might want to hire a "house cleaner" who comes a few times a week to do laundry and some chores, and can be in the house so you can leave. Just because someone wants you to do everything does not mean you must. It doesn't even mean it is the healthiest or best solution.

You're right! My therapist and mom told me the same thing. He's approaching 60 , an Aquarius and very stubborn. I appreciate your feedback, I needed to read that today.

60 is not old. He has many years ahead that you should plan for. You need a long term plan that provides support services for him, perhaps physical therapy and adult day activities, as well as a plan for how you will take care of yourself and your young ones.

Such great advice, good luck RB!!

[Anonymous 1]

What happened to your nanny?

[RealisticBeauti]

It sounds like it will be up to you to find the balance. No one else is going to give it to you, or volunteer support. I don't know how old your SO is, but many counties have respite care for families that have someone on disability, or a senior who lives with family. Or you might want to hire a "house cleaner" who comes a few times a week to do laundry and some chores, and can be in the house so you can leave. Just because someone wants you to do everything does not mean you must. It doesn't even mean it is the healthiest or best solution.

You're right! My therapist and mom told me the same thing. He's approaching 60 , an Aquarius and very stubborn. I appreciate your feedback, I needed to read that today.

60 is not old. He has many years ahead that you should plan for. You need a long term plan that provides support services for him, perhaps physical therapy and adult day activities, as well as a plan for how you will take care of yourself and your young ones.

He's an Aquarius lol so very stubborn! He thinks drinking whole milk and orange juice will cure him. He's literally ordered every bit of medical stuff off of Amazon to cure himself and nothing is working. He does need adult interactions outside of me however getting him to do it is the problem. My little ones are the reason why I stay. He's a good provider and we need that.

[RealisticBeauti]

What happened to your nanny?

My mom and sister helped out for a bit but that was it. I don't need a nanny because neither of us are working, I just need him to help out.