How would it make you feel?

[Anonymous 1]

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

[Anonymous 3]

A lot of speculation is going on. You sound insanely insecure. Considering you said he was jacking off to this other woman, he probably looked at her once and you blew it way out of proportion. And why hint at anything, just say you want to have S*x.

[Anonymous 4]

I would have called him on checking out the other woman. That would have hurt my feelings and he would have needed to know that. You have a breakdown in communication here-you were mad about an action he took but you didn't communicate that and it escalated. And yes, he was a jerk for doing it.

[Anonymous 5]

Only an idiot would be with a man like that

[Anonymous 2]

How do you "know" he was thinking about the other woman. You can't possibly know this. It seems as if your own insecurities are making your imagination go in to overdrive. Unless my husband was physically touching this woman it wouldn't bother me. If his actions upset me I would talk to him about it rather than let it go and let my imagination drive me nuts. I think camping trips aren't going to fix your problems you clearly need to learn how to communicate with each other without "starting a fight". If you feel you can't tell him how you feel without starting a fight then you have bigger problems than your husband being attracted to a stranger.

You're right, I cant communicate with him. I cant even finish a sentence . I get 2-3 words out & he interrupts me to tell me what I'm saying & how wrong I am . And then tells me what my thoughts & opinions should be.

Well, you have to communicate if you want to make the relationship work. He needs to listen and take your feelings seriously and you need to work on your own insecurities. When you refer to yourself as a hole for him.. that says a lot about how you feel about yourself. A woman confident with her self and relationship would not even be worried about what her husband is looking at because it's normal for people to be attracted to others sometimes even strangers. As long as he's not acting on that attraction you shouldn't assume that he wants her over you shes a stranger he doesn't even know. Just because he looked at her doesn't mean he was thinking about her when he wanted to be intimate or if he masturbated. I suggest you concentrate on yourself for the time being before you focus on fixing a relationship.

[Anonymous 1]

Only an idiot would be with a man like that

Thanks for putting me down when you see I'm already having a hard time. It must be so easy for you to be so perfect.

[Olioxenfree]

I understand why you are upset, but I don't think the way you are going about it is helpful. First, you aren't a mind reader, you don't know what he is thinking. Second, work on communication. He is also not a mind reader. Instead of all of the looks, hints, assumptions, pretending, and not saying anything, tell him what you are feeling. If you have a problem, say to him calmly "it really hurts me when you ----- because ---------, can we talk about this." Use these trips as a time where you can reconnect and be honest with each other.

[Anonymous 1]

How do you "know" he was thinking about the other woman. You can't possibly know this. It seems as if your own insecurities are making your imagination go in to overdrive. Unless my husband was physically touching this woman it wouldn't bother me. If his actions upset me I would talk to him about it rather than let it go and let my imagination drive me nuts. I think camping trips aren't going to fix your problems you clearly need to learn how to communicate with each other without "starting a fight". If you feel you can't tell him how you feel without starting a fight then you have bigger problems than your husband being attracted to a stranger.

You're right, I cant communicate with him. I cant even finish a sentence . I get 2-3 words out & he interrupts me to tell me what I'm saying & how wrong I am . And then tells me what my thoughts & opinions should be.

Well, you have to communicate if you want to make the relationship work. He needs to listen and take your feelings seriously and you need to work on your own insecurities. When you refer to yourself as a hole for him.. that says a lot about how you feel about yourself. A woman confident with her self and relationship would not even be worried about what her husband is looking at because it's normal for people to be attracted to others sometimes even strangers. As long as he's not acting on that attraction you shouldn't assume that he wants her over you shes a stranger he doesn't even know. Just because he looked at her doesn't mean he was thinking about her when he wanted to be intimate or if he masturbated. I suggest you concentrate on yourself for the time being before you focus on fixing a relationship.

So I'm the problem because I dont want him to be horny for another woman then ask me for S*x?

[Anonymous 1]

I understand why you are upset, but I don't think the way you are going about it is helpful. First, you aren't a mind reader, you don't know what he is thinking. Second, work on communication. He is also not a mind reader. Instead of all of the looks, hints, assumptions, pretending, and not saying anything, tell him what you are feeling. If you have a problem, say to him calmly "it really hurts me when you ----- because ---------, can we talk about this." Use these trips as a time where you can reconnect and be honest with each other.

I would but he really doesn't want to hear anything I have to say, my feelings dont matter. He cuts me off ,I usually only get 2-3 words out b4 hes interrupting me to tell me what I'm saying & what's wrong about it.


I'm sorry everyone, I think I'm just realizing ( again) that my marriage is most likely over. Things got really bad for a while, & I let go of the marriage & started living for me. He saw it & I thought realized what he was losing but the truth is he just wants me around to belittle. Whenever I stand up for myself, he starts trying to gaslight me, telling me I'm crazy or I'm delusional.

Ex) I work out hard every day & eat healthy cuz my mom was very overweight & had a lot of medical problems cuz of it. My dh has decided its because of the way he wants me to look.

I recently expressed interest in a home gym I saw on fb for $40. I just wanted something different to do occasionally. My dh made it about him & how he wants me to bulk up & have six pack abs. He went & bought a $300 home gym. Anytime I expressed interest in the home gym while he was setting up the exercise room ( he painted it & stuff), I was told how I was too stupid to understand how the pulley system works & I got 3 different lectures on how not to break it.

I dont even want to touch the home gym now.

[agander2017]

I think you have a serious problem. You need to tell him why you were upset, and that you don't appreciate him looking at other women. If he's getting off thinking about someone else, then that is also a problem.

Honestly, I wouldn't be with a man that stared at another woman when I was sitting right there. I don't know why your marriage is having trouble, but it sounds like it might just get worse from here.