My DH is a Disneyland Dad

[Anonymous 1]

We've been together for almost ten years and he is totally one of those Disneyland dads.

He is supposed to get all of his kids every other weekend, but he doesn't. They are teens now so no one really forces the issue. He lets them do whatever they want anyway when they are here. My SS14 plays video games up until 8am in the morning, His relationship with SD is non-existant. I have tried over the years to overcompensate but I know it means more coming from him than it does me. And when they do come over he just makes a huge spectacle and spends a whole lot of money to make up for the fact that he is a shitty father to them. I have told him all of this to his face but he will not change.

We have not been doing good financially as of late. We are in a lot of debt and I am trying to get us out of it. He is super pissed at me at the moment because he wants to give SS14 $100 for his birthday and I told him that there was no way that we can afford that right now. We have a lot of bills coming out and that isn't in the budget to give that amount of money. DH wants to go out to eat, I told him we couldn't afford that either and offered to cook SS his favorite meal instead. Apparently that is not good enough. Ugh.

Our DD turns two next month and I'm not even doing anything for her birthday either. We cannot afford to.

And before anyone says anything about me marrying a shitty father and having a kid, I didn't realize that he was being a shitty parent until I had my own child to be honest. I stay with him because he is good father to our child because she lives here full time, and I know if I would leave he would do the same thing to DD.

[Anonymous 2]

Honestly I think the system sets things up to be this way. Not saying it's a good excuse. Good luck getting out of debt.

[mojogirl]

So for 8 years you never realized he was evading visitation and buying their affection? And, yep, he's gonna do the same with your child. How sad for her.

[Anonymous 1]

So for 8 years you never realized he was evading visitation and buying their affection? And, yep, he's gonna do the same with your child. How sad for her.

He gave them a choice of coming or not and SD after turning 13 always chose to stay home. When she would come over he would buy her whatever she wanted with my money.

I have told him several times, that I know if I would leave him finally he would do the same to DD that he does to the other ones, and I refuse to have my DD grow up without a dad. He has started to call them more and make plans with them without me doing all of it but I don't know if it's going to stick or not.

[Anonymous 1]

Honestly I think the system sets things up to be this way. Not saying it's a good excuse. Good luck getting out of debt.

No its definitely him. He is supposed to get EOWE and one overnight. He is also supposed to get two weeks in the summer and just never exercised his custodial time like he should have.

[Anonymous 2]

Honestly I think the system sets things up to be this way. Not saying it's a good excuse. Good luck getting out of debt.

No its definitely him. He is supposed to get EOWE and one overnight. He is also supposed to get two weeks in the summer and just never exercised his custodial time like he should have.

When kids are teens and decide they don't want to go/are too busy to go, and we have the attitude displayed so often here that they are "old enough to decide," and if the courts support that which seems more and more common, yeah the system does set things up for this. Again, I'm not saying it's an excuse, and sounds like he played into it. I'm just saying the system lends itself to things turning out this way.

You're in a tough spot with your child. I'm not sure I'd stay but I understand why you do.

[Anonymous 3]

I would not be with a shitty person like that. He is financially irresponsible and an all round crappy father. He will treat your child like that in the future also

[Anonymous 4]

There’s a huge difference between a 2 year olds birthday and a spoiled 14 year olds birthday. Just saying.

[Anonymous 5]

Honestly I think the system sets things up to be this way. Not saying it's a good excuse. Good luck getting out of debt.

No its definitely him. He is supposed to get EOWE and one overnight. He is also supposed to get two weeks in the summer and just never exercised his custodial time like he should have.

When kids are teens and decide they don't want to go/are too busy to go, and we have the attitude displayed so often here that they are "old enough to decide," and if the courts support that which seems more and more common, yeah the system does set things up for this. Again, I'm not saying it's an excuse, and sounds like he played into it. I'm just saying the system lends itself to things turning out this way.

You're in a tough spot with your child. I'm not sure I'd stay but I understand why you do.

I've never known of a teen who refused to do visitation for anything except bad parenting. Don't blame the system for teens choosing to remove themselves from bad situations.

[Anonymous 1]

I would not be with a shitty person like that. He is financially irresponsible and an all round crappy father. He will treat your child like that in the future also

He is honestly really great with our DD and I do not want to be a single mom. For one I do not have the finances to do it by myself, and two he does help a lot when I am working and unable to pick up/take care of DD.

It is shitty. I would make plans with his kids on his behalf all the time. Tell them "we" missed them, you know aat least try. After telling him why I stayed with him at this time, he did make plans with SS14 and SD17 all on his own. And he has been keeping touch with them a lot more. But I can only say so much and do so much.